Skip to main content
B
BonnieC10
Community Champion ⭐⭐
July 12, 2010

SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

  • July 12, 2010
  • 2655 replies
  • 427597 views

 Joke deleted

    This topic has been closed for replies.

    2655 replies

    Show previous replies
    B
    BonnieC10Author
    Community Champion ⭐⭐
    January 14, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

    Two old- timers were talking over their morning coffee about the long stretch of hot weather they'd been having.

    One said to the other, "At my place, it's so hot I saw robins pulling worms out of the ground with potholders!"  

    nell2
    nell2
    Contributor ⭐⭐
    January 14, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

     Bonnie- An American Indian you smarty you got me on this one/ I'm sending a copy to Jim---lol

    J
    J0yce1
    Contributor ⭐⭐
    January 15, 2011

    Old??  Confused??  Text and Tweet with the best of them!!

     

     

    Since seniors are texting and tweeting more and more there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code).  If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you. 
              ATD ~ At The Doctor's
    • BFF ~ Best Friend Farted
    • BTW ~ Bring The Wheelchair
    • BYOT ~ Bring Your Own Teeth
    • CBM ~ Covered By Medicare
    • CUATSC ~ See You At The Senior Center
    • DWI ~ Driving While Incontinent
    • FWB ~ Friend With Beta Blockers
    • FWIW ~ Forgot Where I Was
    • FYI ~ Found Your Insulin
    • GGPBL ~ Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
    • GHA ~ Got Heartburn Again
    • HGBM ~ Had Good Bowel Movement
    • IMHO ~ Is My Hearing-Aid On?
    • LMDO ~ Laughing My Dentures Out
    • LOL ~ Living On Lipitor
    • LWO ~ Lawrence Welk's On
    • OMMR ~ On My Massage Recliner
    • OMSG ~ Oh My!  Sorry, Gas!
    • ROFL-CGU ~ Rolling On The Floor Laughing-Can't Get Up
    • SGGP ~ Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
    • TTYL ~ Talk To You Louder
    • WAITT ~ Who Am I Talking To?
    • WTFA ~ Wet The Furniture Again
    • WTP ~ Where's The Prunes?
    • WWNO ~ Walker Wheels Need Oil  
      GGLKI ~ Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
    ·         NCDCWPH ~ Never confuse denture cream with preparation H

     
    J
    J0yce1
    Contributor ⭐⭐
    January 15, 2011

    Old??  Confused??  Text and Tweet with the best of them!!

     

     

    Since seniors are texting and tweeting more and more there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code).  If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you. 
              ATD ~ At The Doctor's
    • BFF ~ Best Friend Farted
    • BTW ~ Bring The Wheelchair
    • BYOT ~ Bring Your Own Teeth
    • CBM ~ Covered By Medicare
    • CUATSC ~ See You At The Senior Center
    • DWI ~ Driving While Incontinent
    • FWB ~ Friend With Beta Blockers
    • FWIW ~ Forgot Where I Was
    • FYI ~ Found Your Insulin
    • GGPBL ~ Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
    • GHA ~ Got Heartburn Again
    • HGBM ~ Had Good Bowel Movement
    • IMHO ~ Is My Hearing-Aid On?
    • LMDO ~ Laughing My Dentures Out
    • LOL ~ Living On Lipitor
    • LWO ~ Lawrence Welk's On
    • OMMR ~ On My Massage Recliner
    • OMSG ~ Oh My!  Sorry, Gas!
    • ROFL-CGU ~ Rolling On The Floor Laughing-Can't Get Up
    • SGGP ~ Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
    • TTYL ~ Talk To You Louder
    • WAITT ~ Who Am I Talking To?
    • WTFA ~ Wet The Furniture Again
    • WTP ~ Where's The Prunes?
    • WWNO ~ Walker Wheels Need Oil  
      GGLKI ~ Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
    ·         NCDCWPH ~ Never confuse denture cream with preparation H

     
    J
    J0yce1
    Contributor ⭐⭐
    January 15, 2011

    Old??  Confused??  Text and Tweet with the best of them!!

     

     

    Since seniors are texting and tweeting more and more there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code).  If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you. 
              ATD ~ At The Doctor's
    • BFF ~ Best Friend Farted
    • BTW ~ Bring The Wheelchair
    • BYOT ~ Bring Your Own Teeth
    • CBM ~ Covered By Medicare
    • CUATSC ~ See You At The Senior Center
    • DWI ~ Driving While Incontinent
    • FWB ~ Friend With Beta Blockers
    • FWIW ~ Forgot Where I Was
    • FYI ~ Found Your Insulin
    • GGPBL ~ Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
    • GHA ~ Got Heartburn Again
    • HGBM ~ Had Good Bowel Movement
    • IMHO ~ Is My Hearing-Aid On?
    • LMDO ~ Laughing My Dentures Out
    • LOL ~ Living On Lipitor
    • LWO ~ Lawrence Welk's On
    • OMMR ~ On My Massage Recliner
    • OMSG ~ Oh My!  Sorry, Gas!
    • ROFL-CGU ~ Rolling On The Floor Laughing-Can't Get Up
    • SGGP ~ Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
    • TTYL ~ Talk To You Louder
    • WAITT ~ Who Am I Talking To?
    • WTFA ~ Wet The Furniture Again
    • WTP ~ Where's The Prunes?
    • WWNO ~ Walker Wheels Need Oil  
      GGLKI ~ Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In
    ·         NCDCWPH ~ Never confuse denture cream with preparation H

     
    B
    BonnieC10Author
    Community Champion ⭐⭐
    January 15, 2011

    WARNING....

    Thought I'd better warn you. I just got scammed out of $25.

    Bought the Tiger Woods DVD "My Favorite 18 Holes."

    Turns out it's about golf......

    Absolute waste of money.   

    nell2
    nell2
    Contributor ⭐⭐
    January 15, 2011

    In Response to Share a joke by J0yce1

            LOL ~ Living On Lipitor 

     

    B
    BonnieC10Author
    Community Champion ⭐⭐
    January 17, 2011

    In Response to Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

     

    A former Infantry Soldier, having served his time with the Army, took a new job as a school teacher.

    Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't even noticeable.

    On the first day of school, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school.

    The smart aleck punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Soldier, were leery of him, and decided to see how tough he really was before trying any pranks.

    Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk...

    When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took a stapler and stapled it to this chest.

    He had no trouble with discipline that year....

    B
    BonnieC10Author
    Community Champion ⭐⭐
    January 18, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                   PRAYER FOR THE NEW YEAR

     

    Dear God.....

    For 2011 all I ask for is a big fat bank account, and a slim body.

    Please do not mix up the two like you did last year!

    Thank you God !     

     

    B
    BonnieC10Author
    Community Champion ⭐⭐
    January 19, 2011

    In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

    A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life...

    She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband. At stratigic moments she uncrosses her legs...enough times that her husband finally asks.

    "Are you wearing crotchless panties?"

    "Y-E-S," she answers with a seductive smile.

    "Thank God !  I thought you were sitting on the cat!"

    He never heard the gunshot.     

    Terms & ConditionsAccessibility statement