SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to Witticisms and Profundities by Hal

Quietly, on the eve of our 50th anniversary,  I confided  to my husband that I was having an affair...

He turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"

THAT my friend is old !!   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

I just wanted you to know, that I have entered the 'snap dragon' part of my life...

Part of me has snapped, and the rest is draggin' !

Did you hear that low flying plane this afternoon? It was flying so low when I was walking from the dining room to the kitchen that the flight attendant asked me to return to my seat!

Kathryn

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

How funny!

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by Kacky

THAT would be low !!   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                   DARWIN AWARD NOMINEE

Mike Anderson Godwin made "News of the Weird" post humorously. He had spent several years awaiting So. Carolina's electric chair for a murder conviction. Before having his sentence reduced to life in prison, while sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted !   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments...

"My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee." said one.

"Yes, I know." said another. "My cataracts are so bad, I can't even see my coffee."

"I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are so crippled." volunteered a third.

"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!"

"I can't even turn my head because of arthritis in my neck." said a fourth, for which several nodded in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.

"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.

The others nodded in agreement.

"Well, count your blessings" said a woman cheerfully, "Thank God we can all still drive."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A group of seniors were sitting around talking

 lol 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Two blonde girls were working for the Public Works Dept. One would dig a hole and the other would fill it in... they worked up one side of the street and down the other, then moved to the next street. They worked all day without rest one digging, and the other filling it in gain.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, " Why are you digging holes only to fill them back in again?"  She wiped her brow and replied," Well, I suppose it does look odd, because normally we are a three person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

An old couple was at home watching TV. The husband had the remote and was switching back and forth between the fishing channel and porn....

The wife became more and more annoyed and findly said, " For God's sake ! Will you leave it on the porn channel, you already know how to fish!"