Caregiving

I have been contributing to the AARP Grief Forum for 3 years withfocus on holiday and other life events.  As you all know, the holidayscan be very trying with or without family.  Over the last severalyears, I have seen some changes on how I view the holidays and whatrole I want to play.  That is probably an experience many of you whoare grieving have also seen.  How we "celebrate" the special days,including anniversaries, is very different for each of us.  I hopethat you can remember the happy days as well as find a new solo pathtoday.  It is helpful to reestablish equilibrium.  You are not thesame person who was the caregiver, the person who lost his/her lovedone or the person today.  That may seem scary, but it is really anatural transformation.  Reflection with meaningful social interactionwill help get you through these times.  It is ok to limit youractivities or time spent with friends and family.  It will take timeto readjust

  What are the requirements for a nursing home to get replacement dentures for a patient that has broken theirs?  My aunt is in a nursing home (Medicare & Medicaid) and has broken her upper plate. Her weight has now dropped to 87lbs and the nursing home is saying it's not their responsibility.  HELP!  

Who and how do I pay taxes on the interest of a irrevocable trust?  The trust is to support the expenses to take care of my 92 year old mother in assisted living.  I would control those funds.   My mother is 92 and lives alone at home.  She is ready to move to a assisted living facility.  I received the following advice/info from a family law paralegal friend:   She is currently qualified for Medicaid, but she will lose that eligibility when she sells the house.  Its been recommended she take the profits from her home (300k) and create a IRREVOCABLE Trust with myself as the beneficiary/control of funds.  The purpose of creating a trust is to satisfy the 5 year lookback for Florida Medicaid eligibility IF she needs Medicaid AFTER the trust has existed for 5 years.   Im trying learn more about the tax ramifications.  Would this normally be a GRANTOR or NON-GRANTOR type ?  If it has its own TAX, what is t

I know one of the last things, at least for me, was thinking about life or style for that matter, after my husband died.  I was living day to day, at least aware of staying hydrated.  The rest of the well-being necessities – eating a balanced diet, exercise, mobility, sleep, relaxation, etc, has been kicking in over time.  It is a struggle, with many mixed emotions.  However, it is important to do this for the most important person in your life – YOU.  You deserve to be healthy within your own body and mind.  This is different for everyone but there are some basics we know.  So, while we are emotionally healing, please don’t forget the physical side.   If so inclined, embrace the spiritual side as well.  I have found that being more faith-connected has helped to ground me and realize I am not alone.  I wish you all the best as you rebuild your life after the death of your loved one.  Eventually, you may do this with some style

Managing urinary incontinence can be challenging, especially when navigating the complexities of Medicare coverage for solutions like the PureWick® Urine Collection System. This non-invasive system offers a hygienic and comfortable alternative to traditional methods, but understanding whether it's covered under Medicare can save you both time and money.Here’s a quick summary of what you should know:Medicare Part B: Covers 80% of the cost for Durable Medical Equipment (DME) like external catheters if deemed medically necessary.PureWick Coverage: While Original Medicare doesn't routinely cover PureWick, some Medicare Advantage plans may include it as a supplemental benefit.Tips to Save: Explore Medicaid benefits, private insurance options, or manufacturer discounts to make the system more affordable.Want to dive deeper into how Medicare can support your needs for urinary incontinence devices like PureWick?👉 Read the full guide here: Medicare Coverage for PureWickIf you have questions or

 KFF Health News 12/02/2024 - Homebound Seniors Living Alone Often Slip Through Health System’s Cracks  Across the country, about 2 million adults 65 and older are completely or mostly homebound, while an additional 5.5 million seniors can get out only with significant difficulty or assistance. This is almost surely an undercount, since the data is from more than a dozen years ago. It’s a population whose numbers far exceed those living in nursing homes — about 1.2 million — and yet it receives much less attention from policymakers, legislators, and academics who study aging. Consider some eye-opening statistics about completely homebound seniors from a study published in 2020 in JAMA Internal Medicine: Nearly 40% have five or more chronic medical conditions, such as heart or lung disease. Almost 30% are believed to have “probable dementia.” Seventy-seven percent have difficulty with at least one daily task such as bathing or dressing. Almost 40% live by t

My husband of 45 years died alone with our border collie Sadie by his side on December 4th.  I was out of town to visit a grandson.  I FaceTime my husband the night before.  He wasn’t feeling good.  I convinced him to go to the doctor the next morning.  When I called the next morning he didn’t answer.  The neighbors went to check on him for me and found him passed.  It was totally unexpected.  Possibly an Aneurysm took him at 65 years old!  185lbs, physically fit and had dreams to many to list.  He had yet to collect his pensions.  My two adult sons don’t want me home alone.  I’m not sure I believe he’s gone.  I feel guilty I wasn’t with him when he died and feel guilty I’m getting his pensions that he deserved to spend on his dreams.  Then add on the huge void in my life and my aching heart.  What more can I handle.  I’m so numb and sad. 

*** 1 Comment on the AARP Website. Stop by to read comments & add yours. *** FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! How to Manage Sibling Relationships Strained by Family Caregiving. Experts say the key to handling family discord is for parents to make caregiving wishes and expectations known early. By Christine A. Di Pasquale, AARP. Published November 25, 2024. Sarah Ferguson* had a close relationship with her only sister until their mother’s health declined and her sister became involved with a man who seemed more interested in their mother’s money than in her well-being. “It just got very ugly when he was in the picture and he was trying to, I think, keep [my sister] away from me and my family,” explains Ferguson, 59. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/life-balance/info-2024/manage-sibling-conflict-relationships.html

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My wife is starting to act strangely? But, first you need some background about her. Back in March of this year she had Colon Cancer surgery, So has a very low tolerance to pain and is very vocal when something is hurting her such as a scream or yells out loudly. She ended up in the hospital for 30 days when they thought she would be out in a normal case in 3 to 5 days. No to present Nov. 2024. She just had right hip replacement surgery and was sent home the same day, I am trying my best as her husband to care for her alone, but now she seems to be very glassy eyed and can't think of words she is trying to say. She is sleeping in a separate bed and she called out for me and she doesn't remember doing it, This was in the middle of the night. Also her Mother had Dementia too. Suggestions are welcomed. Worried Husband 

I just joined AARP today and was looking through the forums I'm not sure if this is the right place to post or not but I am new here and looking forward to getting to know you all.  I am currently in the hospital and have been for nearly 3 months now I cannot wait to get home (hopefully within the next day or two) and get on a tablet that I can use a lot better than this one.   Take care everyone. Dixie 

It has been some time since I shared thoughts as we all go through our grievance journey.  Although it has now been 3 years since my husband died, I still miss him as I continue as a single person (still hard to say the word).  I have been somewhat successful in building new memories and friendships.  I noticed that I have more "better days" now and at times feel more fulfilled and self-confident.  Long journey.  As I have already shared, take your time as you relaunch and take small comfortable steps.  I gradually started to plan and attend social functions with the goal of one a month.  These social events are not too long or ambitious until I see how it goes.  The right company matters, and I am getting good at identifying kindred spirits along the way.  Try new things if you are inclined.  My life has been truly a balance of reflecting, learning and trying some new activities.  My tree last year and some modest decorations set

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! AARP's New Military Caregiving Guide: Essential Resources for Veteran Caregivers. Navigate challenges and find resources, step-by-step. By Amy Goyer, AARP. Published November 12, 2024. In the 1980s, I cared for my grandfather, C. V. Goyer, a veteran of World War I, World War II and the Korean War, and more than 20 years later, I cared for my dad, Robert Goyer, a WWII and Korean War veteran. Throughout both experiences, I often struggled to find support. When caring for my grandfather, resources were limited. By the time I was caring for my dad, there was more support, especially from the VA, but I spent countless hours navigating his benefits, applying for them and managing them — often an arduous and frustrating process. Since Dad’s passing in 2018, support for veterans and their caregivers has expanded even further. That’s why I felt so passionate about updating AARP’s Military Caregiving Guide for Veterans, Service

 It's been a rough  5 years for me and my husband.  We married late in life, he was a 47 year old bachelor when we married in 2011. Neither of us had children, and we've been happy, well as happy as "normal" married couples. This all started with my mother's sudden death in early May of 2019.  Undiagnosed pancreatic cancer took her in 2.5 weeks once we found out.  The following May, my aunt (mom's only sister) passed followed by my mother-om-law the very next day.  Aunt-bone cancer, MIL-stroke.  Later that year, in December, my sister-in-law (husband's brother's wife) passed from sepsis.  April of 2022, My husband's sister passed from kidney transplant failure and strokes.  Last September my father-in-law passed from a gallbladder infection.  That was all very hard to deal with in such a short time, but we thought we were done with all the grief for at least a few years.  This was not to be. On July 18th of this year, my

I know my husband helps me often from Heaven.  I was very dependent on him, but I know he is helping me because I am doing all the things I need to do and handling it all well.  My family and friends are in awe of how well I am managing the day to day things you have to do. As for signs, I was once going to put on a Rod Stewart CD but then remembered it had a scratch on it.  My husband was with me when I bought it years ago - my first CD ever.  But I realized it was damaged, so I put the radio on and on it was playing a Rod Stewart song.  I firmly believe it was a sign.  

I'm so overwhelmed and hoping someone can point me in the right direction. My parents are at the point where they need either in-home care or assisted living options, and while I can certainly research local assisted living options on my own, I have no idea where to even begin to look for other programs or options that could help them. I'm not sure if a home aid is better, and how to find someone who isn't going to take advantage, steal from them, or treat them poorly. In addition to VA benefits, is anyone familiar with any Florida programs that can assist with expenses, anyone that can help me ensure that they will not being taken advantage of when it comes to any contracts they need to sign, and any direction or insight or a step-by-step for how to help them in general? Is there a program that helps explain options to me so that I can explain it to them?

  October 28, 2024 I am a senior, living alone in Philadelphia. I am scheduled for Cataract Surgery at Wills Eye Hospital, on Nov 25. The hospital requires me to have a pickup after surgery. If I don't have anybody to pick me up, the hospital will not allow the surgery!  I need help. I am willing to pay for the service.

As I mentioned, we knew this was coming. Husband has Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease, meaning he has extreme weakness in his limbs and can't stand unassisted. He also has epilepsy, is legally blind and has macular degeneration plus other eye issues. All of this has been ongoing and worsening in the 26 years we've been married. We married late in life -- I was 38, he was 45 -- and lived alone before then. Now I'm facing living alone again, while also worrying about finances, and helping him as best I can from a distance of sorts. One thing in the facility's favor is that it's only about 10 minutes away by bus, so we can see each other fairly frequently and of course we can talk by phone as necessary. My problem is that I am having a very hard time managing by myself. Without having someone else to care for, it's really difficult for me to care about taking care of myself. I am trying to stay fairly positive by saying some costs will go down -- he won't be at home all day so the electri

Does anyone have any information on similar organizations that exist outside the USA?  I'm looking for help for a mother in Spain that refuses to come back to USA.

I was hoping that having been though this before, I would have an easier time of it this time, but apparently this looks just like the last time. I'm walking around in a fog.  So I just have to be kind to myself. Take plenty of walks (sunshine helps). Eat healthy (I lost 20 lbs while caretaking) Sleep if I can when I can. And find support... here I am.

Lost someone special recentially.

My beautiful daughter Tiana Dye age 21yrs old life was cut too short. She was a Honor student at Alabama State University. She was murdered Sunday 07/14/24. I'm so heartbroken, my world has been turned upside down since I got that call she was gone forever. No parent should have to bury their children. My daughter was sent off to college to come back with a degree not a death certificate. Please Google Tiana Dye Alabama. Share her story, say her name, and pray for our family! We need justice for Tiana! 💔 💔 💔 

Hey everyone!I'm taking the initiative to start a conversation about something we all love and use: the bathtub! Now, I'm not just looking for tips on how to relax with a good book in the tub. I want to dig deeper and learn from your experiences. We all know that sometimes, despite our love for a long, soothing bath, we encounter a few hiccups. So, I'm turning to you, our community of bathers, to share your stories.Bathtub Design Dilemmas: Have you ever struggled with a bathtub that's too small or too awkwardly shaped for a good soak? Let's talk about those design flaws!Water Temperature Woes: We've all been there—adjusting the temperature over and over, only to end up with a lukewarm bath. How have you dealt with finicky faucets or temperature control issues?Slippery Slope: Safety first, right? But what do you do when your bathtub turns into an ice rink after just a few minutes of use? Any tips on how to stay safe without sacrificing comfort?The Drain Game: We've all been there: the w

TO EVERYONE WHO LOST SOMEONE THEY CARED ABOUT - you are in my thoughts today. So sorry for your loss dear friend. Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

I'm in a really tough spot. I'm 24 years old and I'm my dad's caregiver. My mom got diagnosed with brain cancer when I was 19 and I was her caregiver for a year up until she passed away. This really did a number on me mentally since I had to watch my mom deteriorate each day until she passed away. I had to drop out of college at the time, but was happy to do so to take care of my mom.My dad got a heart attack about 1 year after my mom passed away and was just doing awful at the time. I dropped out to work full time to help out. My dad ended up getting a severe second heart attack a couple months later and ended up in the hospital in a coma with most of his organs failing. The doctors thought he wouldn't even make it the night, but thankfully fought through one very tough year in the hospital. I was in a long distance relationship at the time and my boyfriend ended up moving to my state and living with me(we ended up having to move apartments since my rent was insanely high) to help me