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🤗 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)

Forum|Forum|3 years ago
February 3, 2023
973 replies
452329 views

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WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

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SummerOnTheWay1

One Step At A Time 🤗

S

SueS788527

Conversationalist ⭐⭐⭐

Hi, Nicole, there is power in this AARP Grief Forum, and I am happy that you have taken the lead to encourage others to help others. I have found that gratitude and self-less behavior has helped me to heal and not immerse myself in self-pity. We are the village/community with broader reach and potential beyond our own suffering. Love, Sue

SummerOnTheWay1

One Step At A Time 🤗

BeatleloverKT

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

I can definitely take a hint lol. Hoping the hurricanes don’t affect you 🤞🙏

BeatleloverKT

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

This is from October. They are not cooperating on

this trip, well it’s really only one of them lol. Front is Zeke aka Mr. Uncooperative, to left in back is Ned and on the right is Noah 💜💜💜

BillH490171

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

Nice pic and they are an attentive pack...

SummerOnTheWay1

One Step At A Time 🤗

K

KimberlyM389662

Conversationalist ⭐⭐

My daughter is having a cookout Saturday as a meet Beasley and celebrating my 55th birthday. But nothing special on my birthday. I used to work on it unless Labor day fell on it. The only one that was really special was on my 21st. My grandmother promised to take us to dinner wherever I wanted to go. We used to have a restaurant here that had 2 million in artwork back in '89 so can you imagine how much it is worth today? The reason why that was so special was 1-my parents got me a happy birthday bouquet that had a horn and everything. I still have the card and the horn to this day because my Dad died almost 1 month after I turned 21. My dad will be gone 34 years on October 1st. So during dinner my dad and I had a beer. My Dad rarely and I mean rarely drank because his Dad was an alcoholic so that is a good memory for me.

BeatleloverKT

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

@SummerOnTheWay1 I’m glad you got that sorted out. Insurance stuff is a mess. I never believe any letter they send me. The more informed one is, the better. So stressful tho

C

Cadee2719

Community Champion ⭐

I pray that everyone in Florida will be safe from the storm.

jimbohretired

Contributor ⭐⭐

Losing a spouse is tough. I lost the love of my love after 53 years of marriage.

But we had many good years. I am SO thankful that we took SS early (my wife's family did not have longevity. )We were able to travel - road trips, cruises and a couple of trips to Europe. As we aged Jan became less able to travel. Was in a wheel chair whenever we left the home (in the last 7 years). We visited our children many many times over the years either tied to a road trip or flying. Jan was in failing health after her first stroke in 2017 but could continue to be functional. Over the years she had many challenges including a kidney transplant, hip replacement, two strokes, colon cancer, and two broken shoulders from falls. But Jan made the most of it - she was a trooper!!!!! I can not emphasize this enough !!!! Get your "doing" in early as you never know what the future holds. We were lucky to have about 10 great retirement years with lots of blessings over that time.

It does seems that the emptiness of the home and the missing of your loved one never seem to go completely away. I am blessed to have two children close with a third in Chicago. And they are attentive and call often.

One other bit of advice - we purchased long term care insurance that we used for probably 4 years. This allowed us to have caregivers in the home. The cost for the care would have been prohibitive without it (About $6,500 a month)

Lastly I am now without my wife for two years. I have had to push myself to get out of the home. Some of the things that I have done that may help you...

I bike two hours a day -one hour of that with friends-and will often talk to my son for a good part of the other hour.

I take a circuit training class MWF each week.

I volunteer at the church Thursday mornings - do clean up and have coffee with the other volunteers.

I have been blessed to have two couples that have been very supportive. I will spend an evening at a minimum once and sometimes 2X a week with them.

Lastly, I now finally have begun to invite people to my home and this is a challenge for me.

Probably the most difficult thing for me is to go to functions by myself. Most everyone else that attends is with their spouse.

All for now hope this helps in some small way.

C

Cadee2719

Community Champion ⭐

Jim, I am sorry for your loss. You have shared a wealth of information. I, too, tell others to do the things you want to do while you are young. My husband and I had the opportunity to travel and enjoyed seeing Europe, Australia, cruises to Alaska and Mexico as well as seeing most of the United States. At the age of 60 he had a stroke and had to retire. I, as his caregiver, gave up my position at a local University to care for him. Our trips then became many visits to Las Vegas (he loved to gamble 😊), which was his only joy in life along with seeing our family. Our life was limited and then he was diagnosed with lung cancer. The caretaking increased as time went on with him ending up in Hospice Care at home. I, too believe in Long Term Insurance as the costs of care are very expensive. Hospice care was brutal and I pray I will never have to experience it again. At the death of our son, he went downhill quickly and died six months later. He has been dead 10 months today. I am not where you are in the recovery yet. I am working hard at building a new life for myself. I live in a state where I am not safe (even though I live in what once was a beautiful, safe neighborhood) and in the process of moving out of state along with my remaining son. I am hoping that at our new homes, I can begin to meet people, get involved in the community, volunteer and build a life. I miss being able to go out into the community and walk the streets in my neighborhood to shops and restaurants safely. I miss my son, I miss my husband of 62 years this November, and I miss my brother that died a month before my husband. Your words are encouraging to me. You give a blueprint to healing which I will remember. Thank You for sharing with us.

BeatleloverKT

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

Thinking of you on this difficult day. You are striving to make your life better and for that you should be proud. I wish you peace and pleasant memories today 💜🙏

SummerOnTheWay1

One Step At A Time 🤗

M

MarcyW882921

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Not home yet. We finally saw some sun today and got to get out walking and seeing the sights.😊

SummerOnTheWay1

One Step At A Time 🤗

mc6844

Community Champion ⭐⭐

I'm sorry you had a rough night Nicole. Try to take it easy today and maybe take a nice nap!

SummerOnTheWay1

One Step At A Time 🤗

mc6844

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Thank you Nicole for your kind messages. I just saw them. Flu shot made me kind of sick this year. I hope everyone gets one in spite of a small reaction. It's better than full blown flu. I do think of all on this site and keep you in prayer. I know everyone is struggling with one thing or another and it's not easy. Keep on keeping on. God is with you.

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