SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

MY NEXT LIFE

By George Carlin

I want to live my next life backwards.

You start out dead and get that out of the way...

Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until your too young to work.

You get ready for High School, drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.

Then you become a baby, and then....

You spend the last 9 months floating  peacefully in luxury, in Spa-like conditions..central heating, room service on tap, and then.................

you finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Reverend Ole is the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and Pastor Sven
is the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road.
     One day they were seen pounding a sign into the ground, that said:

                                        DA END ISS NEAR!
                    TURN YERSELF AROUNT NOW BAFOR IT'S TOO LATE!

     As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled,  “Leave me
alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!"
     From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash...
     Rev. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks,  "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say,
Bridge Out?”

-- 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Reverend Ole is the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and Pastor Sven
is the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road.
     One day they were seen pounding a sign into the ground, that said:

                                        DA END ISS NEAR!
                    TURN YERSELF AROUNT NOW BAFOR IT'S TOO LATE!

     As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled,  “Leave me
alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!"
     From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash...
     Rev. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks,  "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say,
Bridge Out?”

-- 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

BONNIE:  I hope the Ole and Sven Joke I just posted doesn't come up double (twice).  It would be nice if it appeared at least once, though.  I attempted to copy-and-paste it but couldn't find it afterwards.  Even leaving the AARP site and coming back later, I was unable to find it.

BTW, Bonnie, your stick-to-it-ive-ness is admirable.  Please know at least Nell, Photogal and I keep an eye on what is posted here. 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by Hal

Hi Hal ~

Hey, thanks for posting, even if it did show up twice....LOL   I'm hoping folks get a giggle or two even though they do not give any input. Once again, thanks for checking in.

Bonnie

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by Ha

Last night I was talking to a young , good looking woman. She asked me if I like breasts or legs....I told her what I REALLY liked was a shaved snatch.

Apparently I'm not welcome at KFC any more.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                 REMEMBER THE VETERANS

It's the SOLDIER, not the reporter, that gives you freedom of the press.

It's the SOLDIER, not the poet, who gives you freedom of speech.

It's the SOLDIER, not the organizer who allows you to demonstrate.

It's the SOLDIER , who salutes the flag, whose coffin is draped with the flag, who allows the protestor to burn the flag....!!

Thank you to all the SOLDIERS and all their familes for all their sacrificies.   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A man...

A Miss...

A car....

A curve....

He kissed the Miss, and missed the curve.

Burma Shave

******************************************************************

"When everything is coming your way, You're in the wrong lane."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Burma Shave-    lol

I haven't been able to sign-in

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Hi Nell... glad to see you back.