Funny Stories and Life Experiences

I can not shop at Costco anymore :-)))))Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.What did she think I had an elephant?So because I'm retired and have little to do,on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me,
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the souce.

My Grandfather and I took a trip to the  UP in 1958 and one the things we did was to drive over the Bridge and back to the UP.

The Mackinac Bridge opened for traffic November 1, 1957, or 66 years ago this month. What a change it has made in the lives of most of us in the Upper Peninsula, and especially the eastern U.P. The official bridge dedication celebration was held over three days in late June, 1958, with a grand parade, fireworks, official release by the U. S. Postmaster General Arthur Summerfield of a commemorative stamp, and the first bridge walk, on June 25th, led by Michigan Gov. G. Mennen “Soapy” Williams. The traditional Labor Day date for the walk started in 1959.
June 25th was a rainy and foggy day, which may in part account for the low participation rate: 65 according to information written on the envelope holding the negative for this image, and 100 according to the Evening News account. It was also none too warm, judging by the clothes worn by the people you can see. Zoom in and you might be able to see that some of them appear to be waving at or taking a picture of the aircraft from which this picture was taken. In 2007, 60,000 people took part in the bridge walk, and in 1992, a record 85,000 crossed with President George H.W. Bush and his wife Barbara, who were here campaigning for his re-election. On December 6, 2018, shortly after the former president passed away, we posted a picture of Pres. Bush and his entourage taken during the bridge walk, Photographer unknown. Sault News Collection, neg. # 5018

THINGS AND HAPPENINGS FROM THE DAYS IN OUR PAST!

Life in the Fifties & Sixties

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot. Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot, there lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me

We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn. And we got good in sneaking home when our parents were starting to yawn.

We longed for love and romance and waited for our Prince. We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee', we cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Only girls wore earrings then, and three was one too many, only boys wore flat-top cut's, only in our wildest dreams in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice, and when they made a movie, they never made it twice.

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, Chester had a limp, Festus had a mule and Reagan had a chimp.

We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go, At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.

For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be, and Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead, and Airplanes weren't named Jefferson and Zeppelins were not made of Led.

The Beatles were, Something New and Monkeys didn't live in trees but Alice lived with a white rabbit in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never heard of microwaves or telephones in cars. Pumping iron got wrinkles out and dorms were never co-ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag and microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.

Hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea and Space shuttles were just coming around in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Our skirts were below the knee to keep our legs from view. And we wore super structured bras, designed by Howard Hughes.

We had no patterned pantyhose but we learned to walk in 2 inch shoes in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Middle-aged was thirty-five and old was fifty-three and ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.

But all things have a season or so we've heard them say, and now instead of Maybelline, we swear by Retin-A.

We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.

• l LIKE MULLED WINE!