SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, "Cough!"

The doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying," Mrs. Cohen, your check came back."  Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

The doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!"  I AM 60 !! "See, what did I tell you?"

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

              A SHORT STORY ABOUT ME

One day long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch.

That would be me.......

But, that was a long time ago, and that was just for one day.    

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                      ALL PUNS INTENDED

Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was salted.

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wans't much, but the reception was excellent.

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Bonnie

Im back for now AARP sent me a nice message and a new sign in woo hoo nell

 ALL PUNS INTENED ....... LOL 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Hi Nell, glad to see you're back in business ! 

Bonnie

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC1

Henny Youngman's doctor jokes:

A doctor has a stethsoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "How do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me." 

A doctor says to a man, "You want to i mprove your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day."

Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you've been running?"

"I don't know....I'm 140 miles away!"   

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?"

"Limp!"       

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

                 Henny Youngman Italian style

A bomb fell on Italy... it slid off.

During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.

Why does the new Italian navy have glass bottom boats?

To see the old Italian navy.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

        HAPPY GRANDPARENTS DAY !  

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Did you have to remind me-Grandparents Day- 

Sooner or Later.
A repeat offender with a long criminal record was brought before the judge. Judge asks "Have you ever stole things?" Thief: Oh, now and then I suppose. Judge: And where have you stolen these things? Thief: Oh, here and there. Judge: Right then! Lock him up, officer. Thief: Hey Judge, when do I get out jail Judge: Oh, sooner or later.

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

Hi Nell,   Sorry to remind you, we're aging right along with the grand kids..LOL

Thanks for posting !