Grief & Loss

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days]. To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again. Grief & Loss Team  🤗

it has been a year since my lost of late oldest daughter.  i miss her each and every day.

My sweetheart died a year ago. The most difficult thing is getting help...to do yard work, handyman projects or even someone to pick me up after a medical procedure.   Gah. I am moving to be closer to family in the spring,  but it's going to be a long winter.

I lost my husband of 51 years on July 26th the day before my birthday. After a long battle of congenital heart failure.  As a care provider John was my total focus and my faith was he was being healed and I could not see that he was getting weaker. So I am still asking the question why my husband and I have not been able to move forward. 

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one (or a job, home, lifestyle, friend, ability...there are so many types of losses). This year, with the pandemic, grief is even more complex, and we are all likely grieving the loss of some of our treasured holiday traditions this year.  Regardless of the type of loss you are experiencing, grief is unique to everyone. There is no one right way to grieve. We all just need to do what feels right to us and try to have healthy outlets (like expressing yourself in this Online Community).  I originally wrote this column in 2012 after my niece died from suicide just after New Year's. That Christmas of 2012 was incredibly difficult for all of us. But I learned a lot. This year I've updated the column to reflect our current pandemic situation.  I hope some of my tips will help carry you through this season. Please share what you've learned in the comments below! Sending you peace and comfort this holiday season and throughout the year. 

Lost my best friend on Halloween last year. It was a fluke that she died, it should never have happened. She would never believe she would be gone . She was my fun friend, always up for a good time. We lived five minutes from each other and carpooled for 25 years. We taught together . Since she died life hasn't been the same. I have friends but they don't do anything, just lunch. Or I have to drive. It's such a lonely feeling

 I am feeling so lonely since my husband passed away.  The house is so silent.  I'm trying to do things with friends, but even when I am laughing with them, inside I feel like crying.  I feel so empty inside!  😞 

Thursday 7/2 at 11:16 AM I lost mt wife of 40 years. I was her caretaker for 16 years. I worked as well during most of that. To get her to relax I promised her I would hold her hand until she was out and that I'd be there when she woke up. She never woke up. The last promise I made to her was a lie and I have to live with that.  I have spent the last 54 hours reliving every time I raised my voice at her.  I am a ;ost soul.

Hi, I am brand new to reaching out in forums to find answers.  About a year ago we found my 56 year old sister dead, she appeared to have just passed away in her sleep.  She had not been answering her phone or her text for like 18 hours so me, my husband, and her best friend headed over to her house because something was definitely wrong.  I had the spare key so I went in first and found her dead, laying in bed, like she was just watching television.  I did call 911 right away and they sent a squad over right away.  After taking in the scene and interviewing us, he did call the Medical Examiner who also responded to the scene as well.  Because there was no apparent cause of death, he ordered her to be taken to the Medical Examiners Office for an autopsy.  Long story short her cause of death appears to be from an accidental acute mixture of prescription drugs.  We also discovered that she had polycystic kidney and polycystic liver disease.  N

Morning, It is so nice to know AARP has a group I can connect with in this time of need. Thank you, Deborah D Carter

It’s been 15 months since my husband of 50+ years  died and it’s been worst than the first few months were. How do I ever move on?

Hi everyone.  I lost my dad Thanksgiving weekend.  He and I did everything together--we were gym buddies for 27 years (our last workout together was one year and 3 days before he passed).  We shared lots of hobbies: antique cars, Civil War history, etc.  It's been very difficult. The worst is when something unexpectedly reminds you.  I was at the dentist the other day when the song "Everything I Own" by Bread came on.  It was just awful!  Especially since I distinctly remember when I was a child and my dad explained to me that David Gates wrote that song when his own father died. It looks like you have some great resources here, and I've already signed up for a webinar. Thanks, Dana

My college roommate was my roommate for life- found we were cousins, I was her caregiver for 28 years after a devastating car accident . Hit from behind by govt van. Weasley lawyer ( he looked like a weasel) got him off. She died 6/7/2024. I’m now along for the first time in my life. I’m 74 and quite alone. No family nearby. Still trying to navigate isolation, silence, boredom. I miss her so much, but she is hale and healthy now and I will see her again. 

I LOSS MY 24 year old daughter 16 years ago but still feels like yesterday..was hoping for a group that understands and be there for each other

Lost my husband 6 years ago but can’t seem to move forward. i was his caregiver and miss his presence every day. I need help living my life without him. 

II am attending a grief workshop thru my church for six weeks.  I also attended a 4 week similar workshop in the Fall but this one uses a very good book on grief as a guide for discussion and also includes a journal to write thoughts.  The bottom line seems to be that everyone has their own grief journey to make and whatever you are feeling at a certain time of day or night is perfectly legitimate.  One of my sons said to me that in the spring and summer it will be easier because then I'll be outside gardening and doing yardwork.  That's true.  It has been a long sometimes dreary winter but that doesn't change the fact that I will still be by myself puttering around in the yard and remembering the flower beds he made for me and the deck on the porch.  It kinds of stabs me in the heart.  I continue to cycle thru these first holidays and it isn't that easy but what is the alternative? I have alot to look forward to also. Thanks for letting me share some

My oldest brother was my mentor friend historian in last few years of his 88 yrs we talked on phone 3-4 times a week. He supported me in so many ways as my husband in midst of Alzheimer’s gratefully Mary Ellen  

When someone you love is nearing the end of life, it can be hard to know what to expect or how best to help. Sometimes, care means holding a hand, playing a favorite song or simply sitting together.This AARP article offers guidance on providing comfort, honoring your loved one’s wishes and leaning on the hospice team for support. It also shares a reassuring reminder: Taking a break to rest or care for yourself doesn’t diminish your love or dedication.Read: How Caregivers Can Prepare for a Loved One’s Final DaysIf you feel comfortable sharing, what has helped you feel supported during end-of-life caregiving—or what do you wish someone had told you? Your experience may help another caregiver feel less alone.

After a while, following the death of someone close to you, you begin to have moments and sometimes a few hours during which you feel absorbed in something pleasant, and “forget” to think about your loved one. Do you sometimes feel a pang of guilt when you’ve had a good time “without her/him?”  One antidote to feeling disloyal and guilty for feeling good for a change, is to imagine that your loved one is smiling down at you and cheering you on. That they’d approve of your enjoyment if they were still on this earth.Do any of you feel this way sometimes?

I am turning mute. It’s better said I was here, than left an impression taken the wrong way.I lost my grandpa on the same day I was going all-in with someone else to start a new family. But, …young hearts play games far too much. Keeping a vow, though, through a Yes means just as much to see how it could’ve worked out. For such an impression left, amounts the silence for an original thought. You know what it’s like to be baptized the day before your partner’s birth? You know how similar you two would be? – If only you met at the right time under different circumstances.  Money Talks 

Finding ways to safely move and socialize can be a good thing for our wellbeing. We lost our father in July, a good friend on Sept 2nd, and have a friend that is terminally ill. On one visit, I had her tossing a pickleball into her pockets of her walker and each time she got it in, she smiled. We were moving and socializing. I’m working on getting a new sport into all nursing homes, schools, and communities that can be played sitting and standing, inside and outside. How could the little tossing of a pickleball into pockets bring joy? Was it movement and socializing? It did create a happy memory... Stay strong!

We're glad you're here. Whether you're coping with the loss of a loved one, supporting someone who is grieving, or simply looking for a compassionate community that understands, this forum is a place to share, connect, and find support. Please remember that this is a public discussion forum. While we encourage open and meaningful conversations, we also want to help protect your privacy. When posting, please avoid sharing personal information such as: Home addresses Phone numbers Email addresses Financial information Medical record numbers Other sensitive personal details  Everyone's grief journey is unique, and we ask that all participants treat one another with kindness, empathy, and respect. You're Not Alone We're fortunate to have experienced professionals participating in this community: Amy Goyer (@agoyer), AARP's family caregiving expert, shares insights and resources for caregivers and individuals navigating life's transitions. Jane Cares (@JaneCares), a licensed soc

Disabled daughter living with parents is loosing her mind trying to grasp recent things! Mother just passed, father is very ill w/cancer and I am disabled! Need legal help to protect fathers rights, etc.  How does one help another if they are lost themselves? Since mothers death my health has gotten worse and my father refuses to let me help him, (gets angry and defensive)!  I feel responsible but not allowed any responsibility! Dont want to loose the house as he has worked so hard his entire life, but loss of finances due to mothers death has hit hard!  Anyone who can give any advice...please do! Open to all! iI know there is a God because He has carried me thus far, my faith remains! Thanks!

 This day is the one year anniversary of my husband's death.  It is a beautiful day, and I do wish it were cloudy and raining.  The last of the 'firsts'.  

Been thinking I do have enough time for myself but  Little going out,having fun and stuff like that Was more used to going out as a couple but since she passed it's all down  Just feel half as happy always