SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Nell......  Ooooh, I'll bet that smarts !  LOL

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

REDNECK WORD OF THE DAY :

Harassment...............

Wife caught man in bed with another woman and he said, " Harassment nothing to me!"

Love that one a couple days back about the Bangor-bound Juggler performing for the state trooper.   Overheard:

Last night I was sitting on my terrace watching TV when I heard my neighbor's wife yelling from the kitchen, 'what you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or lamb?'
He said, 'Thank you, sweet thing.  I'll have chicken'
She replied, 'You're having soup and salad, you bastard.   I was talking to the cat!'

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by Hal

HI Hal.....

Greetings from the Ass Family

Wise

Smart

Lazy

Kiss

Dumb      

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A tough-looking group of bikers were riding , when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "Hey, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide". the jumper replies.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asked, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So she does, and long lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "WoW! That was great, the best kiss I ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you commiting suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."     

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

     Greetings from the Ass Family

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by Hal

Hal~glad to see you post   

'what you like for dinner mylove, 🙂

/> Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their
/> soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store wasn't ready,
/> with only a few shelves and display racks set up.
/>
/> One said to the other
/>
/> "I'll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face
/>
/> to the window, and ask what we're selling."
/>
/> Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to
/> the window and looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in a
/> loud voice asked, "What are you selling here?"
/>
/> One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."
/>
/> Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well.
/> Only two left."
/>
/> Seniors -- don't mess with them, They didn't get old by being stupid!

 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by libbyboi

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.
 Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.

 Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
 Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the heck're ya doing, Billy Bob?"

 "Good Lord, Cletus, ya scared the bejeezers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob.

 "But me 'n the Ol' Lady been havin' trouble lately in the bedroom, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."