Caregiving

New here, I am my husband’s caretaker, he has advanced Parkinsons.  We have been married 52 years, both retired.  Most difficult is I never get to have ‘me’ time and worry what will I do if he gets bed bound.  Uses rollator in home very slowly and wheelchair away from home.

I am looking for ways to get a break from care giving. what options have you found available, and affordable? 

I am turning mute. It’s better said I was here, than left an impression taken the wrong way.I lost my grandpa on the same day I was going all-in with someone else to start a new family. But, …young hearts play games far too much. Keeping a vow, though, through a Yes means just as much to see how it could’ve worked out. For such an impression left, amounts the silence for an original thought. You know what it’s like to be baptized the day before your partner’s birth? You know how similar you two would be? – If only you met at the right time under different circumstances.  Money Talks 

Finding ways to safely move and socialize can be a good thing for our wellbeing. We lost our father in July, a good friend on Sept 2nd, and have a friend that is terminally ill. On one visit, I had her tossing a pickleball into her pockets of her walker and each time she got it in, she smiled. We were moving and socializing. I’m working on getting a new sport into all nursing homes, schools, and communities that can be played sitting and standing, inside and outside. How could the little tossing of a pickleball into pockets bring joy? Was it movement and socializing? It did create a happy memory... Stay strong!

One of the biggest struggles families face is knowing when it’s time to seek more support. Many wait until a crisis happens before exploring senior care options, which can make decisions feel rushed and emotional. As an Adult Family Home provider, I’ve seen how much peace of mind comes from planning early and understanding the different levels of care available. ❤️

We're glad you're here. Whether you're caring for a spouse, parent, family member, friend, or planning for future caregiving needs, AARP Caregiving Connect is a place to ask questions, share experiences, exchange advice, and connect with others who understand the caregiving journey. Before You Post Please remember that this is a public discussion forum. To help protect your privacy and the privacy of those you care for, please avoid sharing personal information such as: Home addresses Phone numbers Email addresses Financial information Insurance or policy numbers Medical record numbers Other sensitive personal details  When discussing caregiving situations, consider limiting details that could identify you or your loved one. You're Not Alone Caregiving can be rewarding, challenging, emotional, and sometimes overwhelming. This community brings together caregivers from diverse backgrounds and experiences who are willing to share what they've learned and offer support along th

We're glad you're here. Whether you're coping with the loss of a loved one, supporting someone who is grieving, or simply looking for a compassionate community that understands, this forum is a place to share, connect, and find support. Please remember that this is a public discussion forum. While we encourage open and meaningful conversations, we also want to help protect your privacy. When posting, please avoid sharing personal information such as: Home addresses Phone numbers Email addresses Financial information Medical record numbers Other sensitive personal details  Everyone's grief journey is unique, and we ask that all participants treat one another with kindness, empathy, and respect. You're Not Alone We're fortunate to have experienced professionals participating in this community: Amy Goyer (@agoyer), AARP's family caregiving expert, shares insights and resources for caregivers and individuals navigating life's transitions. Jane Cares (@JaneCares), a licensed soc

Disabled daughter living with parents is loosing her mind trying to grasp recent things! Mother just passed, father is very ill w/cancer and I am disabled! Need legal help to protect fathers rights, etc.  How does one help another if they are lost themselves? Since mothers death my health has gotten worse and my father refuses to let me help him, (gets angry and defensive)!  I feel responsible but not allowed any responsibility! Dont want to loose the house as he has worked so hard his entire life, but loss of finances due to mothers death has hit hard!  Anyone who can give any advice...please do! Open to all! iI know there is a God because He has carried me thus far, my faith remains! Thanks!

 This day is the one year anniversary of my husband's death.  It is a beautiful day, and I do wish it were cloudy and raining.  The last of the 'firsts'.  

Been thinking I do have enough time for myself but  Little going out,having fun and stuff like that Was more used to going out as a couple but since she passed it's all down  Just feel half as happy always 

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! How a Spouse’s Death Can Affect Your Credit Score. Survivor’s credit can take a hit, especially if late partner handled the couple’s money. By Jon Marcus, AARP. Published September 17, 2024. Soon after Dolores Tighe’s husband died in December 2023, her grief began to be punctuated by letters from banks and calls from strangers asking questions about her finances. Tighe, 78, threw away the letters and hung up on the callers. “I honestly didn’t know who they were,” she says. “And I didn’t want to give out information on the phone." https://www.aarp.org/money/budgeting-saving/info-2024/spouse-death-credit-impact.html

FROM THE ARTICLE. Here's Everything You Need to Do When a Loved One Dies. Practical steps you need to take in the early days. By Leanne Potts, AARP. Updated May 07, 2026. When people die, they leave behind a life that must be legally and administratively closed out. The funeral must be planned, bank accounts closed, pets placed in new homes, final bills paid. When someone you love dies, the job of handling those personal and legal details may fall to you. It’s a stressful, bureaucratic task that can take months to several years to complete, all while you are grieving. USE LINK BELOW TO READ ARTICLE. https://www.aarp.org/family-relationships/when-loved-one-dies-checklist/

FROM THE ARTICLE. From therapy to AI tools to ‘deleting’ memories, Cody Delistraty reflects on the lengths one can go to to move forward. By Laura Petrecca, AARP. Published June 25, 2024. Like many of us, Cody Delistraty knows the heart-wrenching devastation of losing someone you love. When he was 21, his mother, Jema Delistraty, died from melanoma. During her illness, Delistraty thought, If I can be really good in my studies, really good at athletics, just really good at something, then I could somehow save my mom. And after she died, he expanded that pressure on himself, thinking, I have to be a good griever now. “What that meant to me, through the received wisdom of growing up in the U.S., was to keep it quiet and work hard to get to this construct of closure,” he says. “That didn’t work.” USE LINK BELOW TO READ THE ARTICLE. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/the-grief-cure/

FROM THE ARTICLE.  Experts share insights on choosing the best national or local community for comfort after your loss. By Sharon Jayson, AARP. Published October 10, 2025. Navigating the territory of bereavement and grief can be overwhelming amid daily life demands. For those in the throes of mourning and lingering sadness, a support group may help ease the pain and provide some comfort. And those who have made grief their life’s work say finding the right group makes all the difference. It’s important to look for grief support that will not necessarily make you feel better, but makes you feel understood,” says Mary Lamia, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Marin County, California. “It’s not about getting over it, but continuing to live with it. Then it’s a good support group. Understanding grief. Grief is defined as an individual’s emotional response to loss. The American Psychological Association (APA) defines it as “the anguish ex

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! What to Post (and Not) on Social Media When You’re Grieving. How much is too much to share when you’re dealing with loss or comforting a friend? By Robin L. Flanigan, AARP. Published August 30, 2024. The 65-year-old artist from Charlottesville, Virginia, did what many do when grieving a loss. She turned to social media to share thoughts and feelings that are difficult, raw, and complicated. “Without social media to air my grief,” says DeVito, who was married to her husband, Damon, for 28 years, “I think I would’ve been a lot more isolated." https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2024/death-grief-on-social-media.html

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! Criminals pretend to be the power company. By AARP. Published May 10, 2024. Lorraine is grieving her father when she receives a letter claiming to be from Florida Power & Light notifying her to contact them. A ▶️*** kind ***◀️ "operator" named Anna walks her through the process of switching the account from her father to setting up a new one in her name and paying a deposit. A few weeks later, a notice from the real Florida Power & Light arrives in Lorraine’s mailbox and she realizes Anna wasn’t who she said she was. The criminals have gotten away with the $300 deposit, and the information they have stolen is much more valuable. https://www.aarp.org/podcasts/the-perfect-scam/info-2024/utility-bill-grieving-family.html

Mom fights me every step of the way.  currently in transition from broken hip, in rehab but insurance says she's discharged.  Made it 3 hours at home and took her back (not covered) due to home phone disconnected and she insisted there is no password on her cell phone so that gets disabled every time she tries to dial out for 16 hours now, could not leave her alone. Taking her to find a new general doctor this morning, her previous one died 2 months ago and she didn't tell us.  She was independent before the last fall but has become worse in the hospital/rehab for a month.  Continues to argue about everything and insists she "can do it herself". As an added complication, we have never really gotten along.  When taking her back to rehab it was a prolonged screaming event.  My husband and I are struggling.

After being married 49 years and 9 months, my husband passed away.  He went in for pre-op testing because he was having a second knee replacement done.  They found two blocked arteries - one was 95% and the other 80% plus he had an aneurysm by his heart.  He needed open heart surgery.  The doctor was very confident and didn't foresee any complications.  Unfortunately, people are not always right.  My husband was bleeding and he wouldn't clot.  I still don't really know what that means except that he is no longer with me.I feel so alone even though I have a daughter.  She has her own family to worry about.  I have a brother in law and sister in law who try helping me whenever they can.  My friends are there to listen, but have their own lives.I just cry and cry.  I know he wouldn't want me to be doing this, but I'm just so sad.  I miss him.

My losses occurred many years ago, but I find myself still struggling, especially during this time of the year, which is supposed to be happy and cheerful. My favorite brother died suddenly in 1990; he would have been 68 years old on December 3rd. I lost my mother on December 12, 2004. Her death was sudden and unexpected, and she literally died in my arms. My only sister committed suicide on December 21, 2012. There is no doubt that  I have been traumatized by these losses. I need to know that I’m not alone with the tremendous sadness that threatens to engulf me.

Hello my name is Tina I'm 62. I was married to a wonderful man. In December of 2019 he started with a single cloth and for the next year he went through a battery of tests. he was put on inhaler because they found out he had lesions scarring basically in both his lungs never got any better but worse. He ended up an oxygen and got extremely worse at one point during the height of covid. I had a call 911 cuz he could not get any Oxygen his pulse socks auction in his system was 54 he was gray he end up in the hospital with double long pneumonia and a blood clot in his left lung that is when he found out that he needed a lung transplant. That was an extremely scary time and I thought for sure I'd be losing him and I almost did. He was o negative in his blood and for the most right he can give blood because anyone can use it when it comes to a transplant it's one of the most difficult ones because you have to have the same blood type otherwise it just wouldn't work and June of 2020 he got a

I lost my husband of 55 years April 2nd.  I’m lost, he was my everything.  We did everything together.We have two great adult kids, 3 beautiful granddaughters and a 9 month old great grandson.They have their lives, which is what we always wanted,…I just need someone to chat with.  Tell them how wonderful he is,…share memories,…‘Help me maybe get through another day without him…

Just seeing how everyone else moves on after losing your best friend, the father of your Cullen,  your spouse. Been 11 years and I can't seem find the way. (If anyone take a moment respond is be very grateful.  If not i totalitarian get it)  Happy Hokkaido.    At least TRY HAVE HAPPY HOLIDAY 😊 🤗 XOXO 

 The first of Oct. this year, I lost one of my dearest and closest friends. I just would like to know if there are any of you out there who feel like the Holidays this year are a little hard to get excited about. Sincerely, Jill

My brother passed after decades of MS. He put up a good fight but he left us on Dec. 27th I am currently looking for a bereavement group in my community. 

My 92 year old dad died 8/2 after a brief but painful battle with cancer. On 8/3, I discovered that my cousin had been financially abusing him since February when he started using drugs again. I'm finding it very difficult to grieve for my dad when I now have to file a police report, report the abuse to the state, file disputes with the credit union, etc. I am devastated by the betrayal. My dad was exceedingly kind to my cousin and he took advantage of him.