SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, Mamacita...let's play WEEWEECHU."

"Oh no, not now. Let's look at the moon." said Rosita.

"Oh, c'mon Baby...let's you and me play WEEWEECHU. I love you and it's the perfect time." Pedro begged.

"But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon."

"Please, Corazoncito just once.....play WEEWEECHU with me.."

Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, just one time...."

So Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang.......

Weeweechu a Merry Christmas.....Weeweechu a Merry Christmas.....Weeweechu a Merry Christmas....and a Happy New Year."     

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Bonnie

a cute one lol  WEEWWEECHU 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                              THREE KIDS FISHING

Barack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway, when he tripped , fell over the bridge and landed in a creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. 

He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid said, "I want to go to Disney World and Barack said, "No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One."

The second kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes." Barack said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them."

The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset."

Barack was a little perplexed by this and said,"But you don't look handicapped to me." The kid said, "I will be after my Dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A woman said she noticed her purse missing from her car just before 5 p.m. on Sunday.

The car was parked with the doors locked, and the purse was in the back seat.

The purse was valued at $400, her wallet was valued at $200, and she said there was $800 in cash in the purse, according to the Police report.

Also missing were the woman's food stamps.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Students in an advanced Biology class were given this question:

Name 7 advantages of Mother's milk.

One student wrote:

1.  It's the perfect formula for the child.

2.  It provides immunity against several diseases.

3.  It's always the right temperature.

4.  It's inexpensive.

5.  It bonds the mother to the child and vice versa.

6.  Always available as needed .

Running out of time, he hurridly wrote...

7.  It comes in two attractive containers, and is high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word...

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sacastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep", the wife replied, "In laws."   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                        HOSTESS SPLIT UP

You may have heard that Hostess Bakery plants shut down due to a worker's strike. But you may not have heard how it was split up...

The State Dept. hired all the Twinkies.

The Social Security Dept. hired all the Hotto's.

The General's are sleeping with the Cupcakes.

And the voters sent all the Ding Dongs to Congress.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Please be advised. I am sick and tired of answering questions about my dog, who mauled 6 people for wearing Obama Tee-shirts,4 wearing Pelosi Tee-shirts, 2 Democrats, 9 teenagers with pants hanging past their cracks, 3 flag burners and a Paxistani taxi driver.

Now for the last time..... the dog is NOT for sale !!

I'm trying to talk him into quitting smoking, but he says it helps get the bad taste out of his mouth.  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Luis and Pepe, two Mexicans, are stuck in the desert starving, when Luis says, "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Is ,Luis, eet sure smell like bacon."

They struggle up the next sand dune, and there in the distance is tree loaded with bacon.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved! Ees a bacon tree!"

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

With that Luis staggers towards the tree, gets within 5 meters, when suddenly a machine gun opens up and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded he warns Pepe.

"Pepe, go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mia migo, what ees it?"

"Pepe ees not a bacon tree, ees......................

ees........

ees.......

ees....

ees....

Ess......  a ham bush!"     

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed.

As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset because he had promised to help her carry her purchases.

She decided to call his cell phone and see where he was....

In a calm voice, the husband said, "Honey, do you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"

The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."

He said, "Well, I'm in the bar right next to it."