How to move forward after loss of my husband

[Sunday 11/1/26 10:46am ET]

Dear Karine ​@KarineS339786 , I am "thinking" about YOU!!!

How are you doing TODAY/TONIGHT?

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief & Loss Forum)

[Wednesday 10/28/26 10:03am ET]

Thank you SO MUCH AARP Expert Jane ​@JaneCares & AARP Jen ​@Jen for stopping by to "support" OUR Karine ​@KarineS339786 !!!

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief & Loss Forum)

Hello, KarineS. You write, “I am still asking the question why my husband and I have not been able to move forward.”  He has passed and you have “lost” him. I’m thinking perhaps that even though he is gone from your sight, you are still focussed on him. You thought he was being healed. 

You are grieving his passing acutely and deeply. The time that has passed is a mere 3 months. Which as you are experiencing, is a very brief time. Very brief.

After 51 years, and after “a long battle” of intense and loving caregiving, you are bereft. The intense grief is with you every day, hour, minute. Grief is very hard work. “Moving forward” is what you are already doing. You get out of bed, right? You have food in the fridge and bread on the counter? You are paying bills? You are moving forward. And if doing any of that is hard, yes, that is the effect of grief. If doing any of that is IMPOSSIBLE, then you could use some help from people who love you.

How are you functioning? 

Who else misses him? Did you have children together? If so, can you share any of this grief with him? Misery shared is misery halved. At least for a few moments. Did he have siblings? 

Grief is so isolating. But people who love you know that you love him still, and they can be present with you here and there, I hope?

I’m so sorry you are in this pain. I think the moving forward question gets answered in time, and it isn’t fast time. The first year is hardest. You are at the beginning of the first year.

Tell us more?

Thank you for sharing your grief with us.

Jane

Dear Karine ​@KarineS339786 , I am so sorry for your loss dear friend. It takes time to "process" grief and it is normal & okay to take time to cry, be sad and maybe even be angry. I lost my husband Verl to COVID May 22, 2022. Sudden & way too early in my opinion. Here I am at age 68 growing old without him. What has "helped" me & OUR "only" child is HONORING him with our memories of him. Just know with time, it will H URT less, but you will ALWAYS miss him. Individual Counseling "helped" me to figure out a way to COPE & MOVE FORWARD. I am so glad you stopped by to see us. And hope you will AGAIN.

Luv,.

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief & Loss Forum)

Hi ​@KarineS339786. 

I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband, John. After 51 years together and so much time devoted to caring for him, that is an enormous loss. Hoping he would recover doesn’t mean you failed him—it speaks to how deeply you wanted more time together.

AARP’s article, 5 Surprising Truths About Grief, explains that grief doesn’t follow neat stages; feelings can change from one day to the next. Please be gentle with yourself rather than feeling you should already be moving forward.

Thank you for sharing with us. If you feel comfortable, we’d love to hear more about John or a memory of your life together.