SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Two dwarfs go into a bar where they pick up two working girls and take them home to their separate hotel rooms.

The first dwarf, however, is unable to perform and his depression is made worse by the fact that from the next room he hears his friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again 1-2-3- ugh!"   all night long....

The next morning the 2nd dwarf asks the first "How did it go ?" The first mutters "It was embarrassing . I just couldn't perform."

The second shook his head, "You think that's embarrassing? I couldn't get up on the bed!"  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

BEHIND EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN IS A WOMAN WHO CLAIMS SHE HAS NOTHING TO WEAR...

GOLF IS A GAME WHICH YOU YELL "FORE" , SHOOT SIX, AND WRITE DOWN FIVE.

TO COOL A HOT ATTITUDE, APPLY NICE. TO MELT A COLD ATTITUDE, ADDRESS WARMLY.

QUESTION:  "WHAT IS YOUR SON TAKING TO COLLEGE?"

ANS:    "OH HE'S TAKING ALL I'VE GOT."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot...

The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be OK, you'll walk again and everything, but your hoohaa-schlong was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on. "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build you a new one. They work great, but do not come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."

The man preks up. "So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife."

The man agreed to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day. "So, have you spoken to your wife?"

"Yes," says the husband.

"We're getting granite countertops."        

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Two Irish nuns had just arrived in the USA by boat. The first one says to the other, "I've heard they eat dogs in this country."

"Well," said the second nun, "If we're going to live here, we may as well do as the Americans do."

They hear a push cart vendor yelling, "Hot dogs, get 'em here."  So they both walk over to the vendor. "Two please," they say apprehensively.

They are given two hot dogs wrapped in foil . They find a bench, sit and begin to unwrap their hotdogs. The Mother Superior begins to blush....

She turns to the second nun and asks, "What part did you get?"    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 Two Irish nuns 

 I just about didn't get sign in 
 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Click  for larger view

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

HI Nell,  yes, they surprised us with a few changes....   : (

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

He said to me.....   I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

I said to him..... You wear pants don't you? 

He said to me.......  Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

I said to him........  That's a good idea, you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing.    

He said to me........ What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

I said to him........ Turn sideways and look in the mirror !    

He said to me.........  Why don't women blink during foreplay?

I said to him........ They don't have time.   

He said to me...... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

I said to him....... I don't know, it's never happened.  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

He said to me.....  

I think it covered all - lol 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Bonnie your right-

they surprised us with a few changes !!!