SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

I stopped by the Chevrolet dealership yesterday, for a look at the new Silverado 1500 pickup.

Just for the fun of it, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new "feel" before they become extinct...

The salesman ( a black man wearing an Obama 'change' lapel pin) sat in the passenger seat describing the truck and all of it's wonderful options.

The seats were of particular interest.

He explained that the seats directed warm air to your butt in the winter, and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.

Feeling like messing with him, I mentioned that this must be a Republican truck.....

Looking a bit angry, he asked why I thoought it was a Republican truck.

I explained that if it were a Democratic truck, the seats would blow smoke up your a$$ year-round !

I had to walk back to the dealership... damn guy had no sense of humor.    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 Bonnie  - damn guy had no sense of humor-lmbo

Subject: Not Hungry

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                         GAS

                    LOL  9/10

                    OMG  9/10

                    WTF   9/10

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall..

All the King's horses,

And all the King's men...

Had scrambled eggs

For breakfast again.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

       GAS~ all 3 are right lol      nell

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs.. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.

  The Farmers lived sixty miles apart, so they agreed to drive thirty miles each , and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.

The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 a.m. loaded the pigs into his family station wagon, which was the only vehicle he had, and drove the thirty miles.

While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer, "How will I know if they are pregnant?" The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass in the morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not."

The next morning, the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the station wagon, and again proceeded to try again. This continued each morning for more than a week and both farmers were worn out.

The next morning, he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife, "Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or the grass. "Neither!" yelled his wife. "they're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn!!"  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A woman sitting in a restaurant in Australia, suddenly began to cough while eating a giant lobster.

After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress..and two men, Bob and Bill, sitting at the next table turned to look at her.

"Kin you swallow?" asked Bob.

The woman signalled, "No." desperately shaking her head.

"Kin you breathe?" asked Bill.

The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shook her head. "NO!"

With that, Bob walked over to her, lifted up the back of her skirt, yanked down her panties, and slowly ran his tongue up and down the woman's arse crack..

This shocked the woman and she went into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she bagan to breathe again.

Bob swaggered back over to his table and proudly took another drink of his beer.

"Bill, toasting Bob, said in admiration.

"Ya know Bob, I'd heard of that there "Hind Lick Manoeuvre," but I have never seen anybody do it before.... "Well done!"

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

My wife asked me," How many women have you slept with?" I proudly replied, "Only you darling. With all the others, I was awake."

Hospital visiting hours are 10-8

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Women will never be equal to men, until they can walk down the street with a bald head ,a beer gut and still think they are sexy..