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[5/28/26] Dear Dana @DanaInPA , so sorry about your loss dear friend!!!

Oh yes, those "songs" - do I know that well. I had stopped listening to the radio for about a year. Just could NOT deal with "certain" songs.

SO GLAD you "signed" up for a Webinar. AARP does SO MUCH to "support" grievers. 👍

I hope you will stop by again.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

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➡️[*** DANA @DanaInPA wrote:

Hi everyone.  I lost my dad Thanksgiving weekend.  He and I did everything together--we were gym buddies for 27 years (our last workout together was one year and 3 days before he passed).  We shared lots of hobbies: antique cars, Civil War history, etc.  It's been very difficult.

 

The worst is when something unexpectedly reminds you.  I was at the dentist the other day when the song "Everything I Own" by Bread came on.  It was just awful!  Especially since I distinctly remember when I was a child and my dad explained to me that David Gates wrote that song when his own father died.

 

It looks like you have some great resources here, and I've already signed up for a webinar.

 

Thanks, 

Dana

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Hello, Dana, and welcome! Being grief-stricken is not a club any one wants to be a member of, but here we are. I loved reading about how close you were with your dad. That's marvelous! What a gift to you both!  I wonder if my father would have enjoyed going to the gym with me? My guess is, he'd join if the personal trainers were cute and female. Oy vey. He's has passed on to the great comfy gym in the sky, where he can watch Patton on endless rerun, and drink Mountain Dew all he wants. Me, I've downgraded from Downtown Athletic Club (180/month for 2 senior citizens) to Planet Fitness ($10/month.) 

The grief is deep, isn't it. Like a limb has been amputated. The heaviness and piercing sorrow seems to stay so very long, although the bouts, the waves of it, seem further apart after a looooong while. 

I developed so much more compassion for people when I was in an actively grieving state, because i realized I put on a mask to hide the pain, and sometimes shades to hide the puffy eyes, and i can see that other people are stiff or avoidant and it might be because they are grieving. Have you found this to be true of you?

What would honor your father and your loving relationship that you can do every day, or once in a while?

Perhaps I should watch Patton again.

welcome, and virtual hugs,

Jane

Hi @DanaInPA , it’s a gut punch.  I had a hard time looking at photos, whereas another family member was comforted tremendously by them.  Music can be a moment in time that brings a flood of memories back.  I’m just now able to watch medical tv shows, but sometimes it can bring harrowing memories back.  Our emotions are a hell of a thing with grief triggers.  Sorry for your loss.  It’s hard, but it does get better.  One step and day at a time.  👍

So sorry for your loss. It sounds like you and your dad were incredibly close and it is those surprising little moments that are sometimes the most difficult.

Thinking of you as your journey this sadness and am happy you have this supportive community to turn to.