SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St.Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be."

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren." and 'poof' she was gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna." and 'poof' she was gone.

The third says, "I want to be Alberta Pipalini". St. Peter looks perplexed.

"Who?" he says......

"Alberta Pipalini." replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St.Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says," No, sister, the paper says it was the "Alberta Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven-lol

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Kevin was in Duncan Donuts recently when he suddenly realized that he desperately needed to pass gas...

The music was really loud, so he timed his flatulence to the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, he started to feel better. He finished his coffee, and noticed that everyone was staring at him. He suddenly remembered he was listening to his IPod!....

How was your day?   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Beer:

Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 BC

W.C. Fields

  "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without hanging on."

Dean Martin

I drink to make other people interesting.

Geo. Nathen

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A three-legged dog goes into a bar.......

"I'm lookin' for the guy that shot my paw !"

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 Kevin was in Duncan Donuts  This is sooo funny-lmbo 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A man was lying in bed with his new girl friend. After having great sex, she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles......

As he was enjoying it, he turned to her and asked, " Why do you enjoy doing that so much?"

"Because," she replied ......

"I really miss mine."  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, " I replied,"She can order for herself."

And that's how the fight started.  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats, right behind their teams' bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents!"

Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was : "Get the quarter back ! Get the quarter back! I'm like...HELLOOOOOOOO.. It's only 25 cents !!!    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

  Hey, Ya'll ! 

The current weather forecasts  about the blizzard  expected to hit the U.S. are  awesome!  Those weathermen are great!!

 But. we always had accurate weather forecasts when I was a kid, too ! 

We called it  " the window"..

,<)

Stay warm  !!

We   called it    "WINDOW".??