Loss of husband

Elaine @ElaineM928269 , I am SO SORRY for your loss dear friend & glad you stopped by.

Counseling has "helped" some of us while others have found "volunteering" keeps them busy & around people.

I am SO GLAD you have "support" from folks that CARE.

WE will ALWAYS "miss" them & taking EACH MOMENT as it comes has helped me with my journey.

I hope you will stop by AGAIN to see us & I luv to "chat" = feel free to bend my ears when YOU need to.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

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➡️[*** ELAINE @ElaineM928269 wrote:

After being married 49 years and 9 months, my husband passed away.  He went in for pre-op testing because he was having a second knee replacement done.  They found two blocked arteries - one was 95% and the other 80% plus he had an aneurysm by his heart.  He needed open heart surgery.  The doctor was very confident and didn't foresee any complications.  Unfortunately, people are not always right.  My husband was bleeding and he wouldn't clot.  I still don't really know what that means except that he is no longer with me.

I feel so alone even though I have a daughter.  She has her own family to worry about.  I have a brother in law and sister in law who try helping me whenever they can.  My friends are there to listen, but have their own lives.

I just cry and cry.  I know he wouldn't want me to be doing this, but I'm just so sad.  I miss him.

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@ElaineM928269 

So Sorry for your loss after 49 years, yes, it is hard and will be that way for a good while - relief comes slowly.  Sometimes you think it will never end -   It has been just a few months shy of 20 years since I lost my husband of 38 years - I think it felt like longer since we not only lived life together, we also worked together and I had known him since the 3rd grade.  And those 20 years since his death still seems just like yesterday at times.  

I am sure that he would understand your crying - crying is a way to help mend the heart of missing him so much.   I wish I could tell you that things will get better fast but there is nothing fast about grief - sometimes all you can do is put one foot in front of the other - and even that seems grueling.  Try to handle life matters as best you can but try not make any big life changes until you are on firmer ground emotionally.

I kept a journal for years, wrote about my feeling, I talked to my husband in it - I was angry, sad, confused, bewildered - I wrote about our history together and where we had been and what we had done.  I just wrote whichever way the pen took me.  It helped a lot.  Then one day I just said, that’s it no more writing and I just burned it - I never wanted to read it, never wanted anybody else to read it either - so the best place was up in flames - but those times writing and getting it all out did do wonders for me because after a while I did realize that I was and could move forward.

@SummerOnTheWay1 keep this particular board updated so I hope that you might find something to help you along these Journey of Days.  My heart aches for you cause even as I write this to you, I am feeling those right with you as many others do also.

Best to you.

 I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you feel. I watched my Mama after my Daddy passed in 1981. I pray peace and comfort for you and your family.I know it doesn't seem like it now but it does get better. God's peace🙏🌻

So sorry.

It is a difficult journey. One breath at a time.  1 miniute at a time.

Sad, happy, in agony, ok, grieve, love.

And they come in no particular order or tumeframe.  Grieve and love will be with you as long as you live.

It is all ok

This is a lonely time.  I miss my husband, Jim, married for 44 years, and I miss the person that I was when I was with him.  I find myself missing the life we had together, and not sure how to go from being 'us' to being 'me'.

Elaine,

My heart breaks for you! Although, I too have experience the lost of my husband, I don't think any one of us can say, "I know how you feel" each person is different. My husband went for a physical checkup in May 2023, and was gone by November 2023. I can understand the hurt and loneliness. I have 2 grown children and like you, they have their own lives and I don't want to disrupt them. When you want to cry, cry!  It will be 2 years November 2025 and I still sometimes cry. Always remember the good fun times. Continue to take one day at a time. Stay busy, put on lively music, watch a good comedy, and remember the beautiful love and times you had together. Our love ones are only asleep, we will see them again!

Elaine, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear husband. Please stop by the grief forum whenever you can. Leave a bit of emotion and grief each time. There are good people here who are knowledgeable and kind. Lots of experience to share please take good care of yoursel! 

Elaine, I too on August 27th lost my husband of 42 years. The pain is too much for anyone to bear alone. I stopped by here because I need help, so I understand what you are going through.  My husband’s absence is overwhelming and the silence around the house is deafening, which only gets broken when my daughter and two granddaughters stop by. I feel lost in a sea of paperwork which I don’t, most of the time, understand what I’m reading and have to read again. My brain is in a fog unable to think. All we can do is take one day at a time, and take care of ourselves. I’m so sorry for your loss.

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@ElaineM928269 wrote:

After being married 49 years and 9 months, my husband passed away.  He went in for pre-op testing because he was having a second knee replacement done.  They found two blocked arteries - one was 95% and the other 80% plus he had an aneurysm by his heart.  He needed open heart surgery.  The doctor was very confident and didn't foresee any complications.  Unfortunately, people are not always right.  My husband was bleeding and he wouldn't clot.  I still don't really know what that means except that he is no longer with me.

I feel so alone even though I have a daughter.  She has her own family to worry about.  I have a brother in law and sister in law who try helping me whenever they can.  My friends are there to listen, but have their own lives.

I just cry and cry.  I know he wouldn't want me to be doing this, but I'm just so sad.  I miss him.

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i am very sorry for the loss of your husband of almost 50 years! My husband of 44 years passed away last month. I have the "grief bursts" you mention, some last longer than others.I joined a couple of Zoom meetings through the online group called Modern Widow's Club in case you are interested in checking them out. They have free and paid memberships. I have a free one.