SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

3.    What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and grey when you throw it away?

ans:   Charcoal , as used in barbecuing.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

4.    Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday,Friday,or Sunday?

ans:

Sure you can name 3 consecutive days....yesterday,today and tomorrow.. 

5.  This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still might not find anything odd.

ans:

The letter "e" which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.

Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes...

Suddenly she stopped and starred at the ground..he went over to see what work of God had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. She said, "Daddy, what are those spiders doing?... "They are mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top?" She asked. "A Daddy  Long Legs" he replied. "So...  the other one is a "Mommy Long Legs?" the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with joy at such a cute and innocent question, he replied. "No, dear. Both of them are Daddy Long Legs."

The little girl looked puzzled, thought about it for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped them flat !

"Well," she said, "That may be okay in California, but we're not having any of that s--- in Texas !!"     

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A Baptist minister was presenting a children's sermon. During the service, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. A little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him and the little boy said.........

"I know if you have a resurrection that lasts 4 hours, you're supposed to call the doctor."

It took over 10 minutes for the congregation to settle down from laughing. Now who says TV isn't educational?  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY !

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper, groceries are heavier. And everything is farther away? Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our streets have become!

Even mirrors are not made the way they used to be, Everyone drives so fast these days ! All I can say is their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror...

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days too. The dresses that were once labeled 10 or 12, is now 18 or 20 ! 

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Who do they think they are kidding?

The telephone company is in on it too they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there ! 

                WE ARE UNDER ATTACK ! 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

         HAPPY GROUND HOG DAY !

He didn't see his shadow, so that means an early spring...

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Maxine says......

"The Super Bowl charges 4 million dollars for a 30 second spot.  Who so they think they are lawyers?"  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

An elderly couple, Lucy and John, were recently attending church services .

About half way through the service, Lucy took out a pen and wrote a note and handed it to John. The note said:

"I just let out a 'silent fart', what should I do?"

John scribbled back.......

"Put a new battery in your hearing aid."  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her...

I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

My young Grandson called me yesterday to wish me a Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was and I told him 72. My grandson was quiet for a moment and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"