Caregiving

We're glad you're here. Whether you're caring for a spouse, parent, family member, friend, or planning for future caregiving needs, AARP Caregiving Connect is a place to ask questions, share experiences, exchange advice, and connect with others who understand the caregiving journey. Before You Post Please remember that this is a public discussion forum. To help protect your privacy and the privacy of those you care for, please avoid sharing personal information such as: Home addresses Phone numbers Email addresses Financial information Insurance or policy numbers Medical record numbers Other sensitive personal details  When discussing caregiving situations, consider limiting details that could identify you or your loved one. You're Not Alone Caregiving can be rewarding, challenging, emotional, and sometimes overwhelming. This community brings together caregivers from diverse backgrounds and experiences who are willing to share what they've learned and offer support along th

We're glad you're here. Whether you're coping with the loss of a loved one, supporting someone who is grieving, or simply looking for a compassionate community that understands, this forum is a place to share, connect, and find support. Please remember that this is a public discussion forum. While we encourage open and meaningful conversations, we also want to help protect your privacy. When posting, please avoid sharing personal information such as: Home addresses Phone numbers Email addresses Financial information Medical record numbers Other sensitive personal details  Everyone's grief journey is unique, and we ask that all participants treat one another with kindness, empathy, and respect. You're Not Alone We're fortunate to have experienced professionals participating in this community: Amy Goyer (@agoyer), AARP's family caregiving expert, shares insights and resources for caregivers and individuals navigating life's transitions. Jane Cares (@JaneCares), a licensed soc

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days]. To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again. Grief & Loss Team  🤗

Date: THURSDAY Aug 6, 2026. Time: 11:30am - 1:00pm ET. Location: Virtual. USE LINK BELOW TO REGISTER. https://www.aarp.org/events/details.what-to-say-and-not-say-to-the-grieving.6NNSCFJFRJF

Date: THURSDAY Aug 20, 2026. Time: 11:30am - 1:00pm ET. USE LINK BELOW TO REGISTER. https://www.aarp.org/events/details.men-and-grief-supporting-men-through-loss.ncn4l8r73jp 

II am attending a grief workshop thru my church for six weeks.  I also attended a 4 week similar workshop in the Fall but this one uses a very good book on grief as a guide for discussion and also includes a journal to write thoughts.  The bottom line seems to be that everyone has their own grief journey to make and whatever you are feeling at a certain time of day or night is perfectly legitimate.  One of my sons said to me that in the spring and summer it will be easier because then I'll be outside gardening and doing yardwork.  That's true.  It has been a long sometimes dreary winter but that doesn't change the fact that I will still be by myself puttering around in the yard and remembering the flower beds he made for me and the deck on the porch.  It kinds of stabs me in the heart.  I continue to cycle thru these first holidays and it isn't that easy but what is the alternative? I have alot to look forward to also. Thanks for letting me share some

Disabled daughter living with parents is loosing her mind trying to grasp recent things! Mother just passed, father is very ill w/cancer and I am disabled! Need legal help to protect fathers rights, etc.  How does one help another if they are lost themselves? Since mothers death my health has gotten worse and my father refuses to let me help him, (gets angry and defensive)!  I feel responsible but not allowed any responsibility! Dont want to loose the house as he has worked so hard his entire life, but loss of finances due to mothers death has hit hard!  Anyone who can give any advice...please do! Open to all! iI know there is a God because He has carried me thus far, my faith remains! Thanks!

Hi, I am brand new to reaching out in forums to find answers.  About a year ago we found my 56 year old sister dead, she appeared to have just passed away in her sleep.  She had not been answering her phone or her text for like 18 hours so me, my husband, and her best friend headed over to her house because something was definitely wrong.  I had the spare key so I went in first and found her dead, laying in bed, like she was just watching television.  I did call 911 right away and they sent a squad over right away.  After taking in the scene and interviewing us, he did call the Medical Examiner who also responded to the scene as well.  Because there was no apparent cause of death, he ordered her to be taken to the Medical Examiners Office for an autopsy.  Long story short her cause of death appears to be from an accidental acute mixture of prescription drugs.  We also discovered that she had polycystic kidney and polycystic liver disease.  N

 I am feeling so lonely since my husband passed away.  The house is so silent.  I'm trying to do things with friends, but even when I am laughing with them, inside I feel like crying.  I feel so empty inside!  😞 

My college roommate was my roommate for life- found we were cousins, I was her caregiver for 28 years after a devastating car accident . Hit from behind by govt van. Weasley lawyer ( he looked like a weasel) got him off. She died 6/7/2024. I’m now along for the first time in my life. I’m 74 and quite alone. No family nearby. Still trying to navigate isolation, silence, boredom. I miss her so much, but she is hale and healthy now and I will see her again. 

Hi everyone.  I lost my dad Thanksgiving weekend.  He and I did everything together--we were gym buddies for 27 years (our last workout together was one year and 3 days before he passed).  We shared lots of hobbies: antique cars, Civil War history, etc.  It's been very difficult. The worst is when something unexpectedly reminds you.  I was at the dentist the other day when the song "Everything I Own" by Bread came on.  It was just awful!  Especially since I distinctly remember when I was a child and my dad explained to me that David Gates wrote that song when his own father died. It looks like you have some great resources here, and I've already signed up for a webinar. Thanks, Dana

Thursday 7/2 at 11:16 AM I lost mt wife of 40 years. I was her caretaker for 16 years. I worked as well during most of that. To get her to relax I promised her I would hold her hand until she was out and that I'd be there when she woke up. She never woke up. The last promise I made to her was a lie and I have to live with that.  I have spent the last 54 hours reliving every time I raised my voice at her.  I am a ;ost soul.

 This day is the one year anniversary of my husband's death.  It is a beautiful day, and I do wish it were cloudy and raining.  The last of the 'firsts'.  

It’s been 15 months since my husband of 50+ years  died and it’s been worst than the first few months were. How do I ever move on?

I LOSS MY 24 year old daughter 16 years ago but still feels like yesterday..was hoping for a group that understands and be there for each other

Been thinking I do have enough time for myself but  Little going out,having fun and stuff like that Was more used to going out as a couple but since she passed it's all down  Just feel half as happy always 

I am looking for ways to get a break from care giving. what options have you found available, and affordable? 

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! How a Spouse’s Death Can Affect Your Credit Score. Survivor’s credit can take a hit, especially if late partner handled the couple’s money. By Jon Marcus, AARP. Published September 17, 2024. Soon after Dolores Tighe’s husband died in December 2023, her grief began to be punctuated by letters from banks and calls from strangers asking questions about her finances. Tighe, 78, threw away the letters and hung up on the callers. “I honestly didn’t know who they were,” she says. “And I didn’t want to give out information on the phone." https://www.aarp.org/money/budgeting-saving/info-2024/spouse-death-credit-impact.html

FROM THE ARTICLE. Here's Everything You Need to Do When a Loved One Dies. Practical steps you need to take in the early days. By Leanne Potts, AARP. Updated May 07, 2026. When people die, they leave behind a life that must be legally and administratively closed out. The funeral must be planned, bank accounts closed, pets placed in new homes, final bills paid. When someone you love dies, the job of handling those personal and legal details may fall to you. It’s a stressful, bureaucratic task that can take months to several years to complete, all while you are grieving. USE LINK BELOW TO READ ARTICLE. https://www.aarp.org/family-relationships/when-loved-one-dies-checklist/

FROM THE ARTICLE. From therapy to AI tools to ‘deleting’ memories, Cody Delistraty reflects on the lengths one can go to to move forward. By Laura Petrecca, AARP. Published June 25, 2024. Like many of us, Cody Delistraty knows the heart-wrenching devastation of losing someone you love. When he was 21, his mother, Jema Delistraty, died from melanoma. During her illness, Delistraty thought, If I can be really good in my studies, really good at athletics, just really good at something, then I could somehow save my mom. And after she died, he expanded that pressure on himself, thinking, I have to be a good griever now. “What that meant to me, through the received wisdom of growing up in the U.S., was to keep it quiet and work hard to get to this construct of closure,” he says. “That didn’t work.” USE LINK BELOW TO READ THE ARTICLE. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/the-grief-cure/

FROM THE ARTICLE.  Experts share insights on choosing the best national or local community for comfort after your loss. By Sharon Jayson, AARP. Published October 10, 2025. Navigating the territory of bereavement and grief can be overwhelming amid daily life demands. For those in the throes of mourning and lingering sadness, a support group may help ease the pain and provide some comfort. And those who have made grief their life’s work say finding the right group makes all the difference. It’s important to look for grief support that will not necessarily make you feel better, but makes you feel understood,” says Mary Lamia, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Marin County, California. “It’s not about getting over it, but continuing to live with it. Then it’s a good support group. Understanding grief. Grief is defined as an individual’s emotional response to loss. The American Psychological Association (APA) defines it as “the anguish ex

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! What to Post (and Not) on Social Media When You’re Grieving. How much is too much to share when you’re dealing with loss or comforting a friend? By Robin L. Flanigan, AARP. Published August 30, 2024. The 65-year-old artist from Charlottesville, Virginia, did what many do when grieving a loss. She turned to social media to share thoughts and feelings that are difficult, raw, and complicated. “Without social media to air my grief,” says DeVito, who was married to her husband, Damon, for 28 years, “I think I would’ve been a lot more isolated." https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2024/death-grief-on-social-media.html

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! Criminals pretend to be the power company. By AARP. Published May 10, 2024. Lorraine is grieving her father when she receives a letter claiming to be from Florida Power & Light notifying her to contact them. A ▶️*** kind ***◀️ "operator" named Anna walks her through the process of switching the account from her father to setting up a new one in her name and paying a deposit. A few weeks later, a notice from the real Florida Power & Light arrives in Lorraine’s mailbox and she realizes Anna wasn’t who she said she was. The criminals have gotten away with the $300 deposit, and the information they have stolen is much more valuable. https://www.aarp.org/podcasts/the-perfect-scam/info-2024/utility-bill-grieving-family.html

I just took your quiz "Quiz: Caring for Someone With Dementia" and it made me think. My wife passed away with Lewy Body Dementia and I was wondering if you could maybe do a piece on the different forms of dementia. Also would one "cure" work with all types? We hear of Alzheimer's all the time but very little on other forms. 

I know some people would look at this question and immediately think of the 'grief' connected to the passing of a loved one, but I am asking about the grief that comes with losing your independence due to medical conditions. How does one manage knowing they are losing their sense of self and what their life was vs to what it has become?