Community Champion ⭐⭐

SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

Forum|Forum|16 years ago
July 12, 2010
2655 replies
427477 views

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nell2

Contributor ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

The old man in his mid-eighties

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Readhead01

Contributor ⭐

Thanks BonnieC10 and nell2 for making sure we have a "hit' a day. When and if I finally stop working, I will contribute too... but until then, hope you will be able to continue to keep us amused about our state of being.

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BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by Readhead01

Good Morning and Welcome ! I will be away for the next few days, but anyone so inclined can post a giggle or two. Have a nice day , and thanks for posting.

katrinka

Contributor ⭐⭐

Bonnie - I'm not a great source of jokes, but I do enjoy reading yours. They give a smile to the beginning of the day. I'm sure it's quite a job coming up with them regularly. You are appreciated.

Kathy

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J0yce1

Contributor ⭐⭐

A research group was engaged in a study of longevity in mammals and had recently focused their attention on a particular species of porpoise, which they studied from their floating laboratory off the coast of Baja California. They came to believe that, if fed just the right combination of nutrients, this particular porpoise could, in theory, live forever.

To put this to the test, they studied the world's flora and fauna to see if any naturally occurring organism would fit the bill. They finally narrowed the selection down to an unusual species of mynah bird, and they sent a team of researchers off to gather a specimen.

It turns out that the mynah bird in question was quite rare, living only in a single tree in Kenya. The research team finally arrived at the tree to capture a bird, only to find that the tree was surrounded by a pride of very hungry lions, precluding any reasonable attempt to approach and climb the tree.

A suggestion was made that the lions might be manageable if they could be fed, and a couple of fat cape buffalo were captured and offered to the lions. The hungry lions devoured the hapless beasts and lay down upon the grass to digest their meal.

One of the researchers then gingerly tiptoed past the lions, climbed the tree, and had little difficulty capturing one of the mynah birds.

He climbed back down the tree and walked past the lions to rejoin the group, when a game warden appeared and arrested him for violation of the Mann Act, "Transporting mynahs across sated lions for immortal porpoises."

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BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Maya Angelou says, " You can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle three things:

A rainy day

Lost luggage

And tangled Christmas lights.

Oldkayaker

Contributor ⭐

A woman was sipping on a glass of wine while sitting on the patio
with her husband.

She says, "I love you so much. I don't know how I could ever live
without you."

Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"

She replies, "It's me... talking to the wine."

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BonnieC10Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by Oldkayaker

I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite..

I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth.

I tried for this a few more times with no success.All the while, my wife Linda is watching from the kitchen window muttering to herself."How come men have to be told how to do everything?" She opened the window and yelled, "You need a piece of tail!"

I turned with a confused look on my face and said, "Make up your mind. Last night you told me to go fly a kite!"