It has an automatic water mister to keep produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the distant sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk case, you hear cows moo and you experience the scent of fresh cut hay...

In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and brats.

In the liquor department, the fresh, clean, crisp smell of Miller Lite.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizng smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.

I don't buy toilet paper there anymore.

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BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

APPLE DOES IT AGAIN !

Apple announced that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music..

The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on the cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

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BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

This year we will experience 4 unusual dates:

1/1/11... 1/11/11.....11/1/11... 11/11/11...

Now...take the last 2 digits of the year you were born , PLUS the age you will be this year... and together it will total..... 111 !

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BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, it smelled wonderful!

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah, senior, you have excellent taste! Those are called, Conjones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"

The cowboy said, "What the heck, bring me an order."

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senior. There is only one serving a day, because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy."

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones you served yesterday"

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, senior, but sometimes the bull wins."

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BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

I went fishing this morning, but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then, out of the corner of my eye I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth . "Frogs are good bass bait" I thought to myself.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with a frog in it's mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Just then, I had a problem, how to release the snake without getting bit?

So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in it's mouth. The snake's eyes rolled back and he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge at my foot. There was that same snake with two more frogs in it's mouth..

Life is good in the South !

nell2

Contributor ⭐⭐

My Father is a Stripper in a Gay Bar

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up --fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman,doctor, lawyer, and so forth.
However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet,so when the teacher prodded him about his father,he finally replied,'Okay...my father's an exotic dancer in a Gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.'
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement,hurriedly set the otherchildren to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him,'Is that really true about your father?'
'No', the boy said, 'He actually works for the Democratic National Committee and helped get Barack Obama elected President last year but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the class.