home care services

Where do you live? I may be able to help you out

For driving, consider submiting a Request for Driver Reexamination (Form DS 699) or a signed letter to your local DMV Driver Safety Office

Racquel, one scheduling detail to add to Amy's suggestions: ask each agency to write out the actual coverage it can confirm for every day of the week, including weekends, rather than just saying it offers 8–12-hour shifts. Ask who stays with your mom during a shift change, who you call if someone is late, and what happens if a replacement cannot be found. A simple seven-day grid can make gaps easier to spot before agreeing to a start date.

For transparency, I'm affiliated with USHHCN, a home-care directory and general-information website, not a care provider. Our free question list may be useful alongside the AARP resources already shared: https://ushhcn.com/home-care-guides/questions-to-ask-before-hiring-an-in-home-caregiver/ . You can use the questions without contacting us or sharing your mom's details.

Hi Racquel, finding 8 to 12 hours of reliable help is hard, and your worry about her finances and her house is completely understandable. You do not have to hand over financial details or property to get a good caregiver. A reputable agency should be able to explain its hourly rate, minimum hours, background checks, backup plan if a caregiver calls out, and what happens if the match is not right, without pressuring you about assets. It can also help to try a shorter trial shift first and write down exactly what you need, such as supervision, meals, medication reminders, bathing help, and time out of the house, so you can compare providers fairly. For the driving concern, this is worth raising promptly with her doctor, because that conversation is often easier to accept from a clinician, and it can help you plan safer transport while she keeps some independence. Splitting the day, for example with an adult day program for part of it and home help for the rest, sometimes makes 8 to 12 hours more affordable and easier to staff than one long shift. You are right to pause when something feels pushy. Take your time, get any agreement in writing, and keep asking questions until the plan feels safe for your mom.

Hi Racquel and everyone. 

My mother is in the throws of later stage dementia which hit hard and fast. She is completely unable to care for herself, feeding, incontinence, speech and reasoning all now heavily compromised. I will review responses and links provided here which look very helpful. I am looking for best practices, at-home assistance, and financial considerations for staying at home to care for her. Thank you. 

​@RacquelB32782 I’m so sorry you’re going through this - it’s a very tricky time in the disease process when someone still has the desire to drive and go places and can’t fully understand their cognitive limitations. It’s understandable, as for her she really can’t comprehend what’s happening. But so difficult for you as I’m sure you worry about her constantly! 

There are multiple ways to hire caregivers, which I’ve outlined in my AARP Column HERE: How to Hire a Caregiver - you’ll see there are various types of in-home care providers. I cared for my parents in Arizona and we just called them paid or professional or certified “caregivers” as none of ours were home health aides and personal care assistants wasn’t the language there (Arizona has a “certified caregiver” designation and training they can take).

Regardless of what you call them, the first decisions are to decide if you will go through an agency or hire someone directly, and how they will be paid. The article outlines those various options and the pros and cons of each. 

For my parents, I used an agency some, but mostly hired people directly so I could pay them more and it cost us less. We used word of mouth (ask around the community, faith community, senior center etc.) and Care.com to find most of ours.

If she has long term care insurance that will pay, you may have requirements about how and who can be hired. 

There may be a respite program in your state that can help fill in, but that won’t be ongoing 8-12 hrs a day care.  ( I saw that Jen sent you the link for our AARP Illinois state caregiving guide.) 

Another option is for her to go to an adult day center for part of the day. That saves money because 1:1 care at home will cost more, and she would have socialization and a meal etc. Then you could supplement with care at home for the other hours. This article explains what adult day care is: Adult Daycare: What Family Caregivers Need to Know 

You could also consider a live-in caregiver if there is room and you could find someone reliable and trustworthy - could save money in the long run. 

If you hire directly, be sure to do background checks, recommendations etc. 

Let me know if you have any more questions - i hope the article will be helpful! 

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Natl. Family & Caregiving Expert

Hi ​@RacquelB32782 would you mind letting me know which state you live in? We have state specific caregiving guides that may be helpful. In the meantime, this article may help: https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/who-to-hire-caregiving-support/. I’ve also asked our caregiving expert to reach out to you. 

​​​​@RacquelB32782 , Try your local Area Agency On Aging.  Google it , and it will come up for your area, and they may be able to be of help or point you to the right place.