SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

This is a concept I have been developing over the past several years and wanted to get your impressions as am sure it applies to others besides me.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by J0yce1

Thank you Joyce for your post. In the future, however, please watch the language.

Bonnie

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

I have a new neighbor. She lives right across the street from me. I can see her condo from my deck.

I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. She knocked on the door and I rushed to open it.

She looked at me and said, "I just got home and I have the this strange urge to have a good time.... Are you busy tonight?"

I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free. I have no plans at all." Then she said, "Good ! In that case could you watch my dog?"   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Father O'Malley answers the phone. "Hello, is this father O'Malley?"

"It is!"

"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"

"I can !"

"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"

"I do !"

"Is he a member of your congregation?"

"He is!"

"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"

"He will."   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

               HOW IRISH ARE YOU?

How can you tell when an Irishman is having a good time?

ans:  He's Dublin over with laughter.

What's Irish and stays out all night?

ans:  Pati O'Furniture!

What's an Irish windbreaker?

ans:  Someone who's had too much corned beef and cabbage!    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A drunk staggers into a catholic church, enters the confessional booth, sits down and says nothing....

The priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin', there's no paper on this side either."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

"May the wind

at your back,

not be the result

of the corn beef and cabbage

you had for lunch..    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

May your pockets be heavy...

And your heart be light..

May good luck

Pursue you..

Each morning and night.  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

It was Paddy and Seamus giving the motorcycle a ride on a brisk autumn day. After a wee bit, Paddy, who was sittin' behind Seamus on the bike, began to holler..... "Seamus, Seamus... the wind is cuttin' me chest out !"

"Well, Paddy my lad..." said Seamus, "Why don't you take your jacket off and turn it from front to back....that'll clock the wind for you."

So Paddy took Seamus' advice and turned his jacket from front to back and got back on and the two of them were down the road again.

After a bit, Seamus turned to talk to Paddy, and was horrified to see that Paddy was not there. Seamus immediately turned the bike around retraced his route.

When after a short ride he came to a turn and saw a bunch of farmers standing around Paddy who was sitting on the ground.

"T'anks be to heaven, is he alright?" Seamus hailed to the farmers.

"Well," said one of the farmers," he was alright when we found him here....but since we turned his head back to front, he hasn't said a word since!"     

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

What's the difference between a Northern Fairy tale, and a Southern fairy tale?

A Northern fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time." and a Southern fairy tale begins, "You ain't gonna believe this sh-- !  "