SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

The real moral of the story.......... LEARN TO LIVE WITH THE PRICKS IN YOUR LIFE.

ha ha  rotflmao

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

I took my dad to the mall shopping to buy some new shoes ( he's 76) . We decided to grab a bite to eat at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teen had spiked hair in all different colors. Green, red, orange and blue.

Dad kept staring at her and she asked sarcastically, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

I knew my dad would have a good response, and without batting an eyelash, he said, ....

"I got stoned once and had sex with a parrot and I was just wondering if you might be my kid!"     

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

"I got stoned once and had sex with a parrot and I was just wondering if you might be my kid!"

Ha ha  ha  ha   rotflmao  this is so funny:))

Stop redundancy

The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time.

Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be nor confusing.

So their first meeting will actually be their first meeting and they will not have a meeting before the first meeting.

This should avoid having people show up for their first meeting before it is held, since to do so would be confusing to those who did so and this is what they want to avoid by reducing the confusion and lessening the repetition.

Ponderables

- If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

- If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

- If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

- If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

- You know how most packages say "Open here." What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

- Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

- Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

- Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

- Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

- You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

dustbusterz

Ponderables some good one's in the post lol

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Bonnie   

It was the coldest winter ever love it- lol

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

  Bonnie  

Please put my friend Sharon on your Prayer list.the hurricane tore her house up bad, and the poor girl lost her beloved husband Roy last year,a bad stroke and he was gone.    thanks-nell 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Most certainly Nell. My thoughts and prayers go out to her.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

THEY WALK AMONG US.......

While working at a pizza parlor, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go.

He appeared to be alone, and the cook asked him if he wanted it cut in 4 or 6 pieces, to which he replied," Just cut it in 4 pieces, I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces......  

THEY WALK AMONG US......

My sister has a life saving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped... She keeps it in her trunk...