SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Canine Complex

 A man walked into the office of an eminent psychiatrist and sat down to explain his problem.

 "Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!"

 "A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Relax. Come here and lie down on the couch."

 "Oh no, Doctor," the man said nervously, "I'm not allowed up on the furniture."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

How clever was that!    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A little known Fact:

The first testicular guard, the 'cup', was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.

That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important!

Ladies....... quit laughing!      

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

               I'M NOT SHORT, I'M FUN SIZE !

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

 How to Handle Teens- now I know

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

He finally bought a talking centipede ! ( 100 legged bug)

It came in a little white box as it's house. He took it home and thought he would show it off at church. So he asked the centipede if he would like to go to church with him..

There was no answer. He waited a few minutes, and then asked again. "How about going to church with me?" Still no answer.

He decided to wait, and then asked one last time. This time, he put his face up against the house and shouted...
"HEY IN THERE !  WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO CHURCH OR NOT?"

This time a wee little voice answered, "I heard you the first time ! I'm putting on my shoes!"    

A lot of bad things can be said about pedaphiles, but at least they slow down when diving near schools...

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

If you ever get the sudden urge to run around naked...

You should sniff some  Windex first. It will keep you from streaking....

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

I'm getting so old, the candles cost more than the cake....

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you.

God answers "Knee Mail".

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test by the National Health Service, a guy decided to go to have his test done in San Fransico where the beautiful nurses are alledgedly much more gentle and accomodating.

As he lay naked on his side on the table, and the nurse began the exam, the nurse said...

"Don't worry. At this stage of the procedure, it's quite normal to get an erection."

"I don't have an erection." said the man.

"No, but I have." replied the nurse.

Moral:   Don't have the procedure done in San Fransico!