Caregiving

This is what I suffer from....on top of being dx with PTSD. The losses are not the cause of the PTSD....It started with losing my middle daughter at 21 in a horrific car accident...took me 25 years to fully grieve her loss...Between losing my daughter and my second husband on her birthday 13 years later at 54 to lung cancer....I lost my only sister to suicide....and 3 of my closest friends of life....when my husband passed so young I found myself really alone....I tried everything, nothing worked for long....My first husband and I always remained friends since we dated 4 years before we married and had a very tight bond, and my second husband and him liked each other...so when my second husband passed, my first became closer and closer as we used to be...just the friendship , not the relationship...He was a Viet Nam vet who had PTSD when he went in the service and of course Nam made it worse..by 40 his drinking escalated...at one point I couldn't live his life and he couldn't live mine

Parkinson's Foundation Expert Briefing: Sleep Challenges with Parkinson's DiseaseA good night’s sleep is critical to our health and well-being. For people with Parkinson’s, sleep is more important as the brain and body need more time to restore. Join the Parkinson's Foundation next Wednesday, May 8th to learn about the common sleep issues associated with Parkinson's disease, how it affects sleep quality, and explore ways to get a better night's sleep while living with PD. To register for FREE, click here. Date: Wednesday, May 8, 2024Time: 1:00pm-2:00pm ET Speaker:Aleks Videnovic, MD, MScDirector, Division of Sleep Medicine, Massachusetts General HospitalProfessor of Neurology, Harvard Medical School

@SummerOnTheWay1 . Nicole, I just had the greatest 3 hours. My male BFF came into town and I had not seen him since 2016. We spent the last 3 hours together and it was like time rewound itself back 40 years.  That is the best thing that has happened for a long time. It also made me so HAPPY, LOVED and the most awesome time.  I am so glad to say that for the first time, I actually cried from joy and not grief or sorrow.  BEST DAY EVER.

I am enjoying Spring more than I remember.  I am more aware of the small yet sweet signs of Spring reawakening.  Trees sending out blossoms, bulbs shooting up, birds singing their songs, weather becoming warmer.  All signs of life’s rejuvenation.  It will not be the same Spring as prior years, nor should it be.  A new season also called Spring.  I am finding it inspiring that Nature continues despite losses and hardships.  There seems to be an innate spirit to create and prorogate as is necessary to continue life.  I started thinking that is where I am now as well.  I am recreating and rejuvenating.  Like past “Springs” but different.  Not surprising but necessary as I adjust to the new “Season of my Life.”  I am getting out and enjoying these wonders.  Life is responding with resilience and determination, despite setbacks of cold weather, pests, predators, etc.  Like us.  I am striving for that natural harmony

  With Coronavirus hitting and visitation bans being common, the possibility of putting remote cameras in loved ones rooms has renewed interest. This would give families to check up on their loved ones.    How would you feel about legislation that would allow for this to happen? 

Here he is in his favorite position and all his glory.   

My name is Lon and I am a 83 year old well traveled single male living alone in a one bed room/ one bath/living room/ kitchenette at a very nice Assisted Living Facility. Imade the arrangements for living here by my self instead of a Caretaker doing it. I would like to share some ideas with caretakers and other Forum members that currently reside in a AL Facility. First---Let me just say to those of you in your 50's 60's & 70's. KEEP AND EXPAND YOUR COMPUTER, I PHONE SKILLS. It will make getting old so much eaiser and rewarding.    

It has been a while since I posted on the AARP Grief Forum.  Like everything else since my husband died, the experience has been difficult, lonely, and sometimes unexpected. I am at a stage where I am now starting to redefine my new single identity.  Not easy and the only advice I can give is to stay true to yourself and interact with like-minded individuals if you can.  That has worked for me.  I am also venturing out with married individuals and that has been a challenge in some cases. What works is finding an activity that you enjoy and find folks that share your interests.  Social events can be tricky if there is only “idle” chit chat or complaints about their married lives.  I often feel like saying that this is their time to enjoy each other and not take anything for granted.  Of course, I bite my tongue and do not say it.  What a waste of precious time together for them.  Unfortunately, I probably was guilty of that as well to some ex

@SummerOnTheWay1. Nicole,  thanks for checking in on me. I know that I haven't posted or responded in a long time and I am sorry.  I am going through a really rough patch right now. I am very depressed, angry and anxious all at once. There is just a lot going on with my family and my Mom. We had an appointment for her at the memory clinic and she didn't do well. We now have to go for an MRI of her brain.  She has been diagnosed with mild dementia and other unknown cognitive disorders. My Mom is the only parent that I have left and I will always be there for her. My brother is retiring from the fire department and is probably moving to Florida as soon as possible so that he doesn't have to be responsible for anything to do with her but, he will quickly get back to get her money when God calls her home. It's sad to say that he has always wanted that upper class status. Maybe that's why he is on his fourth wife. I also want to thank everyone else who has messaged me and sho

So, I live in Maryland and just received a weather alert that the storm system moving through Texas is headed our way. Warnings indicate heavy rain,  wind and the chance of tornadoes.  We have had SO much rain that if they try to say we have a shortage this summer that I literally would like to go through the TV and choke the first one who says it,  LOL. 

Greeting, I'm starting my grief journey and now in my fourth week. The house is empty as is much of my day.  How long does the loneliness last?  I do talk to friends and family but its not the same. Bill

There’s plenty you can do to help them live their best life. By Kim Painter. Published February 12, 2024. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/health/info-2024/diabetes-caregiver.html 

My husband died a week before Christmas, and I don't know how to cope with it. It seems to get harder everyday. We were married for 40 years, it hurts so much what do I do

Two Beautiful Moving Eulogies1) Cher movingly eulogizes her ex-husband, who tragically died in a skiing accident.You can find it on You Tube, by searching this title:  "CNN-SONNY BONO FUNERAL-1/9/98-CHER EULOGY"++++2) Kevin Costner eulogizes his co-star and close friend, Whitney HoustonYou can find it on You Tube, by searching this title:  "Kevin Costner Whitney Houston's Funeral You'll Be Good Enough"Beautiful and moving.  They met while making the movie.  Both preacher's kids, they shared stories and became close friends. 

Hi, I'm new here and did a little searching and couldn't find anything directly relevant. Just a few articles and comments about how expensive it is to be a caregiver. Sorry if this is too long or in the wrong place. My mother, who lives at home alone in another city in the same state, is starting cancer treatment. She might be able to get some caregiving through Medicare or long-term care disability insurance but not both at the same time. She does NOT qualify for Medicaid and is NOT a Veteran. She may have applied to a state agency, I don't know. She's very overwhelmed and fearful, but also resistant to help while clearly needing it and is not transparent with her finances. However, she very quickly will probably need 24-hour care, maybe semi-skilled nursing, including a petsitter, and possibly hospitalization. Neighbors and  family members not very nearby might provide some help, but it likely won't be enough. I heard years ago there was a program that would reim

FROM THE ARTICLE - READ ARTICLE FOR MORE. Nearly 1 in 10 Americans aged 65 and older are living today with dementia — a disease that has special challenges for family caregivers. Learn about the symptoms, types and early warning signs of dementia and emerging treatments. Get expert advice and tips on the best ways to communicate, establish routines and keep your loved one safe. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/dementia-caregiving-guide/

My husband of 43 years passed away on Christmas morning here in our home. He had heart disease but was recently assured by his doctors at Stanford that he would feel much better after undergoing a valve replacement procedure that was scheduled for Jan. 12th. His death was a real shock to me as I spoke with him only 20 minutes before he passed. I gave him CPR until the paramedics arrived and worked on him for 45 minutes, but he could not be revived. I am doing pretty well during the day, but around 4:30 in the evening I feel very lonely and anxious about my future to the point that I feel shaky inside. This goes on for the next four hours or so. I am sleeping well because I am getting up around 5 or 5:30 every morning. Does anyone have any ideas on how to stop my mind from going out of control?

Can a physician use the MA 51 medical evaluation form in PA to commit to a nursing home when the patient is there short term for rehabilitation?

I am quite confident that a Walk In Tub is best for me. I love the therapeutical Benefits and prefer this however am having trouble choosing between them.

Hi I'm new.  My mother-in-law is in Canada and is starting to need a lot of help.  She is losing her short term memory, and her judgement is impaired.  I'm in the US and trying to get her access to whatever services or other help she can get where she lives in Ontario.  We can't move to Canada because we don't have a way to make a living there, and she can't move here because she would have no access to health care.  Has anyone here had any sort of similar experience, and if so, could you provide some helpful advice or links to resources?  Thanks

I think The Final Goodbye is the hardest, and most challenging part of an impending passing. I realized I was stuffing this inside of me. That I wasn't there at the exact time of death. A half hour late. I was wondering how others are dealing with their Final Goodbyes.  

Volunteering, like joining a grief support group, is an important question and ultimately a personal decision.  A lot depends on whether you are ready to become a volunteer and what you are interested in doing.  Try something you would enjoy and see if it works.  Recognize your strengths and limitations.  If you are home-bound, there are virtual volunteer activities out there that are rewarding.  See how it goes.  If it works, good.  If not, feel free to see what would be a better fit for you.  Like most things I experienced on this grievance journey, there are no right or wrong answers.  Like the road we are all traveling, there may a need for a course correction to get a better feel for what we want to do with our time and interests.  Good luck to all.  Sue

My mom is 94 and her hearing is getting increasingly worse.  She has signia bluetooth hearing aides and actually adjusts the hearing aides using her cell phone.  She really prefers to use her hard line phone at home.  We bought one from Harris Communications back in 2019.  It is a panasonic KX-TGM420W amplified phone and they said it works with hearing aides.  Her audiologist said no hard line phones work with hearing aides.  The phone seemed to work ok for a while but now we need to get her one that works for her decreased hearing.  She is against those phones that have the captioning and just wants something simple to work.  Has anyone found a phone that works with hearing aides?  To be honest, even I have a hard time understanding the message machine that comes with it.  It is very muffled.  Thanks for any feedback

I highly recommending subscribing to Good News, an online periodical.  Cannot really remember subscribing, but there it was one day.  Another random act?  I have many over the last few years, and often from unexpected strangers (perhaps Angels?).  They have made a difference and often helped me see my situation differently and kindlier.  The word “kind” is a gentle word with much in depth meaning.  The article I received today from Good News points out the history of Random Acts of Kindness, its origins in California, and how to sustain the “good” feeling throughout the year.  Ironically, the best thing for me as one grieving my lifelong soulmate has been becoming a comforter, friend, and welcomer.  I gradually evolved into that role, and it helps me see the world from a bigger picture.  Gratitude and generosity make a difference.  I started one tiny step at a time, often anonymously but always feeling better later.  Humility has h

I decided to reach out to my Partner in Loss group in case they have any special interests or needs as we approach this day.  I was primarily thinking of any additional support from the rest of us. Like many of the other previous holidays since my husband died, I have to admit I really don’t remember how or if I celebrated the day of our “engagement.”  This year, I am feeling more aware of the holidays and am now thinking of Valentine’s Day or V-Day as a close friend of mine coined.  It is an interesting way to look at the day. V-Day reminds me more about victory over a war. Perhaps this day is a victory as well.  Victory over the great pain of loss?  Don’t know. I say that knowing that the pain only morphs or softens in some way, but will always be there.  I’d be interested in knowing how you view V-Day and if you want to share any meaning or activity you have planned. If you don’t, that’s ok too.  Have a good weekend.  Your friend, Sue 💕