Caregiving Connect

My mom has Alzheimer’s. I am having a tough time finding someone to come for at least 8-12 hours a day. She is still trying to drive and can’t complete full sentences that make any sense. 

I know some people would look at this question and immediately think of the 'grief' connected to the passing of a loved one, but I am asking about the grief that comes with losing your independence due to medical conditions. How does one manage knowing they are losing their sense of self and what their life was vs to what it has become?

Are you caregiving in a rural area?WATCH: Caregiving in America: The Heart of CommunityDateNov 18, 2026Time5:30pm - 6:30pm MT (4:30 pm PT 6:30 CT, 7:30 ET)Venue: YouTube and TVLocation: Virtual (Note: This is a live television broadcast on RFD-TV, not a Zoom webinar.)Caregiving can look different depending on where you live.In rural areas, limited access to services, long travel distances and smaller support networks can add to the demands of caring for a loved one.Rural caregivers also rely on strong community connections.Tune in to this episode of Rural America Live with AARP, a live one-hour call-in show on the RFD-TV cable network, for practical resources and tips.What You'll Get Ideas for building a caregiving team Ways to find caregiving support and resources Tips for making time for self-care while caring for others A chance to call in with your questions during the live show Who It's For People 50 and older and their families, especially those caring for a loved one in a rur

When everyday costs go up, family caregiving can become even more challenging.AARP is hosting a free tele-town hall to discuss how rising costs are affecting families, what caregivers should know, and where to find help.This free live Q&A event will cover practical ways for caregivers to save time, save money and ease stress on their journey. We’ll also share how AARP is fighting for solutions that can support family caregivers and older Americans.Join us to hear how caregivers can:- Navigate household expenses- Prepare for caregiving needs- Connect with helpful resourcesCaregiving specialists will be joining us to share answers live, so be sure to come with your caregiving questions!Speakers:• Beth Pinsker, Journalist and Caregiver• Rita Choula, Senior Director of Caregiving, AARP• Nicole Duritz, Director of Family and Caregiving, AARPFOLLOW THIS LINKE AND CLICK “GOING” TO REGISTER FOR THE EVENT:  https://www.facebook.com/share/1BVxMYym4n/Then, on Nov. 30th, join the Facebook live

 As we head into the holidays, which will undoubtedly be different this year, here is my 3rd tip for caregivers:Start new traditionsInstead of focusing on losses and what you and/or your loved ones aren’t able to do this year, try doing something new!Holiday Lights: Try driving through a holiday light display - you are safe in your car! They have become quite popular and this year I anticipate many communities will have them - you can look online for "holiday light displays" in your area. Even neighborhoods or streets on which most houses decorate make a nice driving destination (my family always does that)!Concerts: Watch all of the holiday concerts on TV or computer. I'm guessing there will be even more available this year - my Dad loved watching them on TV. There are usually several on the PBS channel and you can check local listings and your streaming channels too. Some AARP state offices will even be offering holiday concerts online!Video chat meals and more: If holiday gathe

My mother died recently, approximately four months ago. She was in her mid 90s.. Over 30 years ago she purchased a funeral plan that was paid up in full in or around 2008. Trying to get the company to honor the plan has been a complete nightmare. The company has also changed hands, merged over the years. The latest company first said they had no record of my mom’s funeral plan. But when the company was told my mother kept good records, letters from all the times the company merged, changed names, sold out, we were told “we misunderstood” and they weren’t the part of the company to handle the claim. The company has given the funeral home the runaround too. Together with my mom’s savings and what she’d put aside and the family paying upfront in full, mom had a beautiful send off. All expenses paid. So that’s not the issue. The issue is the company giving us the run around. And after looking up the company on BBB, it seems there are lots of other surviving family members having the same p

I highly recommend AARP to use ypur leverage and expertise in pushing pharmaceutical companies and insurance carriers to make better efforts in reducing suffering caused by reactions ro cancer treatments. I have so many senior cancer patients who suffer because of cancer medications. We need updated senior cancer care protocols. 

I’ve been reading a lot of threads here about pharmacies, Medicare letters, rides to appointments and finding help at home. Many of the errands that should be simple end up taking a whole day. I’d love to hear your stories. Think about the last time something like this happened to you or someone you help. What was it, what did you try first, and what finally worked (or didn’t)?

Mom's 82 and lives a few hours away. She's mostly independent so I didn't see this coming, but the admin side of her life has slowly become a part-time job for me. This week alone I've spent an hour on hold with her supplemental insurance about a denied claim I still don't fully understand, two Medicare letters I had to read three times before I could explain them to her, a prescription that ran out because nobody at the pharmacy seemed to know whose job the refill was and a specialist referral that's been sitting in my inbox because I haven't had a clear hour to deal with it.I don't mind doing it. I just feel constantly behind and keep worrying I'm missing something important.How do other people manage this? I tried a shared calendar with my brother but it just became another thing I have to update. Genuinely curious what's worked for you.

Sometimes as caregivers we feel so unappreciated. Does anyone notice what we are doing? Does anyone care? A little bit of support can go a very long way…What makes you feel supported? What have people done that helped you?  Take care,Amy Goyer, AARP Natl. Family & Caregiving Expert

Hi Everyone,My mother is in the throws of mid-to-later stage dementia which hit hard and fast. She is completely unable to care for herself, feeding, incontinence, speech and reasoning all now heavily compromised. I will review responses and links provided here which look very helpful. I am looking for best practices, at-home assistance, and financial considerations for staying at home to care for her. Thank you. 

Making our own Medicare decisions is challenging enough, and then some of us also help our loved ones choose their Medicare plans (or do it for them). On top of all the other caregiving tasks there can be a lot of pressure around choosing Medicare plans - it’s so complicated and confusing! AARP has resources to help. Check out my post in the Medicare forum here in the AARP Online Community HERE:You’ll find a list of resources - and if you have questions that aren’t answered in the resources, I can get help from our Medicare experts!!  Take care,Amy GoyerAARP Natl. Family & Caregiving Expert  

As I age, I have been looking for a complete guide for end of life planning which would include all information pertaining to my family having access to info like passwords, legal contacts, insurance, monthly bills,etc as they transition into handling issues I deal with daily. there are several retail products available, like nokbox but I was trying to see if AARP has any product or recommendation. Unfortunately, there is nothing on the website nor the agent I spoke with had nothing as well.Perhaps this might be something that could be explored as a benefit or product. 

One of the most difficult tasks for caregivers is to find the money to pay for care. It's often like a puzzle with many pieces coming together to finance the overall care.  If you're caregiving for someone at home (in their own home or your home), there are services and supports available through the aging network and other organizations which bring care and help to your loved ones at home or are offered in the local community. These services are called "Home- and Community-Based" services. The services are often available at no cost or at a reduced cost, or on a sliding-fee-scale (the cost is based on the recipient's ability to pay). Some services are based on income (for example if they are provided through Medicaid), but many are not income-based and are available to any older adult or person with a disability.  Home- and community-based services may include: Senior centers Adult daycares Congregate meal sites Home-delivered meal programs Personal care from a care aide, home

Hi everyone! I wanted to make sure you all know that AARP is now offering virtual, online caregiver support groups where you can talk, live, with your fellow caregivers! I facilitate the Monday group at 3:30 pm ET and my colleague Jane Lincoln facilitates the Thursday group at 7 pm ET.We will be adding more groups soon, so keep checking if these times don’t work for you! (I’ll provide updates here in the Online Community when we add mtg times). You can go to this link to sign up! https://www.heypeers.com/organizations/173 Sign up for up to 5 mtgs at a time and you can keep signing up for more after each meeting you attend. You can attend every week as many times as you’d like, or you can drop in now and then when you can. You’ll find lots of empathy, listening ears, humor, resources and much support in our virtual groups! Hope to see you there! Take care,Amy Goyer, AARP Natl. Family & Caregiving Expert   

Caregiving can be very draining, isolating and exhausting - even when we want to care for our loved ones.  How do you fill our tank so you can keep going? What helps you recharge your batteries? What nurtures your soul so you can continue to care for you loved ones?!  P.S. If you need ideas, our free Care for the Caregiver guide includes so practical things you can do every day! www.AARP.org/careforthecaregiver  Take care,Amy Goyer, AARP Natl. Family & Caregiving Expert

Great day, I am looking for an online Caregiver support group. I work full-time and take care of my Mom. Seeking a safe space to connect with other caregivers.

I just took your quiz "Quiz: Caring for Someone With Dementia" and it made me think. My wife passed away with Lewy Body Dementia and I was wondering if you could maybe do a piece on the different forms of dementia. Also would one "cure" work with all types? We hear of Alzheimer's all the time but very little on other forms. 

New here, I am my husband’s caretaker, he has advanced Parkinsons.  We have been married 52 years, both retired.  Most difficult is I never get to have ‘me’ time and worry what will I do if he gets bed bound.  Uses rollator in home very slowly and wheelchair away from home.

I am looking for ways to get a break from care giving. what options have you found available, and affordable? 

One of the biggest struggles families face is knowing when it’s time to seek more support. Many wait until a crisis happens before exploring senior care options, which can make decisions feel rushed and emotional. As an Adult Family Home provider, I’ve seen how much peace of mind comes from planning early and understanding the different levels of care available. ❤️

We're glad you're here. Whether you're caring for a spouse, parent, family member, friend, or planning for future caregiving needs, AARP Caregiving Connect is a place to ask questions, share experiences, exchange advice, and connect with others who understand the caregiving journey. Before You Post Please remember that this is a public discussion forum. To help protect your privacy and the privacy of those you care for, please avoid sharing personal information such as: Home addresses Phone numbers Email addresses Financial information Insurance or policy numbers Medical record numbers Other sensitive personal details  When discussing caregiving situations, consider limiting details that could identify you or your loved one. You're Not Alone Caregiving can be rewarding, challenging, emotional, and sometimes overwhelming. This community brings together caregivers from diverse backgrounds and experiences who are willing to share what they've learned and offer support along th

Mom fights me every step of the way.  currently in transition from broken hip, in rehab but insurance says she's discharged.  Made it 3 hours at home and took her back (not covered) due to home phone disconnected and she insisted there is no password on her cell phone so that gets disabled every time she tries to dial out for 16 hours now, could not leave her alone. Taking her to find a new general doctor this morning, her previous one died 2 months ago and she didn't tell us.  She was independent before the last fall but has become worse in the hospital/rehab for a month.  Continues to argue about everything and insists she "can do it herself". As an added complication, we have never really gotten along.  When taking her back to rehab it was a prolonged screaming event.  My husband and I are struggling.

My family is struggling to find short-term respite care for a loved one, and it’s been emotionally exhausting. We want care that’s safe, kind, and trustworthy, but it’s hard to know where to turn or what to look for. I’d really appreciate your suggestions or advice