SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                             IRISH PROVERBS

A KIND WORD NEVER BROKE ANYONE'S MOUTH.

A DOG OWNS NOTHING, YET IS SELDOM DISSATISFIED.

IT IS BETTER TO BE BORN LUCKY THAN RICH.

A LIE TRAVELS FARTHER THAN THE TRUTH.

PUT SILK ON A GOAT, AND IT'S STILL A GOAT.

DRINK IS THE CURSE OF THE LAND. IT MAKES YOU FIGHT WITH YOUR NEIGHBOR. IT MAKES YOU SHOOT AT YOUR LANDLORD, AND IT MAKES YOU MISS HIM.

YOU'VE GOT TO DO YOUR OWN GROWING, NO MATTER HOW TALL YOUR GRANDFATHER WAS. 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one...just 'ad another fight with the ittle woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees."

"Really??" said Charles, "Now that's a switch!" What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under that bed, you little chicken."    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

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                               IRISH BLESSINGS

May your thoughts

be as glad

as the Shamrocks.

May your heart

be as light

as a song.

May each day bring you

bright

happy hours...

That stay with

you

all year long .

      HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY !!

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Maxine says:

"It's okay to pretend we're Irish on St. Patty's Day, we pretend we're good on Christmas don't we?"

Pinch me on St.Patrick's Day, and the road will rise up and meet your face!

I actually saw a leprechaun once...After enough green beer, you see all kinds of stuff!

St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland, I wonder if I could get him to stop by the office...

                                     (((())))

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A man was sitting in a bar with his wife..He says, "I love you."

She says, "Is that you or the beer talking?"

He replies, "That's me talking to the beer." 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Bonnie

I love it... lol

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

There was once a recluse who never left his home. The only time anyone saw him was to deliver his food and supplies.

One storm night he had a nervous breakdown. He went upstairs and turned off all the lights and went to bed.

Next morning he had caused the deaths of several hundred people ....... why?

.....

.....

....

He lived in a lighthouse.    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A blonde was in a curtain shop and said, "I want those pink curtains for my PC."

"But PC's don't need curtains" commented the sales clerk.

The blonde replied, "Duh !  I have windows !" 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

I went into a gas station today and asked for $5. worth of gas.

The clerk farted and gave me a receipt!    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Two priests died at the same time and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests,. What will it be?"

The first priest said he always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mt.s

The second says, "Will any of this count ?"

"No," said St. Peter, As the computer is down, we can't keep track of what you are doing."

"In that case, I've always wanted to be a stud."

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the priests.

"Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks.

"The first one should be easy, he's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the Eagles. But the second might prove to be more difficult."

"Why?" asks the Lord.

"He's on a snow tire somewhere in Maine."