SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by JanieB

JanieB.... MERRY CHRISTMAS  AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND YOURS.  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

MAXINE SAYS:

"I'M SO COLD MY BOOBS ARE CHATTERING !"

"YOU KNOW IT'S A COLD DAY WHEN YOUR TEETH START CHATTERING AND THEY'RE STILL ON THE NIGHTSTAND."

"IT'S NOT REALLY COLD OUT UNTIL THE DOG'S FROZEN HIMSELF TO THE HYDRANT."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Maxine says:

"Christmas is just plain weird...What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree in the living room, and eat candy out of your socks?"   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Joyeux Noel  (French)

Frohe Weihnachten (German)

Natale allegro  ( Italian)

Christmas alegre ( Portugese)

Feliz Navidad ( Spanish)

Mele Kalikimaka  ( Hawaiian)

                     MERRY CHRISTMAS

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

       MERRY CHRISTMAS to all

      My neighbors say~ Feliz Navidad(Spanish)

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

MAXINE SAYS:

"Homemade gifts are the perfect way to say, "I've got lots more time than money."

"Never look a gift horse in the mouth, and don't get too close to the other end either."

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL....

AND A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR !!    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                  ADVICE FOR CHRISTMAS

Please, take care of yourself this Christmas. A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles, indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.

This means that the remaining 77% are caused by a$$holes who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, milk, water and other 'normal' sh-- !

Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol.They cause three times as many accidents.

This message is sent by someone who cares about your well being.     

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 A good oneBonnie lol just-nell

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

It's one day after Christmas

I'm crabby and I'm broke....

I'm so full of ham and fruitcake,

I think I'm gonna croak!

It's nice to see the relatives,

I wonder when they'll leave...

They've been camping in my bathroom,

Since early Christmas Eve.

They're eating everything in sight...

And sleeping in my bed...

I've been sacked out in the basement,

With my beagle, Fred.

The relatives have all gone out,

And left their screaming brats,

The toilet bowl is all plugged up,

And I can't find the cat.

It's Christmastime at my house..

The relatives are here...

They eat me out of house and home,

And drink up all my beer.

I love the decorations..

And the sleigh bells in the snow..

But I wish those pesky relatives,

Would take their kids and go !

Those cookie crunchers fed the dog,

A twenty pound rib roast..

His feet are sticking in the air,

Like a skinny old fence post.

Now they're in a free-for-all...

The girls against the boys..

They're fighting over boxes..

'cause they're bored with all their toys!

My mother-in-law is snoring..

In my favorite TV chair.

Those kids are stringing lights on her,

And tinseling her hair.

I oughta wake her up..

Before the fireworks begin..

But I wanna see those blue sparks fly..

When they plug her in !  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Please take care of yourself this Christmas.

A recent joint study conducted by the Dept. of Health and the Dept. of Motor Vehicles, indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol-related.

This means that the remaining 77% are caused by a$$holes who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, milk, water, and other 'normal' sh--!

Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents!