Grief & Loss

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days]. To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again. Grief & Loss Team  🤗

After a while, following the death of someone close to you, you begin to have moments and sometimes a few hours during which you feel absorbed in something pleasant, and “forget” to think about your loved one. Do you sometimes feel a pang of guilt when you’ve had a good time “without her/him?”  One antidote to feeling disloyal and guilty for feeling good for a change, is to imagine that your loved one is smiling down at you and cheering you on. That they’d approve of your enjoyment if they were still on this earth.Do any of you feel this way sometimes?

When someone you love is nearing the end of life, it can be hard to know what to expect or how best to help. Sometimes, care means holding a hand, playing a favorite song or simply sitting together.This AARP article offers guidance on providing comfort, honoring your loved one’s wishes and leaning on the hospice team for support. It also shares a reassuring reminder: Taking a break to rest or care for yourself doesn’t diminish your love or dedication.Read: How Caregivers Can Prepare for a Loved One’s Final DaysIf you feel comfortable sharing, what has helped you feel supported during end-of-life caregiving—or what do you wish someone had told you? Your experience may help another caregiver feel less alone.

Thursday 7/2 at 11:16 AM I lost mt wife of 40 years. I was her caretaker for 16 years. I worked as well during most of that. To get her to relax I promised her I would hold her hand until she was out and that I'd be there when she woke up. She never woke up. The last promise I made to her was a lie and I have to live with that.  I have spent the last 54 hours reliving every time I raised my voice at her.  I am a ;ost soul.

Lost my husband 6 years ago but can’t seem to move forward. i was his caregiver and miss his presence every day. I need help living my life without him. 

I am turning mute. It’s better said I was here, than left an impression taken the wrong way.I lost my grandpa on the same day I was going all-in with someone else to start a new family. But, …young hearts play games far too much. Keeping a vow, though, through a Yes means just as much to see how it could’ve worked out. For such an impression left, amounts the silence for an original thought. You know what it’s like to be baptized the day before your partner’s birth? You know how similar you two would be? – If only you met at the right time under different circumstances.  Money Talks 

My oldest brother was my mentor friend historian in last few years of his 88 yrs we talked on phone 3-4 times a week. He supported me in so many ways as my husband in midst of Alzheimer’s gratefully Mary Ellen  

Finding ways to safely move and socialize can be a good thing for our wellbeing. We lost our father in July, a good friend on Sept 2nd, and have a friend that is terminally ill. On one visit, I had her tossing a pickleball into her pockets of her walker and each time she got it in, she smiled. We were moving and socializing. I’m working on getting a new sport into all nursing homes, schools, and communities that can be played sitting and standing, inside and outside. How could the little tossing of a pickleball into pockets bring joy? Was it movement and socializing? It did create a happy memory... Stay strong!

I LOSS MY 24 year old daughter 16 years ago but still feels like yesterday..was hoping for a group that understands and be there for each other

Date: THURSDAY - Sep 17, 2026.Time: 11:30am - 1:00pm ET.Venue: Zoom.Location: Virtual.https://www.aarp.org/events/details.finding-meaning-after-loss-webinar.fmnt9wcwdjn

Date: THURSDAY Sep 10, 2026.Time: 11:30am - 1:00pm ET.Venue: Zoom.Location: Virtual.https://www.aarp.org/events/details.nature-heals-grief-and-the-natural-world.46nns2zgl92

Date: THURSDAY - Sep 3, 2026.Time: 11:30am - 1:00pm ET.Venue:  Zoom.Location: Virtual.https://www.aarp.org/events/details.understanding-the-guilt-of-grief.m3nw6q8qtmw

We're glad you're here. Whether you're coping with the loss of a loved one, supporting someone who is grieving, or simply looking for a compassionate community that understands, this forum is a place to share, connect, and find support. Please remember that this is a public discussion forum. While we encourage open and meaningful conversations, we also want to help protect your privacy. When posting, please avoid sharing personal information such as: Home addresses Phone numbers Email addresses Financial information Medical record numbers Other sensitive personal details  Everyone's grief journey is unique, and we ask that all participants treat one another with kindness, empathy, and respect. You're Not Alone We're fortunate to have experienced professionals participating in this community: Amy Goyer (@agoyer), AARP's family caregiving expert, shares insights and resources for caregivers and individuals navigating life's transitions. Jane Cares (@JaneCares), a licensed soc

Date: THURSDAY Aug 6, 2026. Time: 11:30am - 1:00pm ET. Location: Virtual. USE LINK BELOW TO REGISTER. https://www.aarp.org/events/details.what-to-say-and-not-say-to-the-grieving.6NNSCFJFRJF

Date: THURSDAY Aug 20, 2026. Time: 11:30am - 1:00pm ET. USE LINK BELOW TO REGISTER. https://www.aarp.org/events/details.men-and-grief-supporting-men-through-loss.ncn4l8r73jp 

II am attending a grief workshop thru my church for six weeks.  I also attended a 4 week similar workshop in the Fall but this one uses a very good book on grief as a guide for discussion and also includes a journal to write thoughts.  The bottom line seems to be that everyone has their own grief journey to make and whatever you are feeling at a certain time of day or night is perfectly legitimate.  One of my sons said to me that in the spring and summer it will be easier because then I'll be outside gardening and doing yardwork.  That's true.  It has been a long sometimes dreary winter but that doesn't change the fact that I will still be by myself puttering around in the yard and remembering the flower beds he made for me and the deck on the porch.  It kinds of stabs me in the heart.  I continue to cycle thru these first holidays and it isn't that easy but what is the alternative? I have alot to look forward to also. Thanks for letting me share some

Disabled daughter living with parents is loosing her mind trying to grasp recent things! Mother just passed, father is very ill w/cancer and I am disabled! Need legal help to protect fathers rights, etc.  How does one help another if they are lost themselves? Since mothers death my health has gotten worse and my father refuses to let me help him, (gets angry and defensive)!  I feel responsible but not allowed any responsibility! Dont want to loose the house as he has worked so hard his entire life, but loss of finances due to mothers death has hit hard!  Anyone who can give any advice...please do! Open to all! iI know there is a God because He has carried me thus far, my faith remains! Thanks!

Hi, I am brand new to reaching out in forums to find answers.  About a year ago we found my 56 year old sister dead, she appeared to have just passed away in her sleep.  She had not been answering her phone or her text for like 18 hours so me, my husband, and her best friend headed over to her house because something was definitely wrong.  I had the spare key so I went in first and found her dead, laying in bed, like she was just watching television.  I did call 911 right away and they sent a squad over right away.  After taking in the scene and interviewing us, he did call the Medical Examiner who also responded to the scene as well.  Because there was no apparent cause of death, he ordered her to be taken to the Medical Examiners Office for an autopsy.  Long story short her cause of death appears to be from an accidental acute mixture of prescription drugs.  We also discovered that she had polycystic kidney and polycystic liver disease.  N

 I am feeling so lonely since my husband passed away.  The house is so silent.  I'm trying to do things with friends, but even when I am laughing with them, inside I feel like crying.  I feel so empty inside!  😞 

My college roommate was my roommate for life- found we were cousins, I was her caregiver for 28 years after a devastating car accident . Hit from behind by govt van. Weasley lawyer ( he looked like a weasel) got him off. She died 6/7/2024. I’m now along for the first time in my life. I’m 74 and quite alone. No family nearby. Still trying to navigate isolation, silence, boredom. I miss her so much, but she is hale and healthy now and I will see her again. 

Hi everyone.  I lost my dad Thanksgiving weekend.  He and I did everything together--we were gym buddies for 27 years (our last workout together was one year and 3 days before he passed).  We shared lots of hobbies: antique cars, Civil War history, etc.  It's been very difficult. The worst is when something unexpectedly reminds you.  I was at the dentist the other day when the song "Everything I Own" by Bread came on.  It was just awful!  Especially since I distinctly remember when I was a child and my dad explained to me that David Gates wrote that song when his own father died. It looks like you have some great resources here, and I've already signed up for a webinar. Thanks, Dana

 This day is the one year anniversary of my husband's death.  It is a beautiful day, and I do wish it were cloudy and raining.  The last of the 'firsts'.  

It’s been 15 months since my husband of 50+ years  died and it’s been worst than the first few months were. How do I ever move on?

Been thinking I do have enough time for myself but  Little going out,having fun and stuff like that Was more used to going out as a couple but since she passed it's all down  Just feel half as happy always 

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! How a Spouse’s Death Can Affect Your Credit Score. Survivor’s credit can take a hit, especially if late partner handled the couple’s money. By Jon Marcus, AARP. Published September 17, 2024. Soon after Dolores Tighe’s husband died in December 2023, her grief began to be punctuated by letters from banks and calls from strangers asking questions about her finances. Tighe, 78, threw away the letters and hung up on the callers. “I honestly didn’t know who they were,” she says. “And I didn’t want to give out information on the phone." https://www.aarp.org/money/budgeting-saving/info-2024/spouse-death-credit-impact.html