Caregiving Connect

If you are caring for loved ones who are veterans, be sure to find out if they are eligible for any benefits, pensions, or services. The VA can seem complicated so it's great to get help.    The first thing to do is contact the VA Caregiver Support Program at their toll-free number 1-855-260-3274 or visit their website. Explain your loved ones' military service and their current care needs; ask what help might be available.  Be aware that VA programs, benefits, and services vary according to the details of your loved ones' military services (such as dates served, war-time service, disability ranking, etc.) Never assume your loved ones don't qualify - always ask and get all of the facts and details.  You can also contact one of the certified Veterans Service Organizations, local organizations with volunteers who help you navigate the VA, apply for pensions/benefits etc. My parents' estate planning attorneys had a lawyer who focused on benefits and he h

Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's over 10 years ago, I became her POA when a fall as we were going to physical therapy, landed her in the ER so I could be sure she wasn't injured.  Mom couldn't recall any of her medical history, not one thing.  I was established then and there as her POA, medical and financial.  It began a road we travelled with care, kindness, sharp eagle eye for her needs, for more than a decade.  I was 50 when we began the journey, and 62 when she died a year and a half ago.  I assured over the years she had right setting, freedom, and that meant moving from her apartment to independent living, learning that wasn't a fit as she was overwhelmed and did have difficulty cooking in the newer kitchen, a small stove fire, and she had to move.  She came to my family home with me for 6 months as I researched the options, she did qualify for assisted care that was subsidized, the waiting list was a few more months, and she could move there

I'm tired of scam and sales calls on my cellphone and sorry I ever let my old fashioned, hard-wired phone line go.  Now that I'm at home all the time I want that reliable old technology back. I searched the web for providers of that analog service that works even when cell towers aren't working. Everybody us selling either internet based, fiberoptic, or "traditional" service (which means they're giving me a modem that works like the hardwired BUT uses cell towers to send the call). Found a couple of providers that only offer business service/multiple lines but nothing for my home....my home safety. Seniors rely on a good, reliable phone connection as we get more housebound and no one seems to offer this to us. All my research tried to tell me it's an obsolete service because it's more expensive than the cellphone based technology but I'm willing to pay for quality. Does anyone know how I might find such a provider? I live in the South Bay, Los Angeles County, in California...it sh

My second tip: Simplify your Holiday Activities   Because you are caregiving, you may not have the time or energy to "do it all". The pandemic makes it even more complicated this year. If going all out for the holidays will push you over the edge this year, remember that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. I Decorations: If you can’t put out all of your decorations, choose a few items that are most significant. You might also ask a friend to decorate the outside of the house - which wouldn't endanger you or your loved ones -  or pay someone to do so. You might find volunteers to do so - check out AARP Community Connections to find a Mutual Aid Group near you where a volunteer might be interested in helping out. If you have a family member or friend whom you trust to have been taking safety precautions and who will wear a mask in the house - ask them to help with inside decorations; you can always rearrange decorations once they are out. When I just can't get out all

Hello all;Over this past year, my mothers incontinence supplies needs have grown expedentially.  I have searched for the best deals on her supplies and normally find Amazon to have the best price, but was wondering if AARP membership benefits offer discounts on these supplies or if fellow members have a better recommendation to find these items.  The ones that seem to work best for her as far as fit and absorbency are the Silhouettes underwear and the Poise x-long pads. Thank you for your time and considerationTwiggy

One of the learnings of this darn pandemic is that all kinds of gatherings can happen online; work meetings, family reunions, and worship. Who knew. For people that have made belonging to a faith community a part of life, there is a real struggle once caregiving becomes a major responsibility. And for the care recipient, it's even harder. So, here are some ideas on how to reintegrate a feeling of worship/church into your Sabbath, or any day or evening.   * Look up your denomination's web site on youtube and see what you find. I'm an Episcopalian, and the Washington National Cathedral youtube channel has a wealth of offerings. If i want to listen to a sermon, there's a section for that. Also for morning prayer and special services like the Lessons & Carols event before Christmas. During the most severe shut down of Spring 2020, my wife and I listened to the entire morning service, which lasts over an hour and has amazing music. A bulletin with all the words allowed us to pray a

My mother falls down pretty often, and my back is really starting to bother me. What can I do to get her back up?

I've just survived living near the largest wildfire in the USA as of now, and out of necessity I've packed a "GO" bag, as in, the absolute essentials needed if i have to evacuate the fire. I was thinking about how handy having a GO bag is under many circumstances, from fire evacuation to going to the emergency room with your loved one. If you have one already packed, you will be so relieved when you get where you're going.   Things to put it in (and update/replace periodically):  * a typed or legibly written list of medical problems and history. Your primary care doc (or her/his medical assistant) can print this out for you at each visit. * a typed or legibly written list of medications, doses, what they are for * a copy of any and all advanced directives, including POLST, living will, durable power of attorney for health care * list of any thing a medical team should know like, your loved one has no spleen, had her armpit lymph nodes taken and so therefore do not do a venipu

When caring for loved ones at home, whether in their home or your home, it's vitally important that you make the home as safe as possible. Here are some things to consider. Use universal design principles to ensure the home is comfortable and safe for people of all ages and abilities. Make any alterations easily adaptable, since needs and abilities change over time. A safe home doesn’t have to be unattractive — modifications can be beautiful and stylish. If you engage a contractor, find one who has proven experience in this arena. You can search for a contractor who has the CAPS designation in the National Association of Home Builders Directory. Also, considers AARP’s HomeFit Guide and HomeFit AR app to walk through the home and determine needed changes. Consider the following improvements: No-step entry. This eases entrance to the home for those who use wheelchairs and walkers and makes it easier to carry medical equipment, groce

I'm a medical social worker, and I have to say that one of the things I hear over and over again from caregivers and patients is: "I never got a call back." From their doctors, or their care-recipient's doctor or other provider. (A lot of primary care providers are physicians assistants or family nurse practitioners, especially in rural areas.) I've worked in hospital settings, as a home hospice social worker, in outpatient clinics for cancer and neurology, and after 6 years as a mental health provider in a rural outpatient primary care clinic, I'm an oncology social worker once again in a medium sized city. Let me tell you how to get the response you need.   If you have a question about the medication that was newly prescribed, do exactly what the prescriber told you to do. If s/he said call, then call, and call twice a day until you get a human who can respond.   If you need a hospital bed or a wheelchair, make an appointment to see the provider in person, or by telehealth

Nearly 60% of all Veterans are eligible for some health care benefits from the VA, but less than half actually are enrolled in VA health care. Women veterans are the least likely group to use their earned benefits.   Why? It may be because of confusion about qualifications and eligibility. It can also be a confusing system and a bit grueling to sign up. But let me tell you - it's worth it! My dad was a veteran, and once I finally got him enrolled and using VA health care benefits it was a game-changer for caring for him!    He eventually received hearing aids, excellent home-based primary care (a game-changer in terms of caring for him at home), home health aides, medications, medical equipment, ramps, respite care, physical therapy, hospice care, and more – all at no cost to him. These supports were crucial for caring for him at home until his death at age 94. Other benefits may include discounted or free adult day health services.    AARP wants to make it eas

Hi everyone, I was fortunate to work with Melinda of the Nursing School at the UW, she is the project coordinator for the Partnering with Your Healthcare Provider resource for caregivers of people living with dementia (PLWD) and other memory problems.  The resource contains a narrated presentation detailing the partnership among a PLWD, their caregiver, and their healthcare provider. The presentation provides tips and tools for making the most of medical appointments that are often too short, overwhelming, and leave caregivers and PLWD confused or unsure about what to do next.  Among these tools are three log sheets—medication, appointment, and care logs—that are demonstrated through two video scenarios to show how they can improve the partnership with healthcare providers.  The resource is available here: https://dpen.nursing.uw.edu/resources/partnering-with-your-healthcare-provider/ Partnering with Your Healthcare Provider was developed in partnership with the Uni

Family caregiving can include a wide range of roles, one of which is helping a loved one manage their finances, or taking over financial management for them. I've done both, and it was one of the most stressful aspects of caregiving for me. There are things I learned along the way that can make your experience much easier. These are some basic tips to help you manage this role.    If your loved ones set up powers of attorney for finances it will make your job much easier. Many people do this as part of their estate planning, and/or when they set up powers of attorney for health care. Having financial power of attorney will enable you to pay bills, access their bank accounts and talk with companies about money owed. etc. An eldercare attorney or estate planning attorney can be very helpful in talking over the various options.  Keep in mind, however, that some companies may not recognize your power of attorney, or require their own power of attorney paperwork to be comple

  Compound Caregiving (caring for multiple people at one time) is tough, but so are caregivers.   If you have any of your own tips and techniques that have helped you care for others successfully, please share them here!

When I started intensive caregiving for my parents, it took a while to get a handle on my parents' financial situation. The first thing I did was to create a spreadsheet that included:   Their income (Social Security, pensions, rent from a property in another state etc.) Their expenses (housing and household, medical/healthcare, personal care/caregiving, animal care, payments on debt, etc.) That gave me an idea of what was coming in and what was going out (and if there was anything left over at the end of the month). It showed me where their highest expenses were and helped me figure out what could be cut back, as well as what would likely increase, like their housing (they moved to a senior community for a few years), medical expenses, healthcare, etc.    The numbers didn't add up. So I looked for ways to increase their income. They started receiving their long-term care insurance benefits and that helped. Later, I applied for Veterans Aid and Attendance benefits for

About 6 in 10 family caregivers are also working at a paid job. It can be very difficult to put in both paid work hours and family caregiving hours - for some it's like having two full-time jobs. Many family caregivers make adjustments to their work, such as: Going in late or leaving early Taking time off Cutting back to part-time Taking a lower-paying job but less stressful job Becoming self-employed or doing consulting for more flexibility Many caregivers have financial strains due to caregiving, but those who have stopped working are twice as likely to report financial strain.   If you are considering making changes to your work situation due to caregiving, keep the following things in mind in terms of potential impacts on your personal finances. Consider the impact on your contributions to Social Security and your future payments when you retire. Get clear about how your pension, 401K and other retirement savings will be impacted.  Think about how your long-term career

When I was caring for my parents, I provided around 60 to 80 hrs of unpaid care per week. I did evenings and weekends but had paid caregivers while I worked (and when I traveled out of town for work). Eventually, as Dad's Alzheimer's progressed, he needed two people to help when he was up and moving, so even when my sister or I were there, we needed another set of hands at times. The necessary cost of hiring paid caregivers was high, but it helped me keep Dad at home through the end of his life.   There are pros and cons to each of the various ways to hire paid caregivers (also known as home health aides or personal care aides). Here are some things to keep in mind: The cost will vary from state to state and even within a state, so do some research about the going rate in your loved ones' area.  If you hire through an agency, the agency takes a substantial portion of the hourly rate you pay. The caregiver isn't getting paid the entire amount. The pros of this approach i

On average, family caregivers spend approximately 26% of their own income on caregiving expenses. It can be overwhelming. Here's something that could help: you may be eligible for certain tax credits and deductions related to the money you spend on caregiving. These are some things to keep in mind to ensure you maximize any tax credits or deductions for which you may be eligible.    Keep good records. You'll need to track all of the money you spend on caregiving. Keep receipts and/or a log of care and medical expenses you pay for, as well as what you spend on their living arrangements. You may also need to prove that they have been living with you and for how long.  Get help from a tax expert. Tax law can be complicated so it's a good idea to get help from an expert who is familiar with caregiving tax credits and deductions. If the cost of a tax professional is prohibitive for you, AARP Foundation's Tax-Aide program offers free tax preparation services by very well-trai

When caregiving for family and friends, one of the greatest financial concerns can be addressing their vulnerability to fraud and scams.   When I became involved in helping my parents manage their finances, I realized Dad had been giving money for years to a man who claimed he was associated with an organization that helped disabled veterans. But there was no evidence of his fake organization, and when I asked him to stop calling my dad (and explained that dad had Alzheimer's and could not afford to donate), he wouldn't stop calling. His phone number wouldn't show in caller I.D. so I couldn't report him that way. Eventually, I changed my parents' phone number, and then the calls finally stopped. I wasn't sure how much money dad had given this man over the years, but I was so angry at how his kind, trusting, giving nature had been exploited by a scammer.    Like many older adults, Dad's world had gotten smaller, he was probably lonely sometimes and more vulnerable to some

I've worked in the field of aging for nearly 40 years, but not as a Medicare expert. So when I got more involved in caring for my parents, I found that, while I understood the basics of Medicare, there were some things I needed to learn more about. The same would be true for you as a caregiver.   I urge you to become familiar with what Medicare (and Medicaid) does (and doesn't) pay for in terms of in-home care ahead of time. Then you'll be more prepared for the costs of caregiving.    For example, many people believe that Medicare will pay for the costs of in-home paid caregivers and home health aides on an ongoing basis to help your loved ones as they age. But Medicare does not generally pay for that type of ongoing care. Medicare isn't designed to provide 24/7 care.   If your loved one qualifies for Medicaid, most states have a Medicaid "waiver" to use Medicaid funds for in-home services for people who qualify for a skilled nursing level of care but who wish to re

As AARP's family and caregiving expert, one of the most common questions I'm asked is, "How can I get paid to care for my (family member, friend etc.)?" It's a common question because it's a common problem. Many of us struggle to keep working while caring for loved ones, and if we quit our paid jobs then our finances are highly affected. We want to care for our loved ones, but we also need an income.    If you'd like to get paid to care for loved ones, there are a few options that may fit your situation. I'll be honest - unfortunately, not everyone who needs to get paid to provide care will fit into these categories. But for some of you, these options may be helpful.    If your loved ones are eligible for and enrolled in Medicaid, you may be able to get paid to provide care for them. Eligibility varies from state to state, so be sure to contact your state Medicaid office to find out if your loved one and you are eligible.  If your loved ones are veterans,

Hi.  I am new here.  I have a sister that i have been caring for since my mom passed on. She is close to 70 now and needs someone to guide her in the right directions and maybe help with finding a place to live.  I am older than she so what avenue can I pursue.  I live in North New Jersey. 

I need help finding a place for my mom. She is in HUD senior apartments. She is in the first stage of dementia and wants to be by 1 of her children. Do I sign her up for Hud here and then sign her up for home health.  Or do I sign her up for medicate and try to find an assisted living apartment? I am not sure what to do.Any advice would be great

Your family member may be able to claim federal tax deductions for many health care costs, including a hospital bed or wheelchair; out-of-pocket expenses not covered by health insurance; remodeling the home to make it accessible; and hiring a short-term or part-time home health aide to provide respite for the main caregiver. Save receipts for medical expenses.   Also, find out whether your loved one has a life insurance policy that makes accelerated death payments to help pay for long-term care.   Below you can find other legal checklist items for family caregivers:   A legal Checklist for Family Caregivers #1: Have the right documents A legal Checklist for Family Caregivers #2: Make a family plan A legal Checklist for Family Caregivers #3: Organize important papers A legal Checklist for Family Caregivers #4: Explore potential financial help A legal Checklist for Family Caregivers #6: Think beyond your loved one

Many people drive for a while after a dementia diagnosis - my Dad drove for probably 3-4 years after very early diagnosis and starting treatment even before we knew it, his doctor was on it. Here are a few things to keep in mind around keeping your loved ones from getting lost and/or hurt due to driving:   If your loved ones are still driving, be sure to constantly monitor their judgment, vision and visual processing, safety, and driving/navigating skills. They may be able to operate the car safely, but unable to find their way around. It's a good idea to have a GPS tracker in the car so you can always find them. Even if you think your loved one is still fine to drive and won't get lost doing errands close to home - or if you don’t think there’s a chance they could get in the car and drive at all - it’s a good idea to put a GPS tracker in the car. Review AARP's We Need to Talk online seminar about discussing hanging up the keys with loved ones. You can also confer with