SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

         WELCOME TO OUR NEWEST CYBER FRIENDS !

WayneCoe

Rascoe

JOyce 1

Kennan

               May always find a smile to complete your day.

I do not like this Uncle Sam...

I do not like his healthcare scam....

I do not like those dirty crooks...

Or how they lie and cook the books.

I do not like when Congress steals...

I do not like their secret deals...

I do now like this speaker man...

I do not like this 'Yes we can!"

I do not like this spending spree...

I'm smart, I know that nothings free.

I do not like their smug replies...

When I complain about their lies..

I do not like this kind of hope....

I do not like it...  nope!

                      nope!

                      nope ! 

                          TRIVIAL TRIVIA

Q.  Where was the 1st drive-in restaurant?

Ans: Royce Hailey's Pig Stand............Dallas Texas 1921

Q.  Where was the world's 1st 3-color traffic light?

Ans: Detriot Michigan 1919

Q:  Where was the 1st drive-in movie theater?

Ans: Camden, N.J. 1933

         Admission  .25cents

An oldie, but a goodie:

A man and his wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there his wife passed away.

The undertaker told him he could bury her in Jerusalem for $150. or ship her home for $5000.

The man said, "I'll have her shipped home."

The undertaker was surprised and asked him why?

"Because long ago a man died here, was buried here, and 3 days later rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance!!"

Someone has finally explained the reason baby diapers have brand names such as "Luvs" and "Huggies", while old people's are called "Depends".

You see when babies crap thier pants, people are still gonna "Luv" 'em, and "Hug" 'em.

But when old people crap their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will..

Glad to straighten that out for you.  

                    WELCOME NEW CYBER FRIENDS !

                             btv628

                             bcmrbill

May your days all include a smile !     ♥

Mirror, mirror on the wall

You're not playing fair at all.

I'm really now upset with you..

For giving me a distorted view !

You show my hair is turning gray...

It's just the way the shadows play.

I know that you're not hanging straight...

To make me look so over weight!

The way you show a double chin...

Is just the way the light comes in.

I think I'm fine, but you're so wise..

To put such accent on my thighs.

I wish you'd try to be my friend...

And tell me I'm a little thin.

Just tell me I look good in jeans..

And frilly shirts and pretty things.

Please don't let the wrinkles show..

I'd like to have a pretty glow.

I see you won't respond at all...

So I'll just tear you off the wall !!  

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off:  "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30. she proudly said. "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good." said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good,Jenny." said the teacher.

Eventually it was little Johnny's turn ...... the teacher held her breath....

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467." he said.

"What on earth were you selling?" asked the teacher.

"Toothbrushes."  said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes!" echoed the teacher. "How could you possible sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town." said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip&Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing..."Hey, this tastes like dog sh--!"

Then I would say... "It is dog sh--!  Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

"I used the governmental approach of giving you something sh--ty for free, and then making you pay to get the sh--ty taste out of your mouth."  

A SMART MAN ONLY BELIEVES HALF OF WHAT HE HEARS....

A WISE MAN, KNOWS WHICH HALF.

THE MOST PRECIOUS THINGS IN LIFE, CANNOT BE BUILT BY HAND, OR BOUGHT BY MAN.

                                  THE 7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD

1. TO SEE

2. TO HEAR

3. TO TOUCH

4. TO TASTE

5. TO FEEL

6. TO LAUGH

7. TO LOVE

A wife texts her hubby on a cold winter morning:

" Windows frozen, won't open."

Hubby texts back:

"Gently pour warm water over it."

Wife texts back:

"PC really screwed up now!"