Caregiving

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! Criminals pretend to be the power company. By AARP. Published May 10, 2024. Lorraine is grieving her father when she receives a letter claiming to be from Florida Power & Light notifying her to contact them. A ▶️*** kind ***◀️ "operator" named Anna walks her through the process of switching the account from her father to setting up a new one in her name and paying a deposit. A few weeks later, a notice from the real Florida Power & Light arrives in Lorraine’s mailbox and she realizes Anna wasn’t who she said she was. The criminals have gotten away with the $300 deposit, and the information they have stolen is much more valuable. https://www.aarp.org/podcasts/the-perfect-scam/info-2024/utility-bill-grieving-family.html

I just took your quiz "Quiz: Caring for Someone With Dementia" and it made me think. My wife passed away with Lewy Body Dementia and I was wondering if you could maybe do a piece on the different forms of dementia. Also would one "cure" work with all types? We hear of Alzheimer's all the time but very little on other forms. 

I know some people would look at this question and immediately think of the 'grief' connected to the passing of a loved one, but I am asking about the grief that comes with losing your independence due to medical conditions. How does one manage knowing they are losing their sense of self and what their life was vs to what it has become?

Mom fights me every step of the way.  currently in transition from broken hip, in rehab but insurance says she's discharged.  Made it 3 hours at home and took her back (not covered) due to home phone disconnected and she insisted there is no password on her cell phone so that gets disabled every time she tries to dial out for 16 hours now, could not leave her alone. Taking her to find a new general doctor this morning, her previous one died 2 months ago and she didn't tell us.  She was independent before the last fall but has become worse in the hospital/rehab for a month.  Continues to argue about everything and insists she "can do it herself". As an added complication, we have never really gotten along.  When taking her back to rehab it was a prolonged screaming event.  My husband and I are struggling.

After being married 49 years and 9 months, my husband passed away.  He went in for pre-op testing because he was having a second knee replacement done.  They found two blocked arteries - one was 95% and the other 80% plus he had an aneurysm by his heart.  He needed open heart surgery.  The doctor was very confident and didn't foresee any complications.  Unfortunately, people are not always right.  My husband was bleeding and he wouldn't clot.  I still don't really know what that means except that he is no longer with me.I feel so alone even though I have a daughter.  She has her own family to worry about.  I have a brother in law and sister in law who try helping me whenever they can.  My friends are there to listen, but have their own lives.I just cry and cry.  I know he wouldn't want me to be doing this, but I'm just so sad.  I miss him.

Morning, It is so nice to know AARP has a group I can connect with in this time of need. Thank you, Deborah D Carter

My losses occurred many years ago, but I find myself still struggling, especially during this time of the year, which is supposed to be happy and cheerful. My favorite brother died suddenly in 1990; he would have been 68 years old on December 3rd. I lost my mother on December 12, 2004. Her death was sudden and unexpected, and she literally died in my arms. My only sister committed suicide on December 21, 2012. There is no doubt that  I have been traumatized by these losses. I need to know that I’m not alone with the tremendous sadness that threatens to engulf me.

Hello my name is Tina I'm 62. I was married to a wonderful man. In December of 2019 he started with a single cloth and for the next year he went through a battery of tests. he was put on inhaler because they found out he had lesions scarring basically in both his lungs never got any better but worse. He ended up an oxygen and got extremely worse at one point during the height of covid. I had a call 911 cuz he could not get any Oxygen his pulse socks auction in his system was 54 he was gray he end up in the hospital with double long pneumonia and a blood clot in his left lung that is when he found out that he needed a lung transplant. That was an extremely scary time and I thought for sure I'd be losing him and I almost did. He was o negative in his blood and for the most right he can give blood because anyone can use it when it comes to a transplant it's one of the most difficult ones because you have to have the same blood type otherwise it just wouldn't work and June of 2020 he got a

I lost my husband of 55 years April 2nd.  I’m lost, he was my everything.  We did everything together.We have two great adult kids, 3 beautiful granddaughters and a 9 month old great grandson.They have their lives, which is what we always wanted,…I just need someone to chat with.  Tell them how wonderful he is,…share memories,…‘Help me maybe get through another day without him…

Just seeing how everyone else moves on after losing your best friend, the father of your Cullen,  your spouse. Been 11 years and I can't seem find the way. (If anyone take a moment respond is be very grateful.  If not i totalitarian get it)  Happy Hokkaido.    At least TRY HAVE HAPPY HOLIDAY 😊 🤗 XOXO 

 The first of Oct. this year, I lost one of my dearest and closest friends. I just would like to know if there are any of you out there who feel like the Holidays this year are a little hard to get excited about. Sincerely, Jill

My brother passed after decades of MS. He put up a good fight but he left us on Dec. 27th I am currently looking for a bereavement group in my community. 

My 92 year old dad died 8/2 after a brief but painful battle with cancer. On 8/3, I discovered that my cousin had been financially abusing him since February when he started using drugs again. I'm finding it very difficult to grieve for my dad when I now have to file a police report, report the abuse to the state, file disputes with the credit union, etc. I am devastated by the betrayal. My dad was exceedingly kind to my cousin and he took advantage of him. 

   I lost my Father last year and I miss him, but it is complicated. He was 88 years old and died from some kind of infection in a hospital. Unfortunately due to timing and distance I was not able to be there when it happened. It was the same with my mother as far as not being able to see here pass. I know that in his own way that my father loved me. He was a good provider and he took care of what needed to be taken care of. He taught me a lot of life lessons along the way. My dad was quite frugal so we did not go things like ball games, but we did go fishing and camping. I loved my father but we he was not one to show affection toward his children which I am pretty sure he got from his father who was somewhat more strict than my father was. He had anger issues apparently because his father did  not show him much love. I know that I cant blame my father for being how he was because it was what his father showed him. He was kinder than my Grandfather. My father has 3 sist

  I need some advice for the next steps after my husband died.  It has been 3 months and we had a trust.  It is now just one trustee and 3 adult children as beneficiaries,  Do I need to do anything now or can the beneficiaries handle when I pass.

And the baby girl three older brothers two of them died last year I have one left and I'm the baby girl he had a stroke we almost lost him I didn't get to see my other two brothers before they died, okay I dyed myself three times in the last four years when was brought back God has a purpose for me 68 years old I live in Nevada. I also just a month ago lost my daughter's father he was found dead in the middle of the crosswalk. Of course my mom my dad my husband made 2016 he met all night so I lost him five years before I lost him.Sometimes I pray at night but God to take me but I live in that independent home with eight others.Last year I lost my doggie, Ginger. She was 13 years old deaf and blind and I was sick and would she of course just absorbed my pain. We adopted her for my husband for when I would go to do my volunteer work. I moved up to Ely Nevada for 2 years, and got her a kitten pure black his name is pepper, and he was her seeing eye 🐈 I can't have pets too so a friend of

Hello,Is there a central Arkansas grief group? I saw a Community in North Arkansas but that's too far. Any info will be helpful. Thx.

Mom's 82 and lives a few hours away. She's mostly independent so I didn't see this coming, but the admin side of her life has slowly become a part-time job for me. This week alone I've spent an hour on hold with her supplemental insurance about a denied claim I still don't fully understand, two Medicare letters I had to read three times before I could explain them to her, a prescription that ran out because nobody at the pharmacy seemed to know whose job the refill was and a specialist referral that's been sitting in my inbox because I haven't had a clear hour to deal with it.I don't mind doing it. I just feel constantly behind and keep worrying I'm missing something important.How do other people manage this? I tried a shared calendar with my brother but it just became another thing I have to update. Genuinely curious what's worked for you.

How did you find a social life after your world was turned upside down by the loss of your spouse?  Everything is so different NOW!

I lost my husband August 1 of this year (2025). We were married 37 years almost 38 when he had a massive stroke and passed away about 42 hours later. It’s hard to understand how a person can be so healthy and full of life one day and gone the next with no sign, no warning.  It’s just unfathomable.  he just had his 64th birthday, and was laughing making everybody else giggle at his comment, next year I get to go file for Social Security. A week later he was gone. I don’t know what doing. I’m tired of putting on a brave face. I feel like I’m masquerading in somebody else’s body, wondering when I’m going to return to normal, if there is such a thing. This year has been tough, I’ve lost the love of my life, and three jobs which filled some voids where he is missing. I’m just wondering if there’s anybody else out there that’s like me who has some words of wisdom that they can share?

How do you deal with the grief and the process of disposing of my parent's furniture and other possessions from their apartment?

Anyone else has "thoughts" on this topic?

My family is struggling to find short-term respite care for a loved one, and it’s been emotionally exhausting. We want care that’s safe, kind, and trustworthy, but it’s hard to know where to turn or what to look for. I’d really appreciate your suggestions or advice

Hi, I've been caring for my dad since my mom passed 3 years ago. I've come to the emotional and difficult decision that I need to put some things in place for us. Live in Chicago and looking for a lawyer to handle securing finances, medical and financial POAs, as well as advice for dealing with getting him set up in the future for applying for Medicaid.

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one (or a job, home, lifestyle, friend, ability...there are so many types of losses). This year, with the pandemic, grief is even more complex, and we are all likely grieving the loss of some of our treasured holiday traditions this year.  Regardless of the type of loss you are experiencing, grief is unique to everyone. There is no one right way to grieve. We all just need to do what feels right to us and try to have healthy outlets (like expressing yourself in this Online Community).  I originally wrote this column in 2012 after my niece died from suicide just after New Year's. That Christmas of 2012 was incredibly difficult for all of us. But I learned a lot. This year I've updated the column to reflect our current pandemic situation.  I hope some of my tips will help carry you through this season. Please share what you've learned in the comments below! Sending you peace and comfort this holiday season and throughout the year.