SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Arresting Mom

 A police recruit was asked on an exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

 In the blank, he wrote, "Call for backup."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

A filthy rich Florida man decided he wanted to throw a party and invited all his buddies and neighbors...

He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party in the backyard around the pool at his mansion.

Leroy was having a good time dancing, drinking and eating shrimp and oysters, and flirting with the women.

At the height of the party the host said, "I have a 10-foot man- eating gator in my pool and I will give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash...

Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool...  The water was churning everywhere and both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising heck.

Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store gold fish..

Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool.Everyone was just staring at him in disbelief !

Finally, the host said. "Well, Leroy, I guess I owe you a million dollars!"

"No, that's okay, I don't want it," said Leroy

Confused he then asked Leroy, "Well then what do you want?"

Leroy replied, "I want the name of the sumbitch that pushed me into the pool!!"   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

The Great Writer
He now works for Microsoft,writing error messagesso true          lol

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

ha ha good one  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

  dustbusterz 

  your wild   call for back up -  lol

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 A filthy rich  Florida man decided he  

 Think-I peed my pants on this one 
 

Lena's Divorce

 The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support.

 He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support."

 "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks myself."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

thanks for the like on thi sone 

Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings

 The American Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.

 1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.

 2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

 3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you

 4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

 5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.

 6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

 7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.