SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 Bonnie ~( did I read that right?)   

 lol

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

  gotta love it 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                     BUMPAH  STICKAHS...

Honk if I'm paying your mortgage.

 Actually no one owes you crap !

A nation of sheep, breeds a Government of wolves.

My other car is a Cadillac.

Stop as I stop, or smile as you go under!

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Bumpah   Stickahs - a good one  

Fishing

A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Minnesota recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?!" the warden replied.

"Yes, sir. Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home."

"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"

The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works."

"O.K. I've GOT to see this!" the game warden replied.

The man poured the fish in to the water and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, "Well?"

"Well, what?" the man asked.

"When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted.

"Call who back?" the man asked.

"The FISH."

"What fish?" the man asked.

 

Sixteen Steps to Build a Campfire

 1. Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.

 2. Bandage left thumb.

 3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments

 4. Bandage left foot.

 5. Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand).

 6. Light Match.

 7. Light Match.

 8. Repeat "a Scout is cheerful" and light match.

 9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.

 10. Apply burn ointment to nose.

 11. When fire is burning, collect more wood.

 12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene."

 13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.

 14. Re-label can to read "gasoline."

 15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.

 16. When thunder storm has passed, repeat steps 1-15.

Glasses?

 A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."

 The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."

 The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

Someone revealed my fire building proceedure!   LOL

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don't feel that men already provide them with enough frustration....

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

dustbusterza

good one you should be wearing glasses." lol