loss of Dad

I lost my Dad on October 27, 2026.  He was alone when he passed away.  I am feeling unbearable sad tonight.  I feel like I let him down.  I wasn't with him last Thanksgiving or Christmas cause I had to work.  I missed his birthday party back in June.  I didn't know those were all going to be his last ones.  I feel soooo guilty and horrible.  I am single and live alone and don't have any close friends.  My two sisters have husbands to turn to and I have noone.  We laid him to rest last wednesday november 4.  I haven't cried since that day.  Tonight I am inconsolable from guilt and grief.  I have nowhere to turn in the middle of the night.