SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

A cabbie picks up a nun...

She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome Cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring. "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am, and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. Number one , you have to be single, and number two, you have to be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"Ok" the nun says, "pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back into the cab, the driver starts crying....

"My dear child," says the nun, "Why are you crying?"

"Forgive me, but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."  

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Maxine says......

"I could go on a hayride, or I could shove  sharp sticks down my pants....same difference.

"I use a leaf blower on my lawn, it's called 'the wind."

"I'm going south for the winter...actually some parts of me are headed there already! 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Two men were talking....

"So, how's your sex life?"

"Oh, nothing special. I'm having "pension Sex"

"Pension Sex, what's that?"

"Yeah, you know I get a little each month, but not enough to live on.."    

                      HAPPY HALLOWEEN             

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10!   

 Two men were talking... LMBO

    HAPPY HALLOWEEN  

          just-nell

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Maxine says:

"I love a brisk fall breeze, especially when the leaves blow into the neighbors yard."

"Getting ready for the fall TV programs...any excuse for popcorn, beer, pop and cussin' "

"I just noticed some frost on my pumpkins. Guess it's time to start wearing a bra again."

"I always start running in the fall...not all of me, just my nose."    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Both politicians and diapers need to be changed often... and for the same reason..

                    GET OUT AND VOTE !!!

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 Maxine  say's I always start running in the fall...not all of me, just my nose."  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

     Bonnie I hear you and I voted

           GET OUT AND VOTE!!!  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Once upon a time there were two brothers. One brother was very misshape. always getting into trouble. The other brother, however, was very good. He was always kind to animals, helped elderly neighbors, and led an exemplary life.

As time went on, the brothers stayed in touch, but were never close. The evil brother became a heavy drinker and womanizer. The other brother was a devoted husband and father and supported many charities.

One day the evil brother died. Then, after a few years the good brother passed away. He went to heaven and was rewarded with a happy life. One day he went to God and asked, "Where is my brother? He died before me, but I have not seen him here in Heaven."

God replied, "As you know, your brother led an evil life, so he is not spending eternity here in Heaven. He has been sent elsewhere."

"I'm sorry to hear that." the good brother replied. "But I do miss him and wish I could see him again." You can see him if you wish." God said. "I will give you power to gaze into hell."

So the power was granted and the good brother gazed into hell. Before long he saw his brother sitting on a bench. In one arm he held a keg of beer, and in the other he cradled a gorgeous young blonde.

The good brother turned to God and said, " I can't believe what I'm seeing. I have found my brother and he has a keg of beer in one arm and a beautiful woman in the other. Surely hell can not be that bad."

God explained, "Things are not always what they seem, my son. The keg has a hole in it,. the blonde doesn't."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Once upon a time there were two brothers...

a  good one  LMBO