SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

"Married into the family".... Moral of that story...Don't mess with the Misses!     

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A woman 's hubby had beern slipping in and out of a coma for months, and yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.

One day, he came too and motioned for her to come closer. As she sat by him he whispered with tears in his eyes... "You know what? You have been with me throughout all the bad times. When I got fired you were there. When my business failed you were there. When I got shot, you were there."

" When we lost the house, when my health began failing you were still by my side. You know what dear?" Her heart began to fill with warmth.....

"I'm beginning to think you're bad luck ! "   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

  dustbusterz  a good one

Waiting In Line that's the truth  lol

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by dustbusterz

dustbusterz    

a good one

COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!"

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Maraming  Salamat(Thank your very much) 

What it REALLY means

 "I can't find it," REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

 "That's women's work," REALLY MEANS, "It's dirty, difficult and thankless."

 "Will you marry me?" REALLY MEANS, "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter."

 "It's a guy thing," REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

 "Can I help with dinner?" REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?"

 "It would take too long to explain, "REALLY MEANS, "I have no idea how it works."

 "I'm getting more exercise lately," REALLY MEANS, "The batteries in the remote are dead.

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What's Wrong?

 In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

 The wife says: The same old thing.
 The wife means: Nothing.

 The wife says: Nothing.
 The wife means: Everything.

 The wife says: Nothing, really.
 The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot.

 The wife says: I don't want to talk about it.
 The wife means: I'm still building up steam.

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"I just had a dream about it ..."

 A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?"

 "You'll know tonight," he said.

 That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."

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The Widow at the Farmhouse

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's station-wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farmhouse and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.

 "I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

 "Not to worry," Jack said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."

 Nine months later, Jack got a letter from the widow's attorney. He called up his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"

 "Yes, I do."

 "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and visit with her?"

 "Yes, I have to admit that I did."

 "Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

 Bob's face turns red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."

 "Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!"

Golden Saloon

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where in tarnation have you been all night?" she demands.

 "At this fantastic new bar," he says. "The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It's got huge golden doors, a golden floor, the works - heck, even the urinal's gold!"

 The wife still doesn't believe his story, and the next day checks the phone book, finding a place across town called the Golden Saloon. She calls up the place to check her husband's story.

 "Is this the Golden Saloon?" she asks when the bartender answers the phone.

 "Yes it is," bartender answers.

 "Do you have huge golden doors?"

 "Sure do." "Do you have golden floors?"

 "Most certainly do."

 "What about golden urinals?"

 There's a long pause, then the woman hears the bartender yelling, "Hey, Duke, I think I got a lead on the guy that peed in your saxophone last night!"