SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Remember this everytime you pass that little penny in the lot. I always thought that it was for Good Luck, but I love this version.

I found a penny today

Just lying on the ground..

But it's not just a penny,

this little coin I've found.

Found pennies come from Heaven,

That's what my Grandpa told me,

He said Angels toss them down,

Oh, how I loved that story.

He said when an angel misses you

they toss a penny down...

Sometimes just to cheer you up,

to make a smile out of your frown.

So, don't pass by that penny,

when you're feeling blue...

It may be a penny from Heaven,

than an Angel's tossed to you.

                  HAPPY FATHER'S DAY !   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 I was in  my back yard trying to launch a  kite

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Every woman should have 4 pets in her life:

A mink in her closet..

A jaguar in her garage..

A tiger in her bed...

And a jackass who pays for everything. 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Dave was staring sadly into his pint of beer and sighed heavily...

"What's up Dave?" asked his landlord. "It's not like you to be so down in the mouth."

"It's my 4 yr.old son," said Dave.

"Don't tell me he's in trouble for fighting at school? My lad does the same thing."

"I wish", said Dave.

"It's worse than that. The little #!*X got our gorgeous 18 yr. old next door neighbor pregnant!"

"Get out ! That's impossible," gasped the landlord.

"It's not," said Dave.

"The little devil stuck a pin in all my condoms!"    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

  The little #!*X got our gorgeous 18 yr. old next door neighbor pregnant!"

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

An oldie but a goodie:

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare,"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He then addressed the men. "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Frank leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently and whispered....

"Gold Medal All-Purpose, isn't it?"

And thus began another day of marital silence for Frank.    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 An oldie but a goodie:

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A Maine State Trooper pulled a car over on I-95 about 12 miles south of the New Brunswick/Maine state line.

When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a juggler and a magician and was on his way to Bangor to do a show that night at the Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late.

The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket.

The driver told the Trooper that he has sent all of his equiptment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The Trooper told him he has some flares in the trunk of the patrol car and asked if he could juggle those.

The juggler stated that he could, so the Trooper got three flares, found a lighter, lit them up and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled up in behind the patrol car. A drunk, good old boy, from Limestone, He got out and watched the performance briefly. He then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.

The Trooper observed him doing this and went over to the car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing.....

The drunk replied, "You might as well take my sorry ass to jail, there's no way in hell I can pass that test !!"   

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                            DAFFYNITIONS

ADULT:     A person who has stopped growing at both ends, and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:    A place where women curl up and dye.

CHICKEN:     The only animal you eat bfore they are born, and after they die.

DUST:     Mud with the juice squeezed out.

HANDKERCHIEF:    Cold storage.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

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