Caregiving Connect

I am living with my mom, she is 81, and at times I want to run screaming into the night. We are both such different people since my dad passed and our normal best-friend status is being tried! I looked all over AARP and couldn't find a resource for a group that meets - either in person or online. To be honest, I feel a bit desperate.

My dad is restless. When we watch TV he will stand up and sit down.  I counted 49 times in 20 mons. At night i put him in bed and make sure his legs are on the bed. In the morning I come downstairs and he's sitting on the bed with his head on the pillow and feet on the floor. Now, he has a tumor on his rectum, I know it's uncomfortable.  What else can I do though? He says it's hard for him to get his legs up on the bed, though I've seen him do it. He gets up so much during the night. I already am awake 20 hours a day. Are there any tips? Has anyone been through a restless patient ?

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I am a caregiver (m, 49) for my dad (82), who has rectal cancer. He watches the same show over and over again at night and it drives me crazy, and it makes me angry when he talk about it and looks forward to it.  Is this a just reaction? Has anyone been through this?  I feel trapped and maybe watching this over and over makes me feel it more, idk.  We've seen these episodes dozens of times, he doesn't even really follow them but he likes them. 

We did an Irrevocable Trust for Medicaid for my now deceased mother-in-law. I am trying to figure out if we need to file some type of tax return with the IRS. The money put in to the Trust came directly from her regular checking account. This money can only be paid to the nursing home. It was her income from Social Security, her pension and VA Aide and Attendance. I already filed her 1040 IRS form and that was all "taxed" there. I would think there would not be any tax paid on the Trust. There was no income generated. Has anyone ever had this specific situation?

Trying to find specifications on medical alert devices.  Need a mobile device with fall detection. Want pendant type but want a light weight small one. Are there any recommendations or where can I go on internet to find the weight and dimensions of the devices for Comparison? 

Dear Ma'am or Sir.I consider myself a rookie when it comes to being a caregiver to my spouse. I'm wondering - is there a place in Central Ohio where caregivers can get together oncein awhile - and share with each other how caregiving affects their mental health. Has there every been created a group - locally, regionally, and/or nationally calledCA (Caregiving Anonymous) - similar to AA (Alcoholic Anonymous) or what a grougmaybe called DA (Drug/Substance Abuse Anonymous) in the Central Ohio area. Respectfully,Kenneth StalderU.S. Army Veteran & Patriot

Hello, although I try to keep up with AARP news, this is the first time I've ever used the forum.  So, if I'm doing so in the wrong place, I apologize. Anyway, I live alone, which I have and like for the past 15 years or so. Recently, I've had some health issues, and I fractured one of my lower vertebrae. Day to day jobs have become more difficult, and I'm considering hiring a personal assistant. I live in the Houston area, and was wondering if anyone had any suggestions on who I might talk to.  Thank you and God bless. James 

My sister and I are caring for our mother at home.  She is 92.  She can't walk, even with a walker so getting her out of the house to have a dentist check out what appears to be an inflamed tooth, is impossible.  She can no longre even get to the doctor.  She is under a doctor's care, with video appointments.  Her doctor and insurance company both say they know of no options to have her treated.  I have exhausted all efforts I can think of to locate a mobile dentist.  Anyone out there know of such a service?  I appreciate your response.The Sisters

Hi everyone,I’m excited to share a project I’ve been working on—a personalized virtual caregiver designed to assist individuals who may struggle with memory-related challenges, such as forgetfulness or conditions like dementia or Alzheimer’s.The tool acts as a supportive helper, offering features like:Gentle reminders for medications, appointments, or daily tasks.Regular check-ins to ensure tasks are completed and provide a sense of connection.Feedback loops for caregivers and doctors, helping to refine care plans based on the user’s needs.This isn’t about replacing human caregivers or doctors—it’s about enhancing their care by providing real-time assistance and improving communication between everyone involved in caregiving.I’d love to hear your thoughts:What features would make this most helpful for you or someone you know?Are there specific challenges you think this tool could address better?Do you have any concerns or suggestions about using virtual tools like this?Your feedback wi

  What are the requirements for a nursing home to get replacement dentures for a patient that has broken theirs?  My aunt is in a nursing home (Medicare & Medicaid) and has broken her upper plate. Her weight has now dropped to 87lbs and the nursing home is saying it's not their responsibility.  HELP!  

Who and how do I pay taxes on the interest of a irrevocable trust?  The trust is to support the expenses to take care of my 92 year old mother in assisted living.  I would control those funds.   My mother is 92 and lives alone at home.  She is ready to move to a assisted living facility.  I received the following advice/info from a family law paralegal friend:   She is currently qualified for Medicaid, but she will lose that eligibility when she sells the house.  Its been recommended she take the profits from her home (300k) and create a IRREVOCABLE Trust with myself as the beneficiary/control of funds.  The purpose of creating a trust is to satisfy the 5 year lookback for Florida Medicaid eligibility IF she needs Medicaid AFTER the trust has existed for 5 years.   Im trying learn more about the tax ramifications.  Would this normally be a GRANTOR or NON-GRANTOR type ?  If it has its own TAX, what is t

Managing urinary incontinence can be challenging, especially when navigating the complexities of Medicare coverage for solutions like the PureWick® Urine Collection System. This non-invasive system offers a hygienic and comfortable alternative to traditional methods, but understanding whether it's covered under Medicare can save you both time and money.Here’s a quick summary of what you should know:Medicare Part B: Covers 80% of the cost for Durable Medical Equipment (DME) like external catheters if deemed medically necessary.PureWick Coverage: While Original Medicare doesn't routinely cover PureWick, some Medicare Advantage plans may include it as a supplemental benefit.Tips to Save: Explore Medicaid benefits, private insurance options, or manufacturer discounts to make the system more affordable.Want to dive deeper into how Medicare can support your needs for urinary incontinence devices like PureWick?👉 Read the full guide here: Medicare Coverage for PureWickIf you have questions or

 KFF Health News 12/02/2024 - Homebound Seniors Living Alone Often Slip Through Health System’s Cracks  Across the country, about 2 million adults 65 and older are completely or mostly homebound, while an additional 5.5 million seniors can get out only with significant difficulty or assistance. This is almost surely an undercount, since the data is from more than a dozen years ago. It’s a population whose numbers far exceed those living in nursing homes — about 1.2 million — and yet it receives much less attention from policymakers, legislators, and academics who study aging. Consider some eye-opening statistics about completely homebound seniors from a study published in 2020 in JAMA Internal Medicine: Nearly 40% have five or more chronic medical conditions, such as heart or lung disease. Almost 30% are believed to have “probable dementia.” Seventy-seven percent have difficulty with at least one daily task such as bathing or dressing. Almost 40% live by t

*** 1 Comment on the AARP Website. Stop by to read comments & add yours. *** FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! How to Manage Sibling Relationships Strained by Family Caregiving. Experts say the key to handling family discord is for parents to make caregiving wishes and expectations known early. By Christine A. Di Pasquale, AARP. Published November 25, 2024. Sarah Ferguson* had a close relationship with her only sister until their mother’s health declined and her sister became involved with a man who seemed more interested in their mother’s money than in her well-being. “It just got very ugly when he was in the picture and he was trying to, I think, keep [my sister] away from me and my family,” explains Ferguson, 59. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/life-balance/info-2024/manage-sibling-conflict-relationships.html

My wife is starting to act strangely? But, first you need some background about her. Back in March of this year she had Colon Cancer surgery, So has a very low tolerance to pain and is very vocal when something is hurting her such as a scream or yells out loudly. She ended up in the hospital for 30 days when they thought she would be out in a normal case in 3 to 5 days. No to present Nov. 2024. She just had right hip replacement surgery and was sent home the same day, I am trying my best as her husband to care for her alone, but now she seems to be very glassy eyed and can't think of words she is trying to say. She is sleeping in a separate bed and she called out for me and she doesn't remember doing it, This was in the middle of the night. Also her Mother had Dementia too. Suggestions are welcomed. Worried Husband 

FROM THE ARTICLE - SEE ARTICLE FOR MORE!!! AARP's New Military Caregiving Guide: Essential Resources for Veteran Caregivers. Navigate challenges and find resources, step-by-step. By Amy Goyer, AARP. Published November 12, 2024. In the 1980s, I cared for my grandfather, C. V. Goyer, a veteran of World War I, World War II and the Korean War, and more than 20 years later, I cared for my dad, Robert Goyer, a WWII and Korean War veteran. Throughout both experiences, I often struggled to find support. When caring for my grandfather, resources were limited. By the time I was caring for my dad, there was more support, especially from the VA, but I spent countless hours navigating his benefits, applying for them and managing them — often an arduous and frustrating process. Since Dad’s passing in 2018, support for veterans and their caregivers has expanded even further. That’s why I felt so passionate about updating AARP’s Military Caregiving Guide for Veterans, Service

I'm so overwhelmed and hoping someone can point me in the right direction. My parents are at the point where they need either in-home care or assisted living options, and while I can certainly research local assisted living options on my own, I have no idea where to even begin to look for other programs or options that could help them. I'm not sure if a home aid is better, and how to find someone who isn't going to take advantage, steal from them, or treat them poorly. In addition to VA benefits, is anyone familiar with any Florida programs that can assist with expenses, anyone that can help me ensure that they will not being taken advantage of when it comes to any contracts they need to sign, and any direction or insight or a step-by-step for how to help them in general? Is there a program that helps explain options to me so that I can explain it to them?

  October 28, 2024 I am a senior, living alone in Philadelphia. I am scheduled for Cataract Surgery at Wills Eye Hospital, on Nov 25. The hospital requires me to have a pickup after surgery. If I don't have anybody to pick me up, the hospital will not allow the surgery!  I need help. I am willing to pay for the service.

As I mentioned, we knew this was coming. Husband has Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease, meaning he has extreme weakness in his limbs and can't stand unassisted. He also has epilepsy, is legally blind and has macular degeneration plus other eye issues. All of this has been ongoing and worsening in the 26 years we've been married. We married late in life -- I was 38, he was 45 -- and lived alone before then. Now I'm facing living alone again, while also worrying about finances, and helping him as best I can from a distance of sorts. One thing in the facility's favor is that it's only about 10 minutes away by bus, so we can see each other fairly frequently and of course we can talk by phone as necessary. My problem is that I am having a very hard time managing by myself. Without having someone else to care for, it's really difficult for me to care about taking care of myself. I am trying to stay fairly positive by saying some costs will go down -- he won't be at home all day so the electri

Does anyone have any information on similar organizations that exist outside the USA?  I'm looking for help for a mother in Spain that refuses to come back to USA.

Hey everyone!I'm taking the initiative to start a conversation about something we all love and use: the bathtub! Now, I'm not just looking for tips on how to relax with a good book in the tub. I want to dig deeper and learn from your experiences. We all know that sometimes, despite our love for a long, soothing bath, we encounter a few hiccups. So, I'm turning to you, our community of bathers, to share your stories.Bathtub Design Dilemmas: Have you ever struggled with a bathtub that's too small or too awkwardly shaped for a good soak? Let's talk about those design flaws!Water Temperature Woes: We've all been there—adjusting the temperature over and over, only to end up with a lukewarm bath. How have you dealt with finicky faucets or temperature control issues?Slippery Slope: Safety first, right? But what do you do when your bathtub turns into an ice rink after just a few minutes of use? Any tips on how to stay safe without sacrificing comfort?The Drain Game: We've all been there: the w

I'm in a really tough spot. I'm 24 years old and I'm my dad's caregiver. My mom got diagnosed with brain cancer when I was 19 and I was her caregiver for a year up until she passed away. This really did a number on me mentally since I had to watch my mom deteriorate each day until she passed away. I had to drop out of college at the time, but was happy to do so to take care of my mom.My dad got a heart attack about 1 year after my mom passed away and was just doing awful at the time. I dropped out to work full time to help out. My dad ended up getting a severe second heart attack a couple months later and ended up in the hospital in a coma with most of his organs failing. The doctors thought he wouldn't even make it the night, but thankfully fought through one very tough year in the hospital. I was in a long distance relationship at the time and my boyfriend ended up moving to my state and living with me(we ended up having to move apartments since my rent was insanely high) to help me

We knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but I wasn't fully prepared for this. It all started on August 6, when his usual power chair lost power twice, and could only be restarted from the main switch in the back. We'd been having issues with the powerbox for months, but the repair facility has done nothing about fixing it. (That's another story). Meanwhile, we were renting a loaner chair, but it didn't have the raise/lower or tilt functions. On August 12th I tried transferring him from the loaner chair to the toilet, only for his knees to buckle and down we both went. Since I'm not strong enough to lift him, we called the EMT's for a lift assist. Once they came, they suggested he go to the hospital at least until Monday when his Medicaid caseworker could figure out what to do. Because his caseworker and the hospital social worker couldn't coordinate very well, he ended up in the hospital for nearly two weeks. Finally, on Thursday the 24th they said he was ok to go home wit

Im a caregiver and the the person I’m taking care of is already under hospice care since last year, she’s stable and all her vital signs are good , she’s not in any pain and still have a very good appetite. She contracted aspirated pneumonia and the family decided not to have the water in her lungs removed so the family put her under hospice . The patient is non verbal and has Alzheimer’s so she cannot decide on her own . Family is not providing food except for eggs, yoghurt , milk , oatmeal and once in a while soup . I have to spend my money to buy food for my patient. My patient is not declining, her condition is stable and she’s still strong . I’m worried about my patient because the family told me not to give her maintenance medication anymore , family said the doctor said not to give but I’m wondering why would the doctor tell not to take medication when he hasn’t seen the patient in a long time . I checked online what will happen if my patient stop taking her medication and