SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Maxine says:     "The leaves have started changing colors.... which reminds me I need to clean out the refrigerator...

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Maxine says:

"Tonight's a full moon huh?  Well at least my howling won't seem so out of place."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Maxine says:

The squirrels must be gathering nuts.

Three of my neighbors have disappeared.  

What really scares  me at  Halloween is knowing that all the family holidays are coming up.   

"Some of the neighbor's kids actually look better in masks !  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Maxine says: 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

HAPPY HALLOWEEN   TO ALL

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A large women, wearing a sleeveless sundress , walked into a bar in Dublin, Ireland. She raised her right arm, revealing  a huge rairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a woman a drink?"

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her.

But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"

The bartender poured the drink, and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed to the all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, " What man here will buy a lady another drink?"

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me Paddy, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but tell me why you keep calling her the ballerina?"

The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high, has got to be a ballerina !"

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

The 87 yr.old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 yr.old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.

The 87 yr.old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."

So, on the way home, the 80 yr.old stops at a bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed  any help.

He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"

She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"

He said, "Yes, I want 5 loaves."

She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves ! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."

He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody knows about this sh-- but me!"   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

     87  year old had just finished his morning jog    

    LMBO

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Women and cats do as they please...

Men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

"Why do people say, "Grow some balls?"

"Balls are weak and sensitive ! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina ! Those things take a pounding."   

Betty White