SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by libbyboi

 libbyoi

Two young businessmen in Florida were (Only two left.")    thanks~ love it   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by libbyboi

             THE 7 MENOPAUSAL DWARFS

1.    ITCHY                     4.    BLOATY

2.    BITCHY                  5.    SLEEPY

3.    SWEATY                6.   FORGETFUL

                      7.     PSYCHO

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY / Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn by nell2

I met a fairy today who said she would grant me one wish....

"I want to live forever". I said

"Sorry," said the fairy, " I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."

"Fine," I said, "Then I want to die after Congress gets their heads out of their asses!"

"You crafty #!&,"  said the fairy.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Welcome Cybermac !      This one's for you.

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle, when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage.....

"Hey, Doc, want to take a look at this?"  

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "Doc, look at this engine. I open it's heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when finished, it works just like new. So how come I make "$39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ( $1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic....

"Try doing it with the engine running....."    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

After a visit to a whore house, a man notices green bumps on his willy...

"That's serious", says the doctor.

"You know how wrestlers get 'cauliflower ears" ?

"Yes," says the man seriously.

"Well, " says the doctor, "You've got brothel sprouts."    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

MAXINE SAYS:

It's.....  " One nation UNDER GOD ..."

or bite my skinny old ass and leave!       

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

That's Maxine  for you," One nation UNDER GOD ..."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

     HAPPY JULY 4TH WEEKEND !

                                  ***

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Welcome "Closetbird"  !   

                   VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

Marry it.     

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.    

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those evolutionary things that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.    

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 93.68%.

It's called "Wedding Cake".     

Why do men die before their wives?

Because they want to.   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

MAXINE   says:

The only thing I stir up in the kitchen is trouble!

If you can't stand the heat, go to my kitchen. It's a safe bet I won't be cooking.

I read recipes the same way I read Science Fiction... I get to the end and think, " Well, THAT'S not gonna happen ! "

Recipes are like dating services. They never end up looking like the pictures.

There should be a support group for women who can't put their dishes in the dishwasher dirty.

If it fits in the toaster, I can cook it.

The only thing domestic about me is that I live indoors.