SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Women work all the time......

Men have to put up signs when they work. 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

GENTLE THOUGHTS FOR TODAY-so true

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

Home vs. Prison

In prison, you get your own personal toilet.

I e-mailed this 1 to my Jim-

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

MAXINE SAYS:

"The leaves are falling faster than a politician's approval !"

"I always try to eat a well balanced breakfast. I balance it on my knee while I watch TV."

                 Have a fabulous Friday !   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A beautiful poem about growing old....

CRAP !   I forgot the words .....   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

One night, as a couple lays down for bed,the husband starts rubbing the wife's arm.

The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a GYN appointment tomorrow, and I want to stay fresh."

The rejected husband turns over.

A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.

"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

The blonde who lost the breast stroke competition, complained to the judges that all of the other girls were using their arms! 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked his new employee.

"Yes sir."  answered the employee.

"Well then, that makes everything just fine" . The boss went on, "After you left here early yesterday to attend your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you."   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 breast stroke competition

Good one 

How to Handle Teens

 A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began.

 The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.

 The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing."

 The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trash cans. After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. "This recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans." The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they did accept his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus. A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street.

 "Look," he said, "I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?" "A lousy quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! No way, mister. We quit!" And the old man enjoyed peace.