SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                                     IT'S A SIGN....

                                  AKC

                IT'S ALL ABOUT BITCHES

THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM FOR ALL OF GOD'S CREATURES.. RIGHT NEXT TO THE MASHED POTATOES.

LIKE A CULT, BUT WITHOUT THE ANNUAL SACRIFICE.

                                   MARY KAY

SAY NO TO DRUGS. THAT WAY YOU'LL HAVE MORE TIME TO DRINK BUDWEISER.

DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE..

YOU'LL ONLY SPILL IT.

                           DAISY AIR RIFLES

KEEPING KIDS OFF YOUR LAWN SINCE 1886 !

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet..he asked about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad. Their very strong and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10. a pill!" answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa.

"I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow...

He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10 not $110."

"I know," said Grandpa.

"The hundred is from Grandma."    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

May we all pause and give thanks and remembrance to the many men and women who have fought, and continue to do so, to keep this country free .  A very HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY weekend to all !

                     FREEDOM IS NOT FREE !

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Nowadays 80% of all women are against marriage. Why ??   Because they realize it's not worth buying an entire pig to get a little sausage.   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Bonnie-I need this one80% of all women 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

An old guy, ( not in the best of shape), is working out in the gym. He spots a sweet young thing... he asks the trainer who was nearby, "What machine should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?"

The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby."     

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

FOOL PROOF WAY FOR OLD GUYS TO PICK UP CHICKS......

"I met a girl in the park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us.. She immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at my feet..

As we made love, I thought, "Those taser guns and Viagra are well worth the money !"

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Wine doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean....( against the table, chair, floor and ugly people)..  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                       BURGLARY IN FLORIDA

            (You just can't make this stuff up.)

When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich's house was burglarized, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even his Rolex watch.

What they did take , however, was a generic white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder..They thought it was cocaine and that they had hit the big time. Later, Nathan stood in front of numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars; "Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gerturde. She died three years ago."

The next morning, the bullet riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. The cardboard box was also there, about half of Aunt Gertrude's ashes remained.

Taped to the box was this note:

"Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings."

"Have a nice day."    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?"

He replies, " I'm going to the doctor."

She says,"Why, are you sick?"

He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff." Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put her coat on...

He says, "Where the hell are you going?" She answers, "I'm going to the doctor too." He says, "Why, what do you need?"

She says, "If you're going to start to use that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot !"