SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Bonnie  

explains the things that come out of Washington !

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10     

Bigger and Bigger 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Best friends graduated from med school at the same time and decided that in spite of their different specialties, they would open a practice together.

Dr. Smith was a psychiatrist, and Dr. Jones was the proctologist. They put up a sign reading...

"Dr Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors"

The town council was livid and insisted they change it. So, the docs changed it to read:

"Schizoids and Hemorrhoids"....

This also was not acceptable. Again they changed it....

"Catatonics and High Colonics".... No go.

Next they tried :

"Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives".

Then came:

"Minds and Behinds".......still no good.

Another attempt resulted in,

"Lost souls and Butt holes"..unacceptable again.

So they tried, " Analysis and Anal Cysts". Not a chance...

"Nuts and Butts".... no way.

"Freaks and Cheeks"... still no good.

"Loons and Moons".... forget it.

Nearly at their wits end, the docs finally came up with:

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones-- Specializing in Odds and Ends"

Everyone loved it !       

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 Everyone loved it !  ~ lol 
 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones-- Specializing in Odds and Ends"

Gotta Love it,although I Kind of like some of the other choices too  

LOL

1. Money cannot buy happiness but it’s more comfortable to cry in a
Mercedes than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard’s name.
3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you
when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

In Response to Happiness, Forgiveness, Helping Others & Other Thoughts by Hal

HI Hal......

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

Helllooooooo............ just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year. In ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves !  Helllooooo? It's been a year! I told him. There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot. 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

I hope all of my cyber friends make it through hurricane Irene safely.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

they will pay for themselves in a year (quite funny)  love a good blonde joke 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves, but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions. After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from another and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice:

Either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the warmth that came from the others. This way they were able to survive.

Moral of the story:  The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.

The real moral of the story.......... LEARN TO LIVE WITH THE PRICKS IN YOUR LIFE.