🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

3 comments(12/1/22) Be the things you loved most about the people who are gone. UNKNOWN.

Lots of HUGS for you and stop by if you need a shoulder to cry on or just an ear to listen. We are always here for you 24/7 (AARP is worldwide).

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Nicole 🤗🤎 (Grief & Loss Forum)

Hi, Nicole and readers of this forum.  I wanted to share something I heard from my Bible Study today.  To make a long story short, I have reconciled and forgiven my church from pretty much abandoning me after my husband's funeral and the first Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Lent was not much better since the leaders could not really relate to those going through grief.  They pretty much viewed it as going alone.  Finding GriefShare during this empty time made all the difference.  Today, a number of the same church leaders bemoaned how everyone seems to have a mental health issue whether personally or someone they know.  What a surprise!  There is no bereavement program, although I encouraged starting one due to the high number of deaths since Covid or any real support, physically or mentally to the congregations.  The conversation confirmed what I experienced first-hand - a distant and aloof reaction to grief.  The only other person at this meeting was a widow like me who truly understood the need for support.  She and I were like voices in the wilderness, how fitting as we enter the season of Lent next month.  Mental health is a big issue and should be discussed openly and with actions like outreach, communications, true caring.  There is obviously an urgent need and I hope at least for this group this is a wakeup call.  I have already moved on from looking for support from them and am blessed that I have the support from the Grief Forum, GriefShare and a few similar minded individuals.  Thought this discussion was ironic and a sad state of affairs.  It is probably a microcosm of our greater society.  Just sharing.  Sue

We Are ALWAYS Here For You TOO 😄

I guess I am lonely.  I just want to write about how awesome and great my late husband was.  He made me laugh every day.  Before dinner, he would say "thank you for this wonderful meal made by my wonderful wife.  He was only 68 when he died suddenly.  We had 28 beautiful years of marriage.  I am younger than he and I still have both my parents.  I never lost anyone close to me and he was the closest person to me in the whole world.  People have said that we were always together and we were.  I have lost a part of me.

Thank you One Step for all your efforts on the grief forum. I try to contribute daily. I think this forum is just what you said, a place for grieving. Where only grievers can fully understand the process. For it is a process with a beginning, middle, and an end. To me that doesn't mean the grieving is no more, but eventually gets taken up by life itself. The loved one never left but became part of our lives. Someday we shall meet in heaven. However for now coping with the loss brings new challenges. This is what this forum is for, to allow the grieving to air their pain and encourage the forward journey. I hope you all find something good in your day. Take care.

Nicole I saw your post about your awful day. I have awful moments and times during the day too.  I tell "awful" that it's not going to take my whole day. I think we get that awful feeling when looking for the familiar and it isn't there. I try to switch the focus. And look at what is still there. Is it the Aloe plants growing outside my door? Why didn't I notice them growing bigger? They need bigger pots. I could go to Home Depot for them. Except my husband had one of his heart attacks in Home Depot parking lot. He actually died on the pavement. The paramedics brought him back to life. I haven't been able to go back there. He joked that you'd think Home Depot would give a coupon or discount if a person died in their parking lot. Of course it wasn't their fault. But not something that happens every day

 It is hurtful when family or friends ignore the pain of loss. I've seen this happen many times to many people. I've seen lone caregivers more times than I can count. Very few people can be there for end of life care. And the grieving after. I suppose it's not their calling.  I think people in general need to do a better job of dealing with death. It's the people worn out from caregiving, and the ones who are left to grieve that need help and comfort at that time.

I hope you feel better Nicole. I saw your upside down smiley and got concerned.  Please take care. 

I just watched a short interview with Amanda Kloots. She talked about grief and how it can "eat you up." Something she found helpful was finding a community where there are others who understand your pain and loss. I had heard this information from other sources and wasn't sure it would be helpful for me. 

I have however made connections individually and within a group setting with others who have experienced loss and it has been very beneficial for me.

What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes part of us. – Helen Keller

The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to. – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

(1 comment)Thanks Marcy, Nicole 🤎🤗

▶️@MarcyW882921 wrote:

I read an article last week that may be beneficial for our group. It doesn't look like this forum will accept the link so I will provide the article title and author in case you have to search it out. The article title is "Dear Griever, Give Yourself Some Grace" by Stephanie Farr.◀️