Conversationalist ⭐⭐⭐

Grieving Through the Holidays

Forum|Forum|5 years ago
December 14, 2020
21 replies
29311 views

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one (or a job, home, lifestyle, friend, ability...there are so many types of losses). This year, with the pandemic, grief is even more complex, and we are all likely grieving the loss of some of our treasured holiday traditions this year.

Regardless of the type of loss you are experiencing, grief is unique to everyone. There is no one right way to grieve. We all just need to do what feels right to us and try to have healthy outlets (like expressing yourself in this Online Community).

I originally wrote this column in 2012 after my niece died from suicide just after New Year's. That Christmas of 2012 was incredibly difficult for all of us. But I learned a lot. This year I've updated the column to reflect our current pandemic situation.

I hope some of my tips will help carry you through this season. Please share what you've learned in the comments below! Sending you peace and comfort this holiday season and throughout the year. ❤️

9 Tips for Dealing with Grief During the Holiday Season

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

Author, Juggling Life, Work and Caregiving

C

ChaviB814890rest

Community Manager

June 10, 2021

@agoyer sorry for your loss 😭 and thanks for tips.

agoyerAuthor

Conversationalist ⭐⭐⭐

@Anonymous thank you so much - and I hope the tips are helpful! I find that every holiday gets me still. My Dad died 3 yrs ago June 13th - and I still struggle with the grief for him and Mom and my sister and my niece. But I will say. that it's not as intense as it used to be. It does get easier in some ways. Take care...

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ChaviB814890rest

Community Manager

You are welcome @agoyer !!!! It is not just the holidays for me, it is when I have way too much time to think. That is when my tears start. I have learn't to let the crying session run its course and start my meltdown texts to my only child in Melbourne, Florida. I live in Cave Spring, Virginia but will be moving to Florida next year July 2022. The pandemic put my retirement plans on hold and rental prices are ridiculous. I retired last year July 2020 😀 Now to hope life is back to normal by then 🙄 Will miss the 4 seasons, and lol dreading my hot flashes in hot and humid Florida 🤣😂 But I need to move closer = easier end of life process for my sweet and loving daughter. I want to rent a Tiny House in Florida. Here in Virginia they are not zoned. I finally got to see and walk inside one a few years ago. Want one!!! And yes, your tips helped. Thank you 🤗

C

ChaviB814890rest

Community Manager

This is a very helpful post by @agoyer who is an AARP Expert. We chatted awhile here on the board a few days ago. Our chat is posted here.

agoyerAuthor

Conversationalist ⭐⭐⭐

@Anonymous thank you!!! Sending you a virtual hug 🙂

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CynthiaM250211

Contributor ⭐

Thank you for posting this. I loss my mom 10/29/21. She was my best friend

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teresap484045

Contributor ⭐

This is the first holiday without my mom and I don’t want to be around my family for some reason. I miss her apple pies, her smiling and talking about what she is going to shop for her grandchildren and great grandchildren. I’m the oldest daughter and born December 16, so close to Christmas that’s the best time for me, I always got 2 gifts in December.

Just as her birthday was May 15 and Mother’s Day in the same month she got 2 gifts as well. So I will visit my mom on Christmas Day and spend some time with her. That makes me happy

agoyerAuthor

Conversationalist ⭐⭐⭐

@teresap484045 I'm so sorry for your loss. The firsts are always the hardest. I'm glad you have made a plan and feel good about it. Do what brings you peace and moments of joy. And also allow yourself to change your mind or do whatever feels right to you on the holidays. Be gentle with yourself! Thank you for sharing about your mom's apple pie and her excitement about gifts for grandchildren etc. - keep sharing your memories of her, let people know it's ok to talk about her. Do things to honor her. You'll get through this! And it will get easier to manage over time, I promise. Right now, just one day at a time. Sending you a virtual hug! ❤️

C

ChaviB814890rest

Community Manager

1 comment (11/30/22) @agoyerI am so sorry for your loss! 😭Thank you for posting this "very helpful" material. Holidays are days I dread. Nicole

agoyerAuthor

Conversationalist ⭐⭐⭐

You're so welcome! I hope this year will be better for you. One moment at a time. Try to find things to bring you joy, even if they aren't related to the holidays.

Take care,

Amy

C

ChaviB814890rest

Community Manager

(1 comment) Written by one of AARP's Experts. I found it very "comforting" - thank you @agoyer 🤎🤗

agoyerAuthor

Conversationalist ⭐⭐⭐

I'm so glad you found it helpful!

SummerOnTheWay1

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

[8/27/25] We have a HOLIDAY arriving soon - Labor Day!!!

While other folks may be out SHOPPING and barbecuing, SOME OF US just donot want to "deal" with the holidays.

AARP Expert Amy @agoyer has WALKED IN OUR SHOES & has dropped by with a "link" to her AARP Article that has TONS of comfort & tips.

Maybe it may help you my friends SURVIVE this upcoming holiday. It did for me EVERY YEAR. Thank you Amy for supporting us!!!

Luv,

Nicole. ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌ (Grief Forum)

agoyerAuthor

Conversationalist ⭐⭐⭐

@SummerOnTheWay1 Thank you for bumping this up! Holidays can be so hard when caregiving - feeling left out of celebrations and missing our life before caregiving. I've found that it helps me to create a celebration anyway - watch good movies, make a special meal, create a NEW tradition when old traditions just won't work this year!!!

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

SummerOnTheWay1

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

[Wednesday 5/20/26]

Well guys, Monday is another "dreaded" HOLIDAY for some of us.

Over the years we "bump" this post up during the HOLIDAY SEASON(S).

This article by our AARP Expert Amy @agoyer is a great "resource" for Monday (Memorial Day).

➡️[*** Ways to cope and find comfort while honoring your loved ones.

By Amy Goyer, AARP. Updated November 26, 2025.

FROM HER ARTICLE ONLINE (she has included the LINK to article in her post in this AARP Grief & Loss Forum).

Grieving the loss of a loved one is a deep and difficult challenge at any time. The holiday season can magnify our sense of loss and sorrow. Seasonal events can be painful reminders of the absence of loved ones. At the same time, they can also be comforting rituals that allow us to connect with family and friends, focusing on good memories and trying to recapture our sense of joy.

If you are mourning the loss of loved ones this season, consider the following.

➡️[*** List is in her "online" article.

Please keep in mind, she is ALWAYS available to discuss her post & article.

Thank you SO MUCH Amy & Jane @JaneCares (another AARP Expert) for supporting Our Group. 💛🤗

JaneCares

Conversationalist ⭐⭐⭐

Thank you for acknowledging the upcoming holiday, Summer. You are so thoughtful. For grieving people who feel so invisible and sad, this kind of kind attention is so helpful.

Perhaps one thing grieving people can do is remember their loved one by raising a glass to their memory and engaging in one activity they used to do with their loved one. Or simply recalling a good memory, writing it in a journal, reliving the joy. Remembrance is painful and also healing, I think.

Here's to resilience, kindness and love that help to bind up the broken hearted.

Jane

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