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BonnieC10
Community Champion ⭐⭐
July 12, 2010

SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

  • July 12, 2010
  • 2655 replies
  • 427818 views

 Joke deleted

    This topic has been closed for replies.

    2655 replies

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    nell2
    nell2
    Contributor ⭐⭐
    August 10, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

    old couple was at home watching TV

    OMG -lol

    B
    BonnieC10Author
    Community Champion ⭐⭐
    August 11, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

                          HOW HOT IS IT???

    It's so hot...the birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.

                 The trees are whistling for the dogs.

                 The best parking space is determined by the shade instead of the distance.

                  Hot water comes out of both taps.

                  You can make sun tea instantly

                  You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

                  The temperature drops below 95 degrees, and you feel a little chilly.

                  You discover that in August it only takes two fingers to steer your car.

                   You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

                   You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

                   You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

                   Your biggest motorcycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

                   You realize that asphalt has a liquid stage.

                   The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter.

                   The cows are giving evaporated milk.

                   Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

    It's hotter than a whore in church!

     

    nell2
    nell2
    Contributor ⭐⭐
    August 11, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

    HOW HOT IS IT ???---- today is the 1st cool day we have had in 45 days temps all over the 100° mark

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    BonnieC10Author
    Community Champion ⭐⭐
    August 12, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                            MESSAGE TO ALL

    Hi everyone one. First let me thank you all for the great jokes you have been posting. May I make a suggestion ? When you post, please click on "Reply to this post" under my entry. That will keep them all together, rather than creating single entries.

    I will be on vacation the next 10 days, hope everyone is enjoying their summer. Keep the jokes coming !! 

    B
    BonnieC10Author
    Community Champion ⭐⭐
    August 12, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

    One day, shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Travino, a great professional golfer and married man, was mowing his lawn in Dallas Texas, as he always did...

    A lady in a big Cadillac, stopped in front of his house, put down her window and asked, "Excuse me, do you speak English?"

    "Yes, Ma'am I do." he replied.

    The lady aksed, "What do you charge to do yard work?"

    Lee said, "Well, the lady in this house let's me sleep with her."

    The lady hurriedly sped off.      

    nell2
    nell2
    Contributor ⭐⭐
    August 13, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

    Bonnie enjoy your vacation

    Lee Travino, a great professional golfer and married man, was mowing his lawn in Dallas Texas, as he always did...       lol  

    dustbusterz
    dustbusterz
    Contributor ⭐⭐
    August 19, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

     

     

    If My Body Were a Car

    If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

    I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

    My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

    My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

    My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

    It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

    My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

    But here's the worst of it -- almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

    Copyright 2003 Linda S. Amstutz

    dustbusterz
    dustbusterz
    Contributor ⭐⭐
    August 19, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

     

     

     

    If My Body Were a Car

    If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

    I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

    My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

    My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

    My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

    It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

    My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

    But here's the worst of it -- almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!

    Copyright 2003 Linda S. Amstutz

    nell2
    nell2
    Contributor ⭐⭐
    August 20, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

    If My Body Were a Car       

       LMBO

    dustbusterz
    dustbusterz
    Contributor ⭐⭐
    August 21, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

     

    Thanks, So Glad You Liked it    🙂

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