Please help me ...

[Monday 9/21/26 5:39pm ET]

ALWAYS so good having you stop by AARP Expert Amy ​@agoyer !!! WE APPRECIATE your "support" over the years.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

​@LarryW513754 I’m so sorry to hear of your terrible loss. I feel your heartbreak coming through your post. I know that grief after caregiving is especially intense when you’ve been so focused on caring for your wife - your whole life was wrapped around caring for her. My heart goes out to you. 

I urge you to consider that last thing you said to her not as a lie, but as comfort - you offered her comfort, and you held to your routine which was what she needed to hear. And truly, you were there for her. You stayed with her as long as you possible could, I’m sure, after she passed on. You held to your commitment, and I think she felt you there with her - that’s what really matters. Not the words. It’s the intention of loving her always. 

I know from my personal experience of losing family members after 11 years of caring for them, it takes awhile to wrap our minds around this type of deep loss. It’s very challenging to adjust and adapt to life being so different and feeling so empty. It can and will get easier - I promise - and I urge you to get some grief counseling and support if you haven’t already. It’s never too late to get grief support. The grief stays with us, but we learn to live with it and feel joy again. 

This article might be very helpful to you: Finding the Right Grief Support Group for Healing 

I also want to share this article: When Grief Lingers and Robs Life of Meaning, It’s Time to Get Help 

And I want to also share my column I wrote about life after caregiving and dealing with my grief - I hope it helps you to know that I empathize and that many people, me included, truly empathize with what you are feeling. My column shares how I worked to find purpose and meaning after caregiving for my Mom, Dad and sister.  Life After Caregiving: The Unexpected Beginning

I understand feeling lost. I felt “untethered” - free floating in space. It can get better.

And I also understand going over every moment and questioning what you did, said and the decisions you made. It’s ok. There are no perfect caregivers. Not a single one. We all lose our patience, we all get tired and overwhelmed. We have our own health and financial challenges to worry about. It’s a lot. Try to focus on your overall intentions - that’s what matters in the end. You loved your wife, you didn’t abandon her, and you did your best. That’s all any of us can do. Our best. 

Take care, 

Amy Goyer, AARP Natl. Family & Caregiving Expert 

[Tuesday 9/15/26]

Dear Larry ​@LarryW513754 , I am "thinking" about YOU!!!

How are you doing TODAY/TONIGHT?

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

[Thursday 9/10/26 8:07pm ET]

You are so welcome Rocky ​@Rocky818 !!!

➡️[*** ROCKY POSTED - Thank you!  I appreciate your feedback and it makes me feel better.  I just don’t fall for that stuff and it makes me sick how many people do fall for it.  It happens.  

[Wednesday 9/9/26 11:28pm ET]

Rocky ​@Rocky818 , she is looking for a luv connection.

And AARP has NOT responded to me several times asking how to block & report DISRESPECTFUL messages. Posted in their GENERAL HELP FORUM since Friday 9/4/26. TODAY it has been 5 DAYS of me being ignored. Wow!!!

I guess it is NOT a priority for them. 😤😤😤

Take care my friend,

Nicole 💛🤗

[Wednesday 9/2/26]

Yes, Rocky ​@Rocky818 , BE CAREFUL as we all need to be with anything "online".

We have scammers, perverts & folks seeking a luv connection.

Over the years I have had "bullies" (members who feel they own the AARP Community Board & not AARP).

The old Moderator we had "forever" retired in 2024 - miss him!!!

He showed me how to BLOCK AARP Private Messages (PMs) & how to report them.

Sadly I am NOT seeing this "option" on this NEW SITE!!! 🤔

Yes, that PM sounds "suspect" to me. Be careful my friend.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** ROCKY POSTED - 

Hello!  Thank you for the wonderful message!  

I agree.  I hope Larry is staying strong.  We sure do hope to hear from him sometime. 

I got a private message from someone asking me to elaborate more on a comment.  This is my first experience receiving a private message so I am not sure how comfortable I feel responding.  It seems like a general enough of a comment that it could have gone on here but I do not know.  

What are your thoughts about people sending private messages on here?  Thanks in advance for your advice or opinion on this.  I appreciate it! 

[Wednesday 9/2/26]

Hey Rocky ​@Rocky818 , SO GLAD you stopped by to see us!!!

Still HOPING our Larry ​@LarryW513754 is "hanging" in there & will one day stop by AGAIN to see us. 🤞

Meanwhile my friend, keep stepping 👣. EVERY "step" counts & gets us CLOSER to PEACE OF MIND.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** ROCKY POSTED - Hello to all of you!  I hope we are all well or staying as strong as we can be.  

Hello to all of you!  I hope we are all well or staying as strong as we can be.  

Larry, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's good your sharing how you're feeling here with those who understand. Every time you express yourself about your loss you'll leave a little here each time. This isn't an easy part of life. But we are getting through it. Remember that your sharing always helps someone else. Please take care!

Dear Larry,I am so sorry about your wife. I just found your post. I started crying. I feel so bad for you. I know that it is difficult to believe right now, but someday you will forgive yourself and remember all of the good times and the wonderful memories you shared. All of us here know that. We understand what you are going through. We have all been where you are. I recently lost my granddaughter in a terrible accident. My Mom and mother-in-law passed away last Fall. I lost my Dad to Cancer in 2015. Today would have been their 74th anniversary. I was thinking about them today and remembering all the great times we all shared. You did a great job. You are a good man. You took care of your wife until the end. She would not want you to feel guilty. She would want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong. We are all hear if you need someone to talk to and help you get through this terrible time. I am so very sorry for your loss. Take care. I will say a prayer for you. Goodnight.