Caregiving

 I am feeling so lonely since my husband passed away.  The house is so silent.  I'm trying to do things with friends, but even when I am laughing with them, inside I feel like crying.  I feel so empty inside!  😞 

My college roommate was my roommate for life- found we were cousins, I was her caregiver for 28 years after a devastating car accident . Hit from behind by govt van. Weasley lawyer ( he looked like a weasel) got him off. She died 6/7/2024. I’m now along for the first time in my life. I’m 74 and quite alone. No family nearby. Still trying to navigate isolation, silence, boredom. I miss her so much, but she is hale and healthy now and I will see her again. 

Hi everyone.  I lost my dad Thanksgiving weekend.  He and I did everything together--we were gym buddies for 27 years (our last workout together was one year and 3 days before he passed).  We shared lots of hobbies: antique cars, Civil War history, etc.  It's been very difficult. The worst is when something unexpectedly reminds you.  I was at the dentist the other day when the song "Everything I Own" by Bread came on.  It was just awful!  Especially since I distinctly remember when I was a child and my dad explained to me that David Gates wrote that song when his own father died. It looks like you have some great resources here, and I've already signed up for a webinar. Thanks, Dana

 This day is the one year anniversary of my husband's death.  It is a beautiful day, and I do wish it were cloudy and raining.  The last of the 'firsts'.  

It’s been 15 months since my husband of 50+ years  died and it’s been worst than the first few months were. How do I ever move on?

Been thinking I do have enough time for myself but  Little going out,having fun and stuff like that Was more used to going out as a couple but since she passed it's all down  Just feel half as happy always 

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! How a Spouse’s Death Can Affect Your Credit Score. Survivor’s credit can take a hit, especially if late partner handled the couple’s money. By Jon Marcus, AARP. Published September 17, 2024. Soon after Dolores Tighe’s husband died in December 2023, her grief began to be punctuated by letters from banks and calls from strangers asking questions about her finances. Tighe, 78, threw away the letters and hung up on the callers. “I honestly didn’t know who they were,” she says. “And I didn’t want to give out information on the phone." https://www.aarp.org/money/budgeting-saving/info-2024/spouse-death-credit-impact.html

FROM THE ARTICLE. Here's Everything You Need to Do When a Loved One Dies. Practical steps you need to take in the early days. By Leanne Potts, AARP. Updated May 07, 2026. When people die, they leave behind a life that must be legally and administratively closed out. The funeral must be planned, bank accounts closed, pets placed in new homes, final bills paid. When someone you love dies, the job of handling those personal and legal details may fall to you. It’s a stressful, bureaucratic task that can take months to several years to complete, all while you are grieving. USE LINK BELOW TO READ ARTICLE. https://www.aarp.org/family-relationships/when-loved-one-dies-checklist/

FROM THE ARTICLE. From therapy to AI tools to ‘deleting’ memories, Cody Delistraty reflects on the lengths one can go to to move forward. By Laura Petrecca, AARP. Published June 25, 2024. Like many of us, Cody Delistraty knows the heart-wrenching devastation of losing someone you love. When he was 21, his mother, Jema Delistraty, died from melanoma. During her illness, Delistraty thought, If I can be really good in my studies, really good at athletics, just really good at something, then I could somehow save my mom. And after she died, he expanded that pressure on himself, thinking, I have to be a good griever now. “What that meant to me, through the received wisdom of growing up in the U.S., was to keep it quiet and work hard to get to this construct of closure,” he says. “That didn’t work.” USE LINK BELOW TO READ THE ARTICLE. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/the-grief-cure/

FROM THE ARTICLE.  Experts share insights on choosing the best national or local community for comfort after your loss. By Sharon Jayson, AARP. Published October 10, 2025. Navigating the territory of bereavement and grief can be overwhelming amid daily life demands. For those in the throes of mourning and lingering sadness, a support group may help ease the pain and provide some comfort. And those who have made grief their life’s work say finding the right group makes all the difference. It’s important to look for grief support that will not necessarily make you feel better, but makes you feel understood,” says Mary Lamia, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Marin County, California. “It’s not about getting over it, but continuing to live with it. Then it’s a good support group. Understanding grief. Grief is defined as an individual’s emotional response to loss. The American Psychological Association (APA) defines it as “the anguish ex

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! What to Post (and Not) on Social Media When You’re Grieving. How much is too much to share when you’re dealing with loss or comforting a friend? By Robin L. Flanigan, AARP. Published August 30, 2024. The 65-year-old artist from Charlottesville, Virginia, did what many do when grieving a loss. She turned to social media to share thoughts and feelings that are difficult, raw, and complicated. “Without social media to air my grief,” says DeVito, who was married to her husband, Damon, for 28 years, “I think I would’ve been a lot more isolated." https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2024/death-grief-on-social-media.html

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! Criminals pretend to be the power company. By AARP. Published May 10, 2024. Lorraine is grieving her father when she receives a letter claiming to be from Florida Power & Light notifying her to contact them. A ▶️*** kind ***◀️ "operator" named Anna walks her through the process of switching the account from her father to setting up a new one in her name and paying a deposit. A few weeks later, a notice from the real Florida Power & Light arrives in Lorraine’s mailbox and she realizes Anna wasn’t who she said she was. The criminals have gotten away with the $300 deposit, and the information they have stolen is much more valuable. https://www.aarp.org/podcasts/the-perfect-scam/info-2024/utility-bill-grieving-family.html

I know some people would look at this question and immediately think of the 'grief' connected to the passing of a loved one, but I am asking about the grief that comes with losing your independence due to medical conditions. How does one manage knowing they are losing their sense of self and what their life was vs to what it has become?

Mom fights me every step of the way.  currently in transition from broken hip, in rehab but insurance says she's discharged.  Made it 3 hours at home and took her back (not covered) due to home phone disconnected and she insisted there is no password on her cell phone so that gets disabled every time she tries to dial out for 16 hours now, could not leave her alone. Taking her to find a new general doctor this morning, her previous one died 2 months ago and she didn't tell us.  She was independent before the last fall but has become worse in the hospital/rehab for a month.  Continues to argue about everything and insists she "can do it herself". As an added complication, we have never really gotten along.  When taking her back to rehab it was a prolonged screaming event.  My husband and I are struggling.

After being married 49 years and 9 months, my husband passed away.  He went in for pre-op testing because he was having a second knee replacement done.  They found two blocked arteries - one was 95% and the other 80% plus he had an aneurysm by his heart.  He needed open heart surgery.  The doctor was very confident and didn't foresee any complications.  Unfortunately, people are not always right.  My husband was bleeding and he wouldn't clot.  I still don't really know what that means except that he is no longer with me.I feel so alone even though I have a daughter.  She has her own family to worry about.  I have a brother in law and sister in law who try helping me whenever they can.  My friends are there to listen, but have their own lives.I just cry and cry.  I know he wouldn't want me to be doing this, but I'm just so sad.  I miss him.

Morning, It is so nice to know AARP has a group I can connect with in this time of need. Thank you, Deborah D Carter

My losses occurred many years ago, but I find myself still struggling, especially during this time of the year, which is supposed to be happy and cheerful. My favorite brother died suddenly in 1990; he would have been 68 years old on December 3rd. I lost my mother on December 12, 2004. Her death was sudden and unexpected, and she literally died in my arms. My only sister committed suicide on December 21, 2012. There is no doubt that  I have been traumatized by these losses. I need to know that I’m not alone with the tremendous sadness that threatens to engulf me.

Hello my name is Tina I'm 62. I was married to a wonderful man. In December of 2019 he started with a single cloth and for the next year he went through a battery of tests. he was put on inhaler because they found out he had lesions scarring basically in both his lungs never got any better but worse. He ended up an oxygen and got extremely worse at one point during the height of covid. I had a call 911 cuz he could not get any Oxygen his pulse socks auction in his system was 54 he was gray he end up in the hospital with double long pneumonia and a blood clot in his left lung that is when he found out that he needed a lung transplant. That was an extremely scary time and I thought for sure I'd be losing him and I almost did. He was o negative in his blood and for the most right he can give blood because anyone can use it when it comes to a transplant it's one of the most difficult ones because you have to have the same blood type otherwise it just wouldn't work and June of 2020 he got a

I lost my husband of 55 years April 2nd.  I’m lost, he was my everything.  We did everything together.We have two great adult kids, 3 beautiful granddaughters and a 9 month old great grandson.They have their lives, which is what we always wanted,…I just need someone to chat with.  Tell them how wonderful he is,…share memories,…‘Help me maybe get through another day without him…

Just seeing how everyone else moves on after losing your best friend, the father of your Cullen,  your spouse. Been 11 years and I can't seem find the way. (If anyone take a moment respond is be very grateful.  If not i totalitarian get it)  Happy Hokkaido.    At least TRY HAVE HAPPY HOLIDAY 😊 🤗 XOXO 

 The first of Oct. this year, I lost one of my dearest and closest friends. I just would like to know if there are any of you out there who feel like the Holidays this year are a little hard to get excited about. Sincerely, Jill

My brother passed after decades of MS. He put up a good fight but he left us on Dec. 27th I am currently looking for a bereavement group in my community. 

My 92 year old dad died 8/2 after a brief but painful battle with cancer. On 8/3, I discovered that my cousin had been financially abusing him since February when he started using drugs again. I'm finding it very difficult to grieve for my dad when I now have to file a police report, report the abuse to the state, file disputes with the credit union, etc. I am devastated by the betrayal. My dad was exceedingly kind to my cousin and he took advantage of him. 

   I lost my Father last year and I miss him, but it is complicated. He was 88 years old and died from some kind of infection in a hospital. Unfortunately due to timing and distance I was not able to be there when it happened. It was the same with my mother as far as not being able to see here pass. I know that in his own way that my father loved me. He was a good provider and he took care of what needed to be taken care of. He taught me a lot of life lessons along the way. My dad was quite frugal so we did not go things like ball games, but we did go fishing and camping. I loved my father but we he was not one to show affection toward his children which I am pretty sure he got from his father who was somewhat more strict than my father was. He had anger issues apparently because his father did  not show him much love. I know that I cant blame my father for being how he was because it was what his father showed him. He was kinder than my Grandfather. My father has 3 sist

  I need some advice for the next steps after my husband died.  It has been 3 months and we had a trust.  It is now just one trustee and 3 adult children as beneficiaries,  Do I need to do anything now or can the beneficiaries handle when I pass.