Do you feel DISLOYAL to the one who is no longer with you, when you feel yourself moving on?

Question

After a while, following the death of someone close to you, you begin to have moments and sometimes a few hours during which you feel absorbed in something pleasant, and “forget” to think about your loved one. Do you sometimes feel a pang of guilt when you’ve had a good time “without her/him?”

One antidote to feeling disloyal and guilty for feeling good for a change, is to imagine that your loved one is smiling down at you and cheering you on. That they’d approve of your enjoyment if they were still on this earth.

Do any of you feel this way sometimes?

SereneSeagull · Answer

​@JaneCaresYes, that’s the only way for me. My loved ones would not want me to be sad and not live in the moment. They wouldn’t want me to feel guilty for smiling or laughing, even though they were gone. A bit after a family member’s death, a person from my gym came up to me, surprised that I had come back already, and was there. I wanted to dance and feel whole, and that gives me joy.I guess they thought I should be home mourning. My loved ones would want me to feel happiness and smile, not always feeling sad. So that’s what picks me up. Allowing myself to be ok, to be happy and feel joy and not feel guilty, because I know my loved ones would be ok with that. 👍

Do you feel DISLOYAL to the one who is no longer with you, when you feel yourself moving on?

1 reply

@JaneCares Yes, that’s the only way for me. My loved ones would not want me to be sad and not live in the moment. They wouldn’t want me to feel guilty for smiling or laughing, even though they were gone.

​@JaneCares Yes, that’s the only way for me. My loved ones would not want me to be sad and not live in the moment. They wouldn’t want me to feel guilty for smiling or laughing, even though they were gone.

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@JaneCares Yes, that’s the only way for me. My loved ones would not want me to be sad and not live in the moment. They wouldn’t want me to feel guilty for smiling or laughing, even though they were gone.