An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice...

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...."YES! YES! I WON, I WON !!"

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know....I thought you were watching."

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BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Like the gold of the sun....

the light of the day...

May the luck of the Irish,

shine bright on your way.

Like the glow of a star....

and the lilt of a song...

May these be your joys...

All your life long.

B

BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

In a tiny village on the Irish coast, lived an old lady, a virgin and proud of it....

Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker ( who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make proper 'final' arrangements. As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:

" BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN "

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker (postal clerk) went to prepare the tombstone that the lady requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone that she had selected was too small for the wording she had chosen.

For days he agonized over the dilemna. But finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem....

The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows:

"RETURNED UNOPENED"

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BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE SUNSHINE TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY....

MAY YOUR GLASS ALWAYS BE FULL...

MAY YOU ALWAYS HAVE A HAND TO HOLD...

MAY YOU ALWAYS HOLD A COIN OR TWO.

B

BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A BIG CYBER WELCOME TO LOUISIE !

B

BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cussed her.

"Where have ye been, all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mother thru?"

The girl, crying, replied.."Sniff,sniff.... Dad..I became a prostitute.."

"Ye what? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner ! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family!"

"OK dad...as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion, plus a $5million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex watch. And for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club......(takes a breath)..... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve aboard my new yacht in the Riviera and......

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?"says dad.

Girl crying again... "Sniff, sniff... a prostitute sniff,sniff......

"Oh Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Prostestant. Come here and give yer old dad a hug!"

B

BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

An American golfer, playing in Ireland, hooked his drive into the woods..

Looking for his ball, he found a little leprechaun flat on his back , with a big bump on his head.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.

"Arrgh! What happened?" the little guy asked. "I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball," the golfer says.

"Oh, I see. Well ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so waddya want?"

"Thank God you're all right!" the golfer answers in relief. "I don't want anything. I'm just glad you're OK and I apologize" And the golfer walks off.

"What a nice guy." The leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him three things I would want....a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."

A year goes by and the American golfer is back. On the same hole, he again drives the ball into the woods, and the leprechaun is waiting there for him.

"Twas me that made ye hit the ball here", the little guy says. "I just want to ask ye how's your golf game?"

"My game is fantastic!" the golfer replies. "I'm an internationally famous golfer now."

"And how's ye money situation?"

"Why it's just wonderful! When I need cash I just reach into my pocket and pull $100 bills. I didn't even know were there."

"I did that fer ye. And how is your sex life?"

The golfer blushes and turns his head... "It's OK"

"C'mon now" "I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?" asks the little guy.

Blushing even more , the golfer looks a round and whispers, "Once, sometimes twice a week."

"What?? That's all?" Only once or twice a week?"

"Well," says the golfer, "I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest of a small parish."

B

BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A best friend is like a 4 leaf clover...

Hard to find,

And lucky to have.

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